This morning, I was asked what I would do in case of wanting to reconcile with an ex boyfriend. The person who asked the question specifically asked me what I would do if it were my life. I felt very flattered that they valued my potential to inspire them and I was challenged in a positive way, as reconciling with exes was a business I never really wanted to be in.
To be perfectly honest, I only wished to reconcile with an ex once in my life (only because I wasn’t interested in anyone else at the time, until meeting someone new a month later). This story had become my template for breakups, whether they were made official by myself or by the other side. I just believe that every end always means there’s someone better out there and I found them every time because I was open to meeting them. I truly believed that every breakup happened to me for a reason but in reality, this was just a mask for the notion that I never cared about anyone that much. Most of my exes were momentary fascinations I had consciously manifested short-term relationships with.
I decided to look at it from the end result – a basic LoA technique, looking at the world from the point of desire already manifested. I got an ex back – what does that make me? What do I look like? How happy am I? How do I feel? How has accomplishing this made me feel?
What I could automatically see was looking and feeling like a movie star. If getting an ex back is such a difficult task to accomplish, according to many, then why not feel better than ever and make it happen easily? Seeing myself as someone who had just done this, I felt invincible. I felt like a goddess. I felt so good in this imagined scenario that I immediately visualized mutual friends inquiring about the news, everyone asking how it happened and being so surprised, as if the world had transformed around all of them.
Soon, I dove into a spontaneous visualization of the flow of events. I listened to my heart and mind, believing that all the steps taken towards accomplishing this goal had truly come from the essential parts of my personality.
So, what specific steps did I take?
1. Meditation.
I believe in meditation, I love it and no matter how much I practice it, I always want more. In this scenario, I could see meditation helping me make peace with the mistakes coming from both parties that ultimately lead to a breakup (and keep in mind, it is never only one side’s fault). I already believe that continuous feelings of anger towards an ex pose a question of whether or not one really wants them back. How is it possible to love someone who does nothing but cause annoyance? Then, I remembered. When people seem to push our buttons, this is still a question of our peace, our happiness and our stability while they were just the utility that brought those aspects to our attention. If someone pushes my buttons, it means they have touched an unsettled aspect of my mind, heart and soul, leaving it up to myself to fix if I want to improve myself and my life. A scattered mind, which can happen after a breakup, cannot be of benefit in getting an ex back. In this case, meditation is a personally recommended way to focus on the love for two phenomena – oneself and the Universe.
Developing the feelings of trust in our abilities, trust in the Universe, trust in our powers and trust in our thoughts allows us to feel love for the infinite possibilities we can create in our lives.
2. Never surrender to loss.
Feelings of loss create more of the same, just like any feelings. We are all connected to each other, especially those we choose to gift our thoughts and feelings to.
However, I understand that the words your ex has uttered to you may have been hurtful and therefore, caused you to feel that you may have lost them.
You may be offended at your ex thinking or once saying that the breakup was your fault. Don’t be because simply by knowing that it is never only one person’s fault, you are already ahead of most people when it comes to understanding relationships. Their insecurities prevent them from admitting they have done something wrong but that’s their problem to deal with. By focusing on their thoughts, you are deflecting your focus from examining yourself while most likely fearing what you might find. Change this pattern of behavior today – we change our lives and the lives of others with love, not mind control.
All the while, you are forgetting that what we give is what we get. When your ex told you that it was your fault, they have projected the energy onto themselves of things gone wrong being their fault. This doesn’t necessarily refer to relationships alone; it usually means your ex already blames himself (or herself) for many things gone wrong in their lives. Everything is connected and issues translate from one aspect to another.
3. Locate your personal values.
What are your main values in life?
To those who have adopted novelty as being one, wait for your ex to start feeling new to you. In this case, the period of communication cut off after a breakup will be both a blessing to you as well as your most reliable tool. After taking some time in absence from your ex’s life, they will feel new to you while at the same time, your absence will make you missed in their lives.
Novelty can also be translated to yourself. Do you wish to be a new and improved version of yourself the second time around? Are you doing it only because you feel your ex will like it or do you truly want to improve for you? If it’s for you, as it should be, become that person now. Since this new person is the one both you and your chosen person love, you can see how looking back from the end result will ensure that the new you receives the love you want.
If having security is something you seek and value, embrace your love for it and create security within yourself. Make your home your haven. Place all the security you want to feel in it – your home is a sacred place with nothing but happiness in it. Turn your home into your perfect world of love in which there is only happiness and the reminder of how much you love the world. You have been blessed with such a wonderful home and you feel immense gratitude for it every single day.
I cannot stress the value of the perfect home too much, especially to those who see it as an extension of themselves. Everyone wants the perfect home and a mission to create one will lift your energy more than you can imagine. To those valuing security, a home you need only yourself in is going to take you straight to heaven. Over the years, I advised even the most couple-oriented people to start enjoying their own company in their home and sooner than I thought, they started to cherish it so much that even I was baffled. This comes naturally to all of us. You could be next.
When locating our personal values, we are able to express them on our own, without anyone’s help. Then, not only do we feel complete but others are lining up hoping to be the ones to complete us.
4. Be aware that everyone is equally valuable.
You may be idealizing your ex right now, thinking he or she is better than anyone else in the world. However, nobody is. The only measure we have to go by is being drawn to and by love. We are drawn to those who emit love and happiness and we draw specific individuals to ourselves by feeling love for them. This is why it’s difficult to attract an ex one still holds a grudge toward.
The men I drew into my life rapidly were those I thought to be amazing. Not better but amazing! I was attracted to their minds, hearts, points of view, sense of humor and charisma. I was drawn to the “it” factors they possessed which made them different from others. The factor of amazing was caused by the love I felt for the individuals they chose to be instead of things such as personal validation factor, their social status or their level of financial wealth.
But what makes a person amazing?
That is different from one case to another.
What drew you to your ex in the beginning? Was it their kindness? Was it the attention they were giving you? Was it their ability to speak their mind, their confidence or how much they cared about you?
Was it the surprises they were throwing you?
Was it excitement?
Surrendering to those feelings will automatically make you remember what kind of person you were when you started your relationship. If you wish to create this exact reality again, you have it easy! You already have everything you need to focus on, fill with love and see everything unfold.
However, if you only wish to use these feelings and memories as a starting point, you may. Just remember that being allowed into one’s heart and soul will show you they are a complex person who wants love, just like everyone else. Everything you are feeling, they feel, too. We have all been hurt at one time or another therefore your ex isn’t superhuman by any means. Relax about them as much as you are relaxed about everyone else. You can attract them back just as easily.
5. Feel love for the millions of options you are offered in life, whether or not you wish to take them.
Here’s a little abundance mindset exercise I created.
Take three of your exes or those that meant a lot to you. With each, remember the time you felt the happiest. With one at a time, remember this feeling and you will notice that you have relaxed automatically. Reliving these experiences brings you great happiness.
Now, imagine all three of these situations happening on the same day! You probably can’t without feeling a little suffocation for all these people coming at you all at once. You wouldn’t have time to deal with all of them; you would, however, think they were lovely and caring which would only prompt an even greater snowball of love and attention from them. This shows you how much we actually receive when someone gives us their feelings and just by changing your mindset and sending feelings of love towards the ex you want to see return, you will change the energy between you and open the path for the two of you to come together once again.
We communicate with each other through our feelings, whether or not we utter actual words to each other or see each other face to face. Communicate to the Universe that you are grateful. Once you realize there are many things in the world that could make you happy right now, you will release the attachment from what you now see as the ultimate and only happiness.
6. “I always receive even more than I asked for. Thank you.”
When I realized that feeling massive amounts of love for something or someone combined with relaxation, detachment and trust brings even greater results than I ever imagined, I turned this into my own personal mantra. Just thinking of it makes me smile and whether or not it was consciously manifested, this happened to me more times than I can count. I would definitely use this in getting an ex back, as I would remember that sending such a significant amount of love towards anyone and anything ensures magic happening all around.
Right now, you may want an ex back and in love with you. But what if he also asked you to marry him? What if she told you she loved you and wanted to live with you?
You may want your ex to be completely devoted to you, in love like never before. Anything can happen when you trust – what you wanted plus some amazing surprises.
7. Beware of the reality created.
Every aspect of our reality is something we have created ourselves. When it comes to manifesting exes back, fears may come up. The only thing you must remember is that any kind of fear equals creation.
If you fear that your ex can’t love you back, you are creating that reality. If you fear other suitors coming their way, that’s also something you might be creating. You have to trust the Universe and know that your dream goal is yours already. If I should manifest an ex back, I would only accept the option of us being madly in love and only wanting to be with each other. I would think of us as soul mates, caught up in this amazing love we never want to let go of.
When one’s heart opens, they don’t even think about how things will manifest. All they see is how happy living their dream makes them. And since feelings of love create so much faster and more powerfully than any other, this dream comes to life.
I truly hope that those of you who wish to manifest getting back together with an ex will find inspiration here.
THE LAW OF ATTRACTION LIFESTYLE 
427 responses to “A Personal Approach in Getting an Ex Back”
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Nina
I’ve been manifesting and praying since May that me and my Ex get back together. Since than he has purposely tried to move on and date other women which haven’t be successful and he hasn’t really put in effort to try and want me back. I’m trying to not give up my faith or belief that loa works or that God will answer my prayers but I just feel myself getting numb to him and getting fed up with the fact that we are not together by now. It’s been 4 months. How much longer do I have to wait.
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You are in the waiting period with your awareness and instead, you must be grateful for the relationships as if it’s happened already 🙂 The feeling of having it will allow you to let it go to manifest 🙂
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Everything else I wanted from him I’ve gotten. I’ve manifested that he would talk to me and he did. I would manifest that I can see his face and he FaceTime me on our phones but lately he’s been distance. Do I act as if we are back together or do I just let go and allow the universe to handle this ?
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You believed it to be possible for these things to happen but it seems like you don’t yet believe that your relationship can happen, at least not fully. Be grateful that you two are back together, allow yourself spontaneous or intentional visualizations of it when you feel like it and then, let go and let the Universe handle it, trusting that it will 🙂
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First, I’d to start off by saying how grateful I am for finding this site! The positive energy has lifted my spirits considerably in the past two days.
Now, I won’t get into the details of the breakup with my boyfriend because I feel it just sets me back. But ever since I started practicing the LoA I’ve seen some positive signs. I’ve felt MUCH better. For the past 2 months, I’ve had a pang of pain in my chest (like my heart was literally broken) and extreme anxiety, and that has lifted. Also, for the past 2 nights, since writing down and reading my affirmations, sending heart energy and listening to subliminals, I have had dreams about him that aligned with my affirmations, and I didn’t wake up sad (like I had in the past when I had dreams about him).
I’ve been opening myself up to love and happiness again, and have started dating and having fun again. I definitely have moments of negativity where I drift back to the breakup and think of everything, but I have started saying “cancel” or “delete” when a thought shifts into my head and immediately start thinking of something else, like my affirmations or something totally unrelated to my boyfriend.
I know the more I practice LoA, the better I’ll get and that my end result is just a matter of my belief. You are all wonderful people and from the bottom of my heart, thank you for your beautiful comments. I wish you nothing but peace and happiness!
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I love it, thank you so much 😀 You’re clearly doing amazing work with affirmations and enjoying life!
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Hi Vj,
I am not an expert. I can only suggest what I did when i was in your place.
“but the weekend come, can’t get him on the phone”:
There is a belief that I can’t get him on the phone. I would work on this BELIEF. Also WHY it is is so importna tfor me to see him available for me during weekends? FOCUS on FEELINGS. Desperation? I’ll attract more of it. Feeling lonely? Will sttract more of it. The idea is to become self-sufficient and then love and ask for love.
VJ
“don’t want to start an argument, I’ve came to far”
I would arite down what I amf eeling or I will speak to myself – “What I am feeling?” WHY I am feeling so” I always reached a point during such discussions with myself – when I said to Uni “Please give me ease, peace of mind…”
“how can I keep my kool!! ”
I would start focusing on why I am feeling so and so. The answer would be I am still relying on him for my happiness. And this is the key… become self-sufficient that and then seek hapiness outside. But I won’t lie to myself. I would meditate. Meditation is such a good thing to learn how to let thoughts float.
“I don’t want to feel like this…..don’t want to feel like I am being played”
I’d FOCUS on WHAT-I-WANT
“…..STILL WANT HIM BACK IN MY LIFE……ANY SUGGESTION’S….”
WHY do you want him in your life? HOW does it feel when he is in your life? Can you enjoy those feelings when WHAT-IS not WHAT-YOU-WANT
“HE SAYS HE LOVE ME.”
BELIEVE it. and Beleive that not only him but anybody who YOU LIKE or WHO YOU WANT : LOVE you.
“BUT WOULDN’T YOU TRY TO SEE SOMEBODY YOU LOVE”
YES, of course. But here my belief is that I want to see him but perhaps he doesn’t want to see mee. This is a limiting belief. Get to the core.
NEGATIVE
1. Why doesn’t he ant to see me? Notice the answers. [Your work is to turn it around in to wants]
POSITIVE
1. What are the reason he would love to see me? Notice the answers. [Your work is to notice all the good things you have]
NEGATIVE
Perhaps he is playing with me. [Notice the feeling]
POSITIVE
What if there is a paerfect time that what I want will come to me in its own time! Go back to what you want! Dwell on it. Now script, affirm… get to that happy feeling for the sake of being happy.
and so on.
The mantra is “What you Seek Is Seeking You” RUMI
But if you keep looking at WHAT-IS, you will keep getting WHAT-IS
This is what I would have learned.
Hope it helps. Lots of love and light on your way
Thanks.
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Thanks lightline for the info….He called me again today…he said he’s coming tomorrow 2 see me….I started back practicing the LOA. I had slack off of it some, but was still sending heart energy… I think even though things does get better, we still need to practice it…The reason I say this, is because when we are not consciously thinking about our desires, our mind wanders and all kind of negativity creeps in…I also think that we tend to stop using it once our desires is fulfilled…. I think that kinda happen to me….”Because I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul”…And I do believe we already have what we want, or it’s on the way… But we have to keep the faith to bring it to reality, and it is all up to us…We are not in the universe…but the universe is in us☺OUR MIND IS
AWESOME…
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Well said! I must also add, you are willing to do what it takes to receive your desire – be a happy, positive, quality person, in this case. Your positive attitude is amazing and an inspiration to everyone here, I’m willing to bet ❤
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Thank you Nina…Sometimes its a learning process, you start learning what to do, and what not to do…And when you know you are creating your reality..you start thinking positively..
But you have to catch your thoughts, when you notice you are thinking negative and change it to positive…. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT!!!!😇😇
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Yes! 😀
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Hi Nina…this is not about a relationship but something else…Can I comment on this page?? I want to manifest a house, but don’t want to move right now…maybe the end of the year or next year….Do I start practicing LOA, now or do I wait close to that time?…Another question is my credit isn’t that good, so how does the LOA work with this?..How can the law work for me moving without my credit being an issue
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Hi! 🙂 I see a few things here.
1. How you feel about your finances is reflected in your reality. However, how would you feel if you had the kind of money you wanted?
At the same time, don’t connect the money issue to the home issue exclusively. Think about your finances and your home separately. The only way you can see them connected is that you just feel good about being able to easily afford to live in your home. Don’t worry about how your finances are going to be improved but just think as if they already are where you want them to be and feel grateful for it 🙂
2. Imagine what will be like living in that house in a year. You can definitely imagine things far in advance – at twelve, I imagined where I wanted to go to high school and it manifested two years later when I was at high school age 🙂 However, it was on a different continent and I knew my family was moving there long before the high school even started. So, you can imagine NOW how you’ll be living in your dream home in 2017 🙂
What do you think?
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Hi Nina,
It’s me again, from a month ago. I still occasionally check out the comments on your blog; these stories from other readers are just so amazing and inspiring. A big thank you to the above readers, whoever you are out there.
Nina, I thought I’d like to give you a quick update. The last I remembered telling you was that I’ve been meeting new people. I’ve learnt to let go of my ex, to be truly happy with myself first. And indeed, I no longer felt sad, because I know that if we’re meant to be, we will be. If she walks back into my life again, I thank the Universe for it and will accept it wholeheartedly.
But in the meantime, I’m embracing life as it is, focusing on what is and what will be, instead of what was. I asked myself, what is it that I really want, even if my ex came back? Is it her physical touch, the happy moments we could spend together? Do I want her, or do I just want a lady that would accept my unconditional love? Come what may, it may well be just another woman who is more deserving of me.
If you vaguely remember my story, since then I’ve told you that I’ve got to know a couple of new friends from an online dating site. Most of them faded away, as we either realized we have nothing in common or we just didn’t click. Except for one lady, from 2500 miles away. During our months of interaction, there are indeed coincidences. I’ve got a little dairy, and I have to tell you, it’s not just one or two, but close to ten instances of coincidences. By that I meant, sometimes I would just visualize or manifest something I would like, and viola in the next day or so it just happened. Little things like topics I wanted to initiate with her and yet it just came out from her mouth without me asking. Right now I’m visualizing myself going to meet her for the first time. Take it as a solo holiday trip, to meet someone new, to embrace the beauty of the world and the universe itself.
FYI, my ex never called. We’ve never met up ever since Jan, and never had I felt that I could live with it. But I am here, a living example that time heals everything.
-Vel
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Nina, Help!!! Me and partner was getting along fine, talking on the phone everyday.. I don’t know if I said something wrong or not…he seems like he is not interested in talking to me….is it any thing I can do???? Long distance relationship, any advice helpful
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Just think about how happy it makes you to talk to him every day 🙂 Instead of focusing on how things are, think of how you want them to be and feel grateful as if you have it now. Imagine having what you want and be happy about it! Send him heart energy and feel good about yourself. You can do this!
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Hello, me and my ex boyfriend recently broke up about a month ago. Currently I am trying the no contact rule, but it’s impossible for me not to see him due to the fact we attend the same workplace. Also we share the same close friends, so sometimes when out with friends he’s there and at parties, but we never speak at all during them. A few days after the break up, I wrote him a letter appolising and asking if we could be friends (I think this was a bad idea to do this and I got no reply or anything from him). Also I wrote in the letter that I was okay with his decision to break up, but I wasn’t. In a few weeks I want to try and contact him and speak as friends. I would prefer to do this via text as he ignores every call, and as soon as he sees me in person he gets as far away as possible. I just don’t know want to say to him after this no contact period, or how to get him to want to talk to me. Could you please help me or give me any advice at all. I would really really appreciate it and be really grateful.
Any help would be amazing and I would be really thankful. My email is c779912@gmail.com
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Hi Kate,
When someone asks a question here on the blog, I get very excited about Nina’s reply. It’s the same for yours.
In the meanwhile, you can read my replies on this post as well other. They might help because you might connect with it.
In a nutshell my vies are:
1. Things are happening because “once you believed/thought of/wondered about/anxious about, in short, gave energy to what is happening today. Hence the manifestation! ”
2. When you already know, it’s all you : it’s pretty easy to turn that around. But wants some deliberate work to CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS.
3. INTEND: A happy, romantic relationship with . AFFIRM to switch your not-so-good-feeling thoughts.
For e.g. ” as soon as he sees me in person he gets as far away as possible” He loves to see me. It’s just he might not be taking this whole incident in a good way. May be this is a way how he is expressing he is guilty. (DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN DO TO SOOTHE YOURSELF). It means HE STILL LOVES ME. HE LOVES TO SEE ME AROUND. Keep affirming until you get to that feeling.
It will lead you to VISUALIZATION. The way he would behave around you and you would behave around him. NOTICE anything that tightens your muscle, makes you frown etc, that is the resistance. Get over it.
4. One day it all will be so easy that you will forget WHAT IS. It will still follow you in less-than-good feeling way because you will start looking for physical manifestation because your practices will become so real. This is also the time when you can LET IT BE. IT HIM BE the way he is. LET HIM COME.
It all worked for me. and this is what I can suggest…
All the very best. Love&Light on your way.
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I love this Lightline, and you’re amazing 😀 I especially love the way you described resistance.
You also pointed out the essential part – once it feels real and natural, you let go easily!
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Thanks Nina!! I am still looking for your suggestions. to Kate. 🙂
because you are wonderful!!
❤
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Hi Nina
I have another question please. I don’t know quite how to word it.
Are you absolutely sure that simply visualizing someone ‘changing’ towards you will and can happen? I know you are probably sitting there thinking you cant believe I am asking that, but I cant think of a better way to ask it then use those words, and you’ll see below why I am asking it. Not everyone’s person is like Lightlines.
So for instance, this guy always has to be in control and said he has to be 2 steps ahead of everyone, I know its trauma that’s causing him to live such a fearful life. The other thing is that everything has to be on his terms and the other thing is that he says he is picky when it comes to women and only a certain few make it through, i actually believe its because he has no confidence, he gets the attention but then seems to size up these people and declares them not good enough. Did I tell you the first time he came to my house he looked inside my fridge when he thought I wasn’t looking? He was sizing me up. Would you go into someones fridge the first time you meet them? I wouldn’t. He will reply if it suits him, but if it doesn’t suit him he won’t. Some people would call him arrogant, vain, narcissistic.
LOA comes across that YOU can change another persons entire personality from being like what i mentioned above to becoming a loving, caring individual free of his anxiety and issues. Sometimes this seems a little far fetched, that the person will change and become ‘better’ after living 30 years in that state.
I do believe in miracles but someone said to me that he doesn’t respond just to ‘keep me there’ until something better comes along and that he enjoys it knowing i’m upset/in pain etc and he gets off on it, that’s why he doesn’t block me, because if he wanted me he would just say so. People keep saying to me if he really cared he would do something and I should forget about him because he has to many problems.
Thoughts?
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To add…
He had a GF in the past and another one. Why was he able to make an effort with them and not me? Because they met his picky criteria and I didn’t?
Do you understand what I am asking? Why did he make the effort with those people and not with me?
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The people who are now ‘against’ me wanting to be with him were the supportive ones but after this amount of time and not responding unless it suits him they now think he is the worlds biggest asshole.
He didn’t even respond when I asked if he had got his paperwork from the event.
Now I am getting worried also that this is some kind of game. No one is busy 24 hours a day.
I thought I was past this but now i feel a bit worried that they are right. If he wanted me he would just say so.
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He managed to find the balls to date those 2 other people because they obviously met his checklist. Do you see what I am getting at here? He went after what he liked. He didnt like me so he left.
I know you are going to tell me again its because I don’t believe and you are right, I float in and out of it, but when I see someone going into my fridge (to see what kind of food was in there because hes apparently a health nut) and of one of the rooms, I know they are sussing me out. If someone can be that shallow and judge based on first impressions is it any wonder that I am still on this site 5 months later? Maybe it isnt me at all? Maybe hes just got so many issues going on? How can LOA change someones personality when in person they tell me that they were only letting go for that day? If hes need to control is that strong now then how would LOA change something that inbuilt into someones psyche?
I bet you cant believe I am asking these questions, right? Sorry.
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He was so adamant that we were not meant to be together he would continuously tell me that we are not soulmates (not that i ever said we were and I don’t like that label) and he told me I would end up heartbroken if I tried. How do you not know that he isn’t playing some kind of mind game by not answering and not blocking me? We don’t do we? Maybe I am still on this site and that is a sign in itself to let him be with the kind of people he always goes for, which always ends the same way, because its always based on a lie hes created about how it should be and how it should have turned up. Sorry but can anyone else not see how this guy is? The need to be in control, the not answering to anything unless it suits him? How does anyone actually know that he isnt doing what my friends are saying hes doing?
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I’m sorry for all the posts.
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Hi Gretta, don’t worry about it 🙂 I’m happy to help.
The problem is, LoA fails to manifest what you want right now because you feel negatively about him so it manifests more of the negativity. This isn’t criticism, of course, just the way energy flows and as long as you see him as someone who wants to stay away from you and who possesses negative traits, you will keep manifesting more of the same. Opening yourself up to seeing him positively and clearing your thoughts so that you could create a happy reality with him is what needs to be done but I know this is hard for you. However, it is even more difficult when you dive into the negative thoughts about him and yourself.
Your question of whether or not a person changes for certain if you start to look at them differently shows that you don’t believe you can manifest your relationship with him. You feel he has changed for his exes but not you and at the same time, you don’t believe you can motivate him to feel love for you. You don’t feel enough for him while feeling that he, in some way, couldn’t be enough for you because you feel it’s more likely that he’ll stay the same person he is now. Your perception of his negative qualities is stronger than your perception of his positive ones but unless that changes, things will stay as they are. Maybe you just don’t like him enough and never will. Those who believe in the reality they want to create really do create it. You seem to not believe it because you don’t feel that he would make that change for you, indicating you feel undeserving of that reality. You somehow don’t believe you can create this one thing.
From an LoA standpoint, you want to see a change in him but you refuse to see him differently. You still see him as immature, manipulative etc., anything you feel about him. This would also indicate you haven’t forgive him or yourself for the past and the present. The way you feel manifests into more of those same feelings and right now, you are in a comfort zone of those negative feelings. You are also reexamining this because you sort of depend on proof from him to believe that you are manifesting but don’t need proof or anything else. You have to believe before seeing.
Deciding what you truly want would be a way to go. I also think you might be questioning whether or not this/anything is possible because you are looking for an excuse to leave this alone and not try to manifest it anymore. We tend to remove ourselves from the situations we don’t want to be in anymore and look for ways to escape them. I read how you describe him and you are free to think what you want about anyone but when it comes to LoA, you can’t attract a HAPPY relationship with him unless your feelings about him and yourself are happy. Would you be able to bring out the best in him and still accept him for who he is?
In my life, I have most rapidly attracted the individuals I felt the most powerfully loving feelings about. When I would think a specific man was amazing, special, kinder than anyone else, heart-driven, practically husband material or whatever else that was unbelievably positive, I attracted within hours or days! You seem to think the opposite of him so the answer would be to let go and focus on being happy with your life.
I have also experienced being involved with someone I didn’t think much of so I walked away but a while later, I suddenly thought that he was amazing and he was like a changed man! So it worked for as long as I felt positively about him but when I didn’t anymore, I walked away. However, I knew I didn’t want to stay. I knew I had to make a decision and once I did, I felt better. He tried to get in touch afterwards and meet again but I didn’t go for it. I didn’t want to. If you can feel positively about someone, great, but if you can’t, you can always change your mind. However, something inside you seems to be telling you that you CAN feel good about him but the question is, do you want to? Can you forgive his past of sizing people up and be patient to see him turn into a happy, respectful and respected man with good qualities? Do you want this enough to let it happen?
I know a part of you might be trying to make sense of his behavior in order to maybe even forgive and then, manifest love with him. However, it genuinely doesn’t matter what the past was – only what you feel now. You still feel the same way about yourself and him so the change hasn’t happened yet.
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Hi, Nina!
My story is similar and I really needed your guidance. Can I please share it with you?
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Go ahead! 😀 And to everyone else, comment replies are coming this weekend!
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Nina.
Thanks for the quick and in depth reply. 🙂
I don’t know whats happened to me.
Since that reading with that lady I’m all over the place again, I dont know why since that reading that I’ve go so far backwards. I just had a thought come into my head that maybe her saying it would happen and that he did feel something has caused somekind of resistance/reaction/fear of it happening, where as before I was probably just always in the mode of ‘its never gonna happen’ (subconsciously) and that keeping me safe – so when someone said it is going to happen and gave me enough evidence of things in my life of now and past, maybe I went into some kind of denial. I dont know what I am trying to say? Can you see something there I cant?
I stopped being anxious there for a bit and just got on with things but now I’m back to where I was 5 months ago like a ping pong ball. One minute I am there, the next I’m counting at least 6 times in a day that I feel upset at him and just want to quit because it hurts. I hate that feeling that people may assume its because I dont love or care enough for him. Its the opposite, I’m getting angry and upset because consciously I want this and I can’t think of another time when I found trying to attract something this hard but maybe unconsciously I dont want it because of some kind of fear.
When you say you attracted someone in a day or less or even hours that freaks me out even more (not your fault, I know its to help us see how easily it can be done) but when I read how quick you can manifest I get anxious and now I feel like I am pushing against time. It wasn’t helped by an acquaintance that said he didn’t block me on Facebook because when he gets a girlfriend he wants me to see it because he just wants to prove me wrong. So you can now see the opinion everyone has of him now. I dont talk bad about him to anyone. I come here to express my fears etc so when someone comes out and says something like that it makes me very scared that’s hes going to hurt me like he already has. I AM scared that he is playing some kind of a game.
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Hi Nina.
To add…
Maybe there is some root cause going on here of “afraid of getting hurt” – I can’t think of another way to phrase it. “Protecting myself?’
Gotta be something there because I do have fear of getting hurt so I tend to avoid situations that may cause me to get hurt. I remember from a relationship in the past just wanting to protect myself from start, even tho nothing bad happened in the relationship (even tho we split we are still friends)
He has the same thing, looking at it now. That’s why he went to the course ladies house before the course. He was protecting himself also? Right? The not trusting me also? Me not trusting him? A reflection?
Bugger.
Have I stumbled across something here? Can you see what it is?
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Fear of rejection?
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Just plain “Fear” and everything springing off that?
Fear of being loved?
Fear of rejection?
Fear of getting hurt?
Protecting myself?
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Fear of it all – however, that fear is a major manifestation block in life. I advocate and write about self love and self confidence in part because it makes anyone fearless which causes rapid manifestations. Fear is your block and it’s only in your mind.
That fear also renders you incapable of forgiving the past and the present. You try to avoid the same repeating so your mind protects you from manifesting your desire of you two being a loving couple. You don’t believe it’s possible so your mind prevents you from manifesting more of the same from the past.
At the same time, all your fears cause you to feel the need to manifest your relationship and move yourself away from the fear itself. However, need causes more of the same and fear causes more of the same – they’re your core awareness because you feel them so strongly. This is also why other people tell you to ask yourself if you truly want him. I know it upsets you to be asked that but it is a chance to distinguish love from need and your goal is to feel love. So, take those questions into consideration only in the sense of evaluating whether you feel love or feel the need and the fear at any given moment.
You are in a limbo in the sense that you know your fears but aren’t willing to think well of yourself just yet. You might fear that if you think positively about yourself and him, everything will change and right now, you’re nested in a comfort zone of being all over the place. From what I read in your previous posts about your exes, you are used to being in this comfort zone. You don’t see a smooth manifestation of love so instead, it tends to be followed by annoyance at things not happening, then letting go and then, suddenly you manifest. Believing that things are to go happily for you from now on, with anyone you might choose, would be a positive change to implement.
You also still feel some negative traits within yourself stronger than you do positive. You think about what you’re missing instead of what you have so he reflects those things back to you – a lack of respect, thinking you’re not his type, thinking you’re not attractive enough etc.. Instead, practice being happy and simply owning your positive qualities for YOURSELF, not him 🙂 You deserve to love yourself xx
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Hi Nina
Thanks for the reply again. Thanks for your patience, I know I can come across like an emotional wreck frequently.
I’ve sat here for 1/2 hr after reading your post to decide as to whether it’s love or need.
I remember looking at him at the course when he wasn’t looking or couldn’t see me looking at him. I remember looking down at his face when I was doing the healing on him. I remember watching him interacting with the dogs and eating fruit mixed with regular salad (haha! I’ve never seen anyone do that before!)I remember watching the face he pulls when he checks his phone and all these other little things that he does and realizing that day that it was In fact love. It isn’t infatuation or need for him. Truth is this meeting has scared me the most, I thought I loved my past partners but I realized It wasn’t even close to the same level, that’s why I think I lose the plot sometimes. I dont recall ever losing my emotions with anyone else like I have with this situation. I think a fear of losing him is driving the fear and anger. it’s the distance that makes me start thinking up insane scenarios.
I want to try again.
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I’m happy to help. You’re not a wreck and you know that. However, you are resisting him like he is you by thinking negative and positive thoughts about him back to back.
You want to focus on the positive thoughts, stay focused on them and you will manifest fast. You have also manifested things in your life super fast but that was because you felt good and let go.
You will do so much good for yourself if you focus on you and know that you deserve to have what you want 🙂 Start over. Forgive yourself for the past and forgive him. Then, you will know it doesn’t matter anymore but that what you want to create matters the most 🙂
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Yes. Thanks. 🙂
Super fast, yes.
Yesterday I thought it’s getting cold I need new blankets.
Today I was given 3. 3 new blankets. For free.
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Perfect! 😀 You know you can do this, you can let go of your relationship to manifest it fast as well, as long as you feel good about it 😀
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As I sent my response Jim Carey was on TV, The Graham Norton show, explaining how he manifested his life into reality with visualizations.
“Jim Carrey then told the most remarkable story….he explained that when he first arrived in Los Angeles, he was doing his best to launch his career as a standup comedian. He would drive around the city like a madman every night to perform at as many as three times a night in three different clubs. Then, late at night, he would drive up to Mulholland Drive and park in a place where he could see the lights of Hollywood. As he sat in his car he would visualize that he was the biggest star in the world. That the best scripts were being sent to him, along with the best offers. And he would feel how it would feel like to be super successful. On Thanksgiving 1995 he wrote himself a check in the amount of $10 million dollars and put on the memo line: for acting services rendered. Six months later, that is the exact amount he was paid to star in the film The Cable Guy. The rest is history.”
He told another story of how he wanted a bike. 2 weeks later he won a bike in a raffle that he didn’t even enter, a friend had entered himself and Jim and jim won the bike.
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Hi Nina,
Hope all is going well with you. I have been feeling good lately, focusing on meditating, practicing affirmations and just trying to focus more on the positive and of course LOVE. Occasionally, in the past week or so, I’ve had a couple of dreams that I didn’t like. My question is, what does the fact that I’ve had these dreams mean? Does this mean that I still need to work more on my subconscious beliefs?
Thank you,
C
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Hi Nina,
I love the way you explain LOA. I’m trying to get my ex husband back by meditation, sending him love and light, writing my affirmations and letting go.
I have no doubt he is my soul mate. Whatever happened in our past I can get over and I believe we can grow from all of this.
My question is about his new girlfriend. Are my messages to him, my positive energy, blocked by his feelings for her? I am trying not to think too much about them and trusting that what’s meant t be will be, but I don’t see many stories about people getting back together when there is another party involved. Also, we are I’m frequent contact throughout the day as he wants to be friends right now. I am not initiating that contact but I try to remain positive when he reaches out. How should I handle this? I see him a few times a week because of the kids and I can see he still loves me. Thank you so much for any guidance you can give me.
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Dear Nicole, I am so sorry for the delay but I am back now 🙂
First of all, thank you so much 🙂 You asked a good question because I think others would also like to know the same thing.
I have manifested someone who was dating another person three times in my life. If you focus on them or think about them, there will still be a “them.” However, if you only imagined your reality as you wanted it to be, being happy and grateful for it but not at all bothered by the current circumstances, you can manifest. We receive what we believe we can manifest. If he wants to be friends, you can accept it and be totally cool with it since you KNOW that you’re getting what you want – this is just for now 🙂
Are there any news on things between you guys now? Either way, imagining your relationship as you want it to be while being happy about it will ensure manifestation.
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So me and my ex broke up weeks ago and I really miss him and feel like he is my soul mate. I want him back in life so bad. We are only in texting terms now but I want to know how can I manifest or what can I do to get him back in my life or to express his love for me again. ?
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Hi Crystal,
Ask what you want -what would happen between you two when desire has manifested? – Visualize that – Love yourself and find any reason that you think your guy would reject “according to you”… just affirm that you love yourself the way you are and they love you the way you are. Keep doing it..
Remember in any circumstance: It’s you who attracted / manifested whatever is happening in your life. You allowed it. If it is something less than good, just think how it would be when it is good…
Love&Light
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Hello Crystal, sorry for the delay 🙂 How are things going now?
You only need to decide you two are to be together again and imagine, feel, visualize it as if you have received it already. Be grateful for having your dream come true relationship in your life 🙂 The goal is to imagine it as you want it to be instead of what is happening now and completely disregard and be relaxed about the current circumstances 🙂 If you truly love him and this relationship, you will create it easily xx
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It’s been a month now and we are on texting terms. I have a feeling we are going to get back together but I’ve seen a girl one of his friends trying to talk to him and see him. I don’t want him to date anyone I just want us back together so I stop wishing and praying for it and pretend like it’s already happen. You know act as if the loa answered my prayers and I’m basically taking the steps to be back with him. What else can I do at this point. I wanted to manifest that we be back together by the end of this month of June.
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It is important not to pay attention or give any feelings to him dating anyone else, especially because you want to get back together. Thinking about not wanting him to date anyone can only make you feel negatively because that is thinking about what you don’t want. You have to imagine what it’s like to have what you do want which is the two of you together. If you focus on that, everything will rearrange for you. Never think about how it’s going to happen – be happy about having your relationship now.
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I also sometimes get discourage because I see ppl post that say. I can’t use loa to get my ex back because it’s against his free will and I should just let it go and move on but I don’t want to move on because for the first time I feel like I’ve found my soulmate. Maybe we ran into each other too soon but I’ve never felt this way about anyone I ever dated and I know deep down he still has feelings for me and misses me he just scared
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Only focus on believing that what you want is yours. If you truly believe, you won’t care about what anyone else thinks.
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I asked loa to allow my ex to do the following: miss me more than I miss, still have feelings for me, talk to me more and see me. Last night he ask me to call him and we talked on the phone for 3 hours just like how we use to when we was together. He says he just wants us to be friends but when I mention anything about dating he starts questioning me. I feel like the loa is answering my prayers becuz he finally spoke to me. I just wish he express his feelings for me.
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Sounds great! You could ask for him to express his feelings in the same way you did the other things and manifest it 😀
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Hi Nina
I am Jes.
I have been a user of low of attraction for the last one year.But i
got the desire fullfiled only 2 times.one is for passing an
examination,and another is to being attract my best friend as my
lover.His name is vishnu.
Now we are in love(thank you universe).I didnt’ see such a guy in my
life.I have so many boys as my friends.But he is different.He is a
family oriented guy.I have no words to describe about his love as a
friend.I had an affair with another guy.who utillised me in all
terms,in money .After that he left me.And he said the
reason was his mother didnt like me since i am not in his cast (you
know in india there is cast system even in Hindu religion,I am belongs
to a lower cast than them,and the funny part is that my vishnu is also
belongs to my ex boy friends cast.that means i am lower than vishnu
also).
All that hard time vishnu stand by me,and he become my mother.Didnt
let me alone.
Slowly I began to forget about my ex boyfriend.
And seeing vishnu as my everything,my mother ,father,best friend,even
as my soulmate.
Now my family is searching for my marriage,i said everything to my
parents and brother about my vishnu.They are happy for seeing him as
their son in law.But in vishnu’s home things are different.His father
is such an orthadox man,he is not ready to give green signal for our
relation.
As a last step i have meet a black magic person.First time of meeting
he said everything will be end as our wish.But when I meet that person
second time he said that ,this relation may course trouble for my
entire life,and he said my vishnu is not able to protect me and his parents will make my life a tragedy.so my Vishnu said that his parents will not support us so we have to separate for my better life,he can’t see me crying whole life.
I am so scared.I am broken.I need him in my entire life.Otherwise my
option is suicide .There is nothing to replace him.Because he is the only person who understand me more than my mother.
I cant live without him.I want his parents blessings too for our life.I
am happy to look after them for their entire life as my own parents.But
they measure me in my cast and wealth.not in my education ,job or
character.I want his family to love my family also.I need my poor
parents also get a seat in their family.
Nina i want your guidance.I am sure you will be there for
me.Please show me the way which i have to choosen.The only thing is
that,I need his and his parents love through out my life.
Nina
please give the reply.
Lots of love.
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Dear Jes,
I am so sorry to have been absent, I was finishing my book but now, I’m back.
You can manifest what you desire here. All you need to do is take everything you want your relationship to be and picture what it’s like to have it in your life right now. You can ask the Universe to be in the kind of relationship you want with him and then feel, imagine, visualize what it’s like to have it, be happy in it and have all your families accept it.
We manifest what we believe that we can receive, what we believe is possible for us. You must believe that your relationship is possible, just as you want it and be because it belongs to you already – it only needs to actually manifest but it’s a done deal 🙂 Be happy and grateful for it, appreciate your life as it is now and be grateful for your relationship as if you’ve received it already xx
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Hi Nina ,
I am in the most worst situation in my life ,That’s when I saw your site .
I am married and we both loved each other a lot,
Rather I would say used to . Dono what happened
Small tiffs lead to my husband not taking to me
At all now and we are staying away . I know how Much
We loved eachother , he never used to get angry
Even if he didn’t like something also . So that
Pend up emotions burst all of a sudden ,may be.
Now he doesn’t want anyone …
He is a extremely good person at heart . Everyone loves him. He can’t
hurt anyone at all that’s his original nature .
Even though he hates me now ,may be . I know
He is sad and suffering mentally , I want to help him. I want to give him
Back to everyone .
He is angry at me from last one year,furious not ready to even talk to me so that we can discuss what happened. Just tells me leave from my Life.
But I don’t even have a drop of anger for him. Because I know him that well .
Last one year i tried to find out what all was wrong in me and
consciously corrected me , but i have no way to tell him since he
doesn’t speak or contact me.
If he as decided himself he doesn’t want me can’t law of attraction help me… We have no major issues between us , just all misunderstandings
which could have been sorted easily. He is fed up and scared he will have to adjust again too much. But I have no way to let him know
i have changed for good. We stay apart now. I cannot live without him. I begged to him many times, but he is not ready to give in .. and doesn’t talk. now
Please help.
Regards,
Parvathy
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Hello 🙂 Don’t worry, LoA can absolutely help you.
I suggest sending heart energy to him and just connecting with your own. Heart energy fills us with love. Think about anything you love, him or anything else, imagine a happy scenario and then, you will feel the warmth around your heart. Then, be grateful that your heart energy is touching him. Imagine that he’s happy about the two of you being in love. Start with that to connect with your good feelings and to start to believe your relationship is possible once again xxxx
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Hi Nina, Vj here….I haven’t been on here in a min. Please help!!! My partner lives in another city, haven’t seen him but once since he left last year…we used to talk on the phone a lot, then he started getting distant, don’t text msg back, get off the phone quick, not having too much to say…..One night he didn’t answer the phone, and it went straight to the voice mail…And I just went off on the deep end😈😈 I sent some horrible text msgs, and I do mean nasty, I told him I hated him, and to send my money that he owed me…he said yes, but kept making excuses….I told him once he senfld my money I wanted nothing else to do with him……GUESS WHAT? I think he let his phone got disconnected on purpose so I can stop talking to him and wouldn’t have to send my money…He didn’t block me, he just didn’t pay the bill, I know because I checked….I think he got another phone number and phone….. I DONT REALLY HATE HIM, I JUST SAID IT TO TRY TO HURT HIM LIKE HE’S HURTING ME…I think he’s got a gf……I know what the LOA says about whatever, and you will get more of..but in reality, what if this is true??? THAT HE DOES HAS SOMEONE ELSE…..HOW CAN THE LOA CHANGE ANY OF THIS??? OR SHOULD I LET GO….STILL LOVE HIM, “I THINK IM STUPID FOR LOVING SOMEBODY WHO I THOUGHT LOVED ME”,….HOW COULD SOMEONE JUST CUT SOMEONE OFF LIKE THAT….PS… IWAS ALWAYS THERE FOR HIM EVEN WHEN HE WASNT THERE FOR ME.
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Dear VJ,
I know this seems like a hopeless situation now but anything can be fixed with LoA. However, it is important to find forgiveness in this situation, as abstract as it sounds.
If you fear that more of the same will come up, more of this or other types of frustration, that is what will keep happening. On the other hand, if you first find some peace within yourself, taking a step back from this entire incident and focusing on finding your inner peace and happiness again before thinking about solving this situation, everything will be OK.
Relationships can be emotional and difficult for us so fights happen. Even relationships with exes I see people having can be quite annoying because of so many emotions involved. These things happen and knowing that is enough to forgive yourself for what happened, for your feelings and your frustrations. Don’t be mad at yourself. You don’t have to be perfect.
Only after forgiving yourself, you will be able to put this behind you and imagine your relationship as you want it to be. It can be simpler than you believe xx
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Nina, thanks for the advice..I will try doing that….But he changed his number..I have no way of talking to him, and he is not on social media……. its not like I’m trying to talk to him right now, I’m gonna try working on myself… Do you think he will ever try to contact me?….BTW, what are some good LOA techniques for a situation like this?
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You could ask that he send you a message. This is not the same as asking for a relationship but if you want a message, you can manifest it. Ask that you receive a message from him or that you make contact in an even better way. Then, let go and just be happy, knowing that you will manifest what you want. You must be happy now, without your desire in your life but knowing that you will receive it, in order to manifest it.
I always suggest using my four manifestation steps described here: https://thelawofattractionandmylife.com/2016/01/31/keeping-focus-on-your-ultimate-goal/
You start from asking, visualize receiving or having it and then, you let go 😀 In that order. You could ask for a message which would put you back into contact so maybe it’ll be easier to believe that you will manifest a relationship afterwards.
Believe and let go. The sooner you let go, the sooner you will receive.
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Hi Nina. VJ here…..how long should I wait for the message…. I said a lot of terrible things to him, I wouldn’t want anyone to say to me….I m not blaming myself for everything, some of is his fault….. Im just all into my feelings right now, feel like crying!!! ..I know I’m only responsible for the things I say and do…SOME THINGS I SAID WAS UN CALLED FOR..I JUST HAD SOME MUCH ANGER I N ME…..PLS HELP ME…DO YOU YHINK HE WILL EVER CALL ME AGAIN………SHOULD ALWAYS THINK BEFOREBI SPEAK…….SOOOOOO!!! Sorry…….I NEED A SECOND CHANCE TO MAKE IF RIGHT.
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Just think about how it feels to get that second chance, how you are using it and be grateful for it. Don’t think about waiting or it will lead to even more waiting.
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Hii nina….
Loa helps me a lot to manifest my boy… xactly now he is talking to me… i had achiEved 1 step dat is.. from no contact rule now he is talking to me… he is confused… he dont wants to be with me… in relation as before… coz he is with some another girl at present .. bt he spoke to me dat he does nt have any feelings for any girl like he feels with me.. bt he is avoiding me.. he becomes rude… he is not happy from inside which i can see in his pics.. i had asked him directly indirectly in every manner.. bt he said everything has change n now he dont want to be with me.. he luv me .. care 4 me… bt he is not xpressing himself as before wat should i do…
I was trying meditation also … bt d reality hurts me wen he told me dat .. he is with someanother girl.. n wen i fEel d reality it hurts i burst out… i m nt getting how ti trust him onceagain n irritation den panic attack… all comes along together… n i used to cry alot… feeling like i m not having attraction anymore.. all my anger n irritation everything burstout at him only bt he never understands my anxiety dat wat i want plz…. help me… wat should i do to bring my charm back.. n offcource d understanding n relation between 2 of us….
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Plzzz reply me….
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Hello dear 🙂 I am back and answering to you first! I was on holiday for a week.
The important thing to do here is ask for your ideal reality to the Universe and train yourself to believe it. How would it feel if your ex said the things you wanted to hear? Feel gratitude for it 🙂 Just calmly think about what you WANT, in a normal and calm way and you will start to believe it is possible. Just take a few days to train yourself to believe that since you have asked, things have already changed to fit your ideal reality. However, you must believe before seeing.
I think the problem right now is that you don’t believe that things can change; however, they CAN. If you want them to, they can. There is no reason why we should not stay focused on our IDEAL realities.
I also think that today’s article will help you, it’ll be online soon.
Let me also ask you this – why don’t you believe things can change? It might seem it is so because of your ex’s words but in truth, it is because of a limiting belief you have of yourself. It always goes back to how we feel about ourselves. That limiting belief can be as simple as just not believing that things could ever work out for you or it could be something deeper.
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HI Kshama,
Nina is on vacation. She will reply you as soon as she is back. In the meanwhile – just decide what all things you want. From a spoon to a shooting star.
Love & Light
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Thanks lightline … for replying … i jst want my boy to come back 2 me… he is avoiding d relation jst coz he is talking 2 someother girl..n having in a relation with her.. bt he still loves me … he talks 2 me… bt he thinks all those feelings which was before with me cant grew up …. coz he wants 2 change , he is unhappy… n dat i can see from his face.. bt he dont want 2 come 2 me… wat should i do.. n by seeing all dis i jst burst out in anger.. i visualize d things bt sooner wen i face d reality i became upset by seeing his dp’s status n all…. plz lightline help me… i want him back i want 2 restart my relation with him… he still has nt given my space to anyone.. else i too dont feel anything for any guy except him… i tried too flirt , i tried to be engage with some1 else… bt i dnt want 2 be.. i jst see him every where .. bt.. wen i’ll get d results.. after so many problms i faced den he start talking 2 me.. bt still he dont want 2 be in relation . Plz lightline guide me…
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Don’t force yourself to do anything you don’t want to – just focus on doing what makes you happy!
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Lightline… would u help me out… plz.. i m having certain questions … like.. i know.. my boy loves me.. bt he dont wants to be in a relation with me like he was as before.. nor he wants to get too attached to me… plz give me some clue how to attract him… wat should i visualize ,wat belive i should make.. plz help… me i want 2 be in his priority list .
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Hi Kshama,
Read this post: https://thelawofattractionandmylife.com/2016/01/31/keeping-focus-on-your-ultimate-goal/
Also, Ninas book is great and is available on Amazon.com
Thx,
C
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Thank you C 🙂
And Kshama, I know you can do this!
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Please do not worry. I’m sure Nina will answer soon. She was on vacation so she is probably still getting things in order, but in the meantime please try to focus on the things you want. You are actually in a good place. Your guy has admitted he still cares for you a lot. 🙂
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So true C!
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Hey Kshama, so sorry. I saw your reply today. The only way I get to know about a new comment is through Nina’s widget and your comment was possibly lost in all new ones. But Nina has made some changes and we all can see most of the valuable comments. 🙂
About ur question and my opinion: since I know I get what I focus on…. I’d change my focus. What I BELIEVE I GET. WHat I FEEL I GET. I’d change all of that. I’d cry if I want to but the moment I stop crying, I’d find myself a reason to smile and feel love from within.
Love & Light
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Great advice Lightline 😀
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Thank u nina…. u know wat my luv is talking 2 me… on daily basis.. he said he respects me.. he luv mE… bt he also said i should nt force him 2 come in relation.. coz i m d only 1 to start talking to him 1st … droping msgs n calling… i dnt want him 2 come forcefully … i only want to be with me as before.. should i write my story of my 3yrs relation to manifest the trust as before…. or his luv 2wrds me as before.. n nina want 2 tell u 1more thing i m so happy finally he has unblocked me from every social sites… 😀 i m so happy… i have jst asked him for a month to be with me.. so dat i get a chance to bring him more closer to me… , to attract him once again.. to regain his luv … bt i always make excuses to talk with him… i want he to talks with me with out any xcuses , i want to be in his priority list . Thankew c, lightline.. nina… for all ur responses… thankew so much … can u tell me about more of ur blogs related to same article. I love reading ur blogs .
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You can reflect on your relationship back when you were happy together and if you remember it, it will evoke happy feelings in you and allow you to manifest it again.
Think about how everything will feel after you’ve attracted him and how it feels to have your relationship the way you want it, as if you have it now. I think you’re in a great place already, with all the communication between the two of you, and you can imagine having even more if you tried. Just use the techniques that make you HAPPY – writing, visualization or anything else.
I have something here if you want, my old blog which deals with just self-confidence: https://improvingconfidence.wordpress.com/
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My ex has been so untalkitve to me and i got iritated that he hasnt put in any effort to try and see me this summer so i block him in all sociak media pages and he doesnt have my new number. I still want us back together and i pray over it and hsve faith god will work it out but i just got titrd of feeling like i was being ignored or other were being put before me. I dont know what do to. I dont want to unblock him becuz i feel like hes goes in my pages just to check on me just so he kniws what im doing. I want him to wabt to call me see me and miss me more than i miss him.
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Hello 🙂
If you want the two of you to be in a happy relationship, you should imagine both his behavior and your relationship different. When you think about this social media situation now, you think don’t think about love but about some sort of possession, tracking you down… Imagine what it would be like to live in mutual love and have him call you out of that LOVE 😀 Imagine what it would be like to be happy together and be grateful for it, as if it has happened already.
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Thank u nina…. for ur response… thankew so much
I’ll come 2 u …. wenever i m in need plz…
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Dear Nina and Lightline,
Thank you for the inspiring blog and advice. I’ve read all the comments from others and it helps me to understand LoA more.
I broke up with my boyfriend of 3.5 years almost 2 months ago. We are in no contact for almost a month now. After I found your blog and others about LoA, I start to practice the meditation, positive affirmation and visualization.. I feel calmer, happier and more positive about my situation.
I have some questions though.. Is it okay to visualize more than one circumstances or is it better to focus on one? A few days ago, I have this sudden pop up visualization that he come to the front of my house and suddenly hug me, and saying sorry, his face look so troubled. At that moment, it feel so real and it pops up in my mind twice. But, I also try to visualize him sending me message or call me. Sometimes, I visualize waking up beside him and looking at his sleeping face. So, should I focus on one at a time?
You said it’s important to manifest and let go.. By letting go, is that mean we don’t need to do all the visualization, affirmation?
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You can visualize as many circumstances as you wish as long as they make you happy. It is that happy, loving feeling that makes visualizations feel real to us which is what you want so that you could manifest them. Go with your spontaneous visualizations because they easily provide those feelings as well.
Letting go means knowing that your desire belongs to you without worrying how it would manifest.
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Hi CG,
Nina’s crisp response says it all.
I personally visualized any things depending on situation, place, day, night etc. only because they made me happy. It just felt like thinking of what I wanted to happen. My personal experience is “Sudden” visualization that occur are what Universe has planned for you. My sudden visualizations came true to T. That also means when they popped-up, i just repeated them over and over because they felt good. So it’s a good thing! If I had your visualization, I’d repeat it tirelessly if it feels good ONLY, and I might change his troubled face to a smiling one. But it depends what really tickles your feelings.. you just find yourself filled in love that your chest area chokes. (A good time to send some of this to him if it is not mixed anything else other than love).
Let-go…. I am still learning. 😀
Love&Light
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Love it! 😀
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Wao…. amazing… reply… i’ll do d same… i luv it… i can do dis…
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You can!!
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Thank you for your reply,Nina.. Lightline!! 🙂 I’m still trying to keep my mind positive all the time, because sometimes the negative thoughts pop up and it’s hard to switch it to positive one.
When feeling down, I listen to happy songs to raise my mood up and try not let the negative take over my mind.
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Hey… lightline n nina… you know
I m writing my luv story… of last 3yrs… n asked him to go for editing n he agrees for the same… i m doing dis so dat he can recall all d luv memories .. n happy times of together… m doing correct na…
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If it made you feel good to do it then it was the right move 🙂
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Hi Kshama,whatever inspiration u r getting to do and u feel happy, love and good feelings… go do it. As Nina said.
They all are taking u a step closer to ur desire… or may be lore than one step… u never know.
There is this little story when i had planned not to contact but i intended to talk to him. To hear his voice on phone. That he talks amd stuff. I intended this when I used to feel on cloud 9 if he just read my messages. And that week I listened to thsi song “I am only one call away… ” I had this song in my play list for long , but it never played in past but that week. Amazing right? This made me happy and I made an entry in my journal. . (Google keep) . That very week, I saw him, and that evoked some “missing him” feelings, and I got mad at Uni. And I just murmured to Uni.. in the morning. .. “what r u upto. I don’t understand. I am happy then he comes in front of me that I am grateful for but why it caused me pain today…” I didn’t understand. Why? Because before that day I was really happy and I was on positivity side. . If u know what I mean. There was nothing that was bothering me. I didn’t understand anyway. The song one call away played multiple times that day. But that me madder. Lol. In the evening, I am still at work and just playing with my journal entries that needed to be loved to “Visualization” notes as Nina suggested in one of her blogs. In that nite I had our pictures and some mock chats. And mistakenly, i copied “I am only one call away” too which was on top of that note. I could read it whenever I opened keep. I didn’t get it because I never wanted to call him but I had intended to talk to him. And uni could fulfil it this way only.. so uni made me see him once again-while I was in cab-silent-listening to songs- half meditative syate- and this popped. .
Uni wants me to call him. I called him and he picked the phone. He talked and then we had a chat on whatsapp. And he said he would come to meet me. And he did. ..and I shared that success story here on Nina’s blog somewhere.
This is definitely not a little story… but what I want to say is …. uni is generous and u will get what u have intended for. That desire ur heart has been pining for long. Just pay attention to the impulses. And then that feeling in ur heart area and then that smile on ur face.
Good luck.
Thank you all. Love and Light
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Thanks nina… n lightline…
I m feeling happy most of d time… bt somewhere i dnt get same response from my boyfriend i get upset.. den very soon i try to avoid the situation or ignore it to make me happy once again… bt some times it makes trouble… bt i m trying…n i’ll do iT…bt i m nt be able to do meditation i dnt know y..bt i m nt having stable mind.
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Thank you for sharing this Lightline.
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Sorry for all the typos. Moved* note*
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Thank you so much for this blog and amazing insight. My situation is twice as tricky (or so it feels…) because my ex and I are still living together until August 1st due to economic reasons. Our break up was sudden, and he is now cold and polite and distant with me. There is no intimacy; we live as roommates basically. It’s so agonizing, and I don’t know how to apply the loa while still residing under the same roof? Essentially there is no “no contact” period except for a week long business trip he recently went on. How can I begin to work with this energy when we were still living together? I feel completely despondent, like I’m just biding my time until the real period of grieving sets in once we move apart.
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Hey, I didn’t want to jump in already. But hey, I’m back!
GeriG I’ve been through this situation too, living with her after the break up for around a month.
I visualized her hugging me, because I really missed that lol
While we were sleeping still in the same bed, she always turned over to hug me. I’m not sure if she ever consciously realized that, but that doesn’t matter 😛
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Welcome back! 😀
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Thank you very much 🙂
I see what you mean. In this case, it is important to ask and believe immediately. Ask for you two to be back together, happier than ever and expect it to happen so that you could see your ex’s behavior change immediately.
Don’t put anything off but believe that this is yours and forgive the both of you for your current situation. It is important to make peace with the way things are now, realize that we are all just human and we make mistakes, and start to imagine this new, loving reality 🙂 Feel that love and be happy!
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If you can, just pretend u r still together. Pretend outside (believe inside). Do everything u used to when u guys wee together. I would have Visualized things step by step. . Like his behaviour has changed. Then he cancels on moving out. Then …. makes a plan with ne and stuff….
This is what I would have done. ..
❤
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Hii nina…. i m trying to visulize d person.. i m asking n believing also … bt still my boyfriend is attaching with some1 else… he is talking with other girls… dating dem… avoiding me… my conversation…. n here 2 other guys are attracting 2wrds me… bt i want my boy friend to be with me… n another thing … nowdays … frequently… n suddenly i get vibrations dat he touches me… we r together bt on another hand i dnt get any response from his side. It effects me… i m d only 1 to call him, n be in a contact, he doesnt call me… or keeps any contact. Nina i want him… i dnt know y… bt on classroom.. on cafeteria.. i suddenly get vibrate imaginations come around … i feel him… n suddenly reality hits me , i seriously … luv him… i need his happiness also.. bt i want my relation back…
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You must be able to ignore and not be bothered with the current reality in order to manifest the one you want. Focus on the reality you want and believe it’s happening right now! You can do this xx
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Hello Nina, I was asking for some advice from the Universe about my story and I just found this website. 🙂
My ex girlfriend left me 3 months ago. We still talk via text on social media but we haven’t seen each other in person since the breakup. We were together for 2 years and 4 months. Our relationship was so beautiful, deep, really special. But what happened to her was a “loss of attraction”, I mean, she can’t see us as a romantic couple anymore. Her feelings for me have changed, she said. Looking back, I can seen I became needy in the relationship, I really can see that now. See, she really loves me as a person, she says she truly cares about me and wants me to be happy. She wants to build a true friendship between us in the future. She said to me: “from soul to soul, I love you”. And I can feel she’s telling the truth.
The thing is, with the Law of Attraction EVERYTHING is possible, right? So, I really love her as my girlfriend and I’m willing to fix what I did to end the relationship. The problem is that my self esteem is so low now. See, in the beginning, she was really crazy about me, wanted to see me everyday. She was the one to ask me to be my girlfriend. Now, she’s so certain that her feelings have changed that I ended up losing my power to believe that I can fix it. I need to believe that she can love me again the way she did before, but, to be honest, I don’t know what to do to achieve this state of mind. She’s already dating other guys. she wants to be my friend and all of these facts make me feel like I don’t have power to reverse things to a point where she wants to get back together with me again.
So, everything is possible for the Law of Attraction, right? I need help to destroy these limiting beliefs and truly believe in myself. I just don’t know how to do it in a efficient way. Could you give me some thoughts, please?
Thank you in advance 🙂
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Hello! And welcome 😀
Yes, anything is possible and you can revive your relationship. You must see yourself as perfect for her again, the two of you perfect for each other. Accept that her words and everything that happened is in the past now, forgive it and begin to believe that your relationship is a done deal 🙂 You can create it anew.
LoA is all about how YOU see yourself. Right now, you see yourself as someone she doesn’t want to be with. You must see yourself as worthy, attractive and someone she is magnetically drawn to 🙂 This takes self-belief and you can do it!
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Thank you for your reply, Nina. 🙂
Right now I feel totally unworthy, because we met in a club yesterday and we agreed that we wouldn’t “flirt” with anyone there in respect for each other’s feelings. But the thing is, I saw her dancing with a guy and he tried to kiss her. She avoided the kiss and said something in his ear giving him a hug (probably explaining the situation). That left me devastated because I felt she would have kissed him if I wasn’t at the party. She avoided it just to protect me. We talked later there and I said it was too hard for me to handle all that situation. She gave me a lot of sincere hugs, saying “I love you, I really do, but honestly, my love has been transformed. I don’t want to be with you in a romantic way anymore. And this makes me so sad, because I don’t want to hurt you and I’m afraid that you can get confused with your feelings for me.” – I feel her sincerity and that’s what kills me. I’m special for her, she wants to keep me in her life, but as a friend. And I don’t want to be just a friend. But I feel powerless, like, how can I focus on her loving me in a romantic way again if all I can see is the opposite? I know she’s seeing other guys, I saw her almost kissing someone else, that image drives me crazy. I mean, all of this makes me feel like I don’t have power to reverse this situation. At least I don’t know how to have this power. I need to learn how to do it. Focusing on the end result makes me feel like “it’s fake”. I created a lot of resistance and limiting beliefs about this situation and I don’t know how to get rid of them. I trust it’s possible, I know I have to be aligned. But sadly I still don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to disregard circumstances and keep believing in myself. Could you help me please?
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You will be able to focus on the reality as you want it to be as soon as you start to be OK with the way things are for now, without letting them bother you. In the end, you CAN accept things the way they are now because none of this will matter once you are back together. So she said this now, and so what? If you believe in yourself, her and what you want, you can make it happen. You can love yourself, love her, be SURE that your relationship is happening and, it will.
First, give yourself just a little time to accept that the way things are right now won’t matter after you’re back together. You know that miracles happen every day so believe in them. After you get used to these ideas, you will be able to see that things are possible and will be able to picture the two of you together. Feeling unworthy will be replaced by feeling worthy as long as you focus on loving yourself and affirming to yourself that anyone would be lucky to be with you. Remind yourself of all your qualities and you will start to believe this to be possible.
As long as the current reality upsets you, you can’t manifest a happier reality and you know that. Think about the things as you want them to be and get used to being grateful for them, as if they have happened already. In a little while, you will have no reason to believe that this is impossible. Don’t be afraid to believe in miracles.
See what I mean? 🙂
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Nina please help me. All I want is to be peaceful and have my ex back. The ex part has already started working but now I keep thinking about other people that I’m not even attracted to or have talked to in over a year. Why do I have these thoughts? How can I stop them? I know I only love my ex because of the feelings I have. I really need the thoughts gone.
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Hello 🙂 Your resistance and negative thoughts can be removed by strengthening your belief. The entire problem could be solved by asking to be with your ex, believing it’s yours and being grateful for it, as if it’s happened already.
You say that you love your ex so by focusing on that love, you will make things happen 🙂 If your mind goes to negative thoughts, think of how much you love your ex and you will start to believe the relationship is yours again.
So, you won’t be fighting those negative thoughts but just replace them with positive ones.
You can do this!
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Hello, I’m really curious about your views and opinion.
Me and my wife split up about two months ago (she started seeing somebody else), after about three weeks of really big sadness I started working on myself and looked into the LoA again. Firstly I was maybe a bit bad at visualizing but after some days I could really feel confident and happy for longer amounts of time. Probably this was also the time when she started messaging me again and out of the blue I asked her to meet up which we did the same day and it felt really awesome (like she was smiling at me all the time). Some days after I asked her again and we met again, but this felt more awkward… Now we are still in contact and she wrote me a message that she had to cry because I’m such a nice guy but she wants to stay friends and stay with her decision.
During this time I’ve encountered several strange things and I’m wondering if I can really take them as signs for some “half-working” manifestation? Like when I met her the first time her guy was REALLY away on vacation and left her sad a bit (somehow like i imagined…)… And shes somehow really back in my life though not the way I wanted; the second meeting probably really went a bit worse due to me being a bit desperate after the first was so so well…
Though when visualizing right now I sometimes can nearly even feel her being really there and touching her which gives me an awesome, probably even ecstatic feeling….
One question would be how to deal with “the other guy” during my visualizations? Or should I just leave him out? Affirm to myself he’s disappearing? Or he’s the wrong one?
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Or to make it simpler: Somehow I’m getting the feeling how this might work and I also start to believe, but I think my main resistance comes from two fears: 1. That I might end up in the friendship-zone, 2. To get back together the other would have to “disappear” magically which is really hard for me to imagine, though I know that this shouldnt matter, but somehow I feel that I need to trick my mind into believing that these problems dont exist. So any hints regarding this would be very appreciated.
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Hi Steve! I understand why the sheer perception of another man is interfering with your manifestation process and making you focus on the current reality, if you will, continuing to confuse you a little. It’s normal but let’s discuss some new habits you can adopt in order to feel and believe that you and your wife have started over (or as I prefer to say, are now in a new relationship with each other).
It is important to give zero resistance to the current reality, this other person and your current situation. Forgiving both yourself and her for everything that happened, deciding not to be bothered about the current reality and that it doesn’t matter because you are getting what you want will make you stop focusing on it. You don’t have to be happy for this guy but don’t give the current reality any feelings and making peace with it before you move onto your new manifestation will be enough.
Then, ask for what you want. Focus on your relationship as you want it to be, as if it’s manifested already and be grateful for it. Be grateful for having gotten what you wanted and soon, this new awareness of being with your wife in a relationship that is better than ever will become a part of you. Think about what you want that relationship to be, what you want to give and receive from it, how you want to feel in it and it will start to feel real very soon.
Once you accept the current reality without giving it an emotional reaction, your fears will be gone. Even if thoughts of those fears come up, you will know they’re false and that your desire is real because you will believe in it and yourself 🙂 Think well of yourself, her and your relationship. Know that you deserve to have what you want!
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Hi Nina thanks for your reply it’s really encouraging…
I think the past is cleaned so far… But what’s coming to my mind is that I probably have to change my visualizations a bit, like I have the feeling that stuff like “She misses me…”/”She loves me” is focusing too much on the path than the ultimate goal… And this is acutally stuff that was already (partly) fulfilled with her contacting me and wanting to be friends forever and stuff like that – or am I seeing that in a wrong light? I now even discovered that after I put HIM out of the picture in my mind there was this week where he left her alone being sick while he was partying somewhere else…. Is this really how it is working? Do I just have to be consistent on that and focus more on the ultimate goal? :O :O Sounds too easy to be true… It’s crazy how our first meeting went really really well and that the second (which I asked for out of some despair because I’m going on holiday soon) was far more awkward and left me with much more desperation and fear…
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Hey Steve!
The manifestation of that guy being away from the girl is what you thought of. The thing is you never wanted it to happen this way. But still be grateful that your thoughts were answered.
In my case, I used to visualize my guy in a hall full of the same girl (I used to feel uncomfortable for), and imagining that my guys is looking at only me with love, with magic in his eyes like I am the one. When I came out of that visualization, I did feel that reality is something else… but it didn’t matter. I stole the feeling that I felt when he was looking at me even when that girl was there, and used that whenever I wanted that. I felt like a winner. and IT HAPPENED. Uni couldn’t replicate many girls in reality but the hall was certainly full of many beautiful girls and he looked at me like I was the one… he still does because I always visualize that love in his eyes.
Your thoughts become your reality.
It’s awesome!
Love and Light
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Thank you for that input! This sounds like a nice way of dealing with that situation… Maybe I was on the wrong track with trying to imagine there’s something wrong with him as it shouldnt be in my interest on focusing on the how but just focus on what I want…
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Never focus on him.
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That is SO beautiful, thank you for sharing! It’s amazing and I feel inspired ❤
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You’re generally focusing on her instead of yourself. What we believe is possible for us, we manifest so you see how believing that your relationship is possible once again simply because you want it will allow for manifestation to happen.
LoA is very easy actually, proven by the notion that in life, we always easily attract what we believe we can have easily. Those who believe it’s easy to attract jobs are always working. Those who are used to having money and know that it’s always coming to them have money indeed. The problem is that few people believe relationships are easy but once you do, they will be.
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Hi Nina! Just wanted to say that yesterday I also read your book which really gives some very useful insights and especially all the relationship stuff seems to exactly describe what I and probably many other people experience in this situation… Therefore I hope I am right in just seeing my end goal like “I’m back together with X” as my new reality then filling my mind with stuff like “She misses me…”/”She loves/likes me…” as these things would only be my idea of the path towards this goal (and would probably also lead to slightly different results than I expect, like just being friends etc…). Also having you say that all of this is not a bigger deal than anything else is very inspiring as it takes a lot of pressure away.
Right now I’, realizing that all the LoA is in fact not about *changing* your reality but about *choosing* one as changing it would require knowledge about how the change would happen.
I’m just curious now how all this stuff felt to you when you started practicing it? Like it’s a but the feeling of getting crazy when starting to live in different reality? And how successful have you been in the beginning?
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Thank you 🙂 You are right to see your end goal and even though you sometimes see the path to your end goal, such as “She misses me,” also see the details of your end goal in which you make each other happy and are living in your beautiful relationship. Be focused on your goal as if it’s yours already and feel good about it. Be happy now – happy about attracting your new reality and happy about everything you have in your life right now.
What I wrote in my other reply to you applies here – people see relationships as difficult but once you start to see them as easy and natural, you will attract them fast.
I started practicing when I was very young. My mom taught me the power of positive thinking. Here is a classic example – I manifested moving to another continent with my family when I was 14 years old. I just practiced and felt good. A few years ago, I sat down to research all LoA theory I could find which only brought me to the conclusion that too much theory prevents good practice and that one should always start from the KNOWING, like I always did, and that should be the first step in manifesting. I wanted to simply show others that good feelings are all they need in order to manifest and help them understand why exactly many get caught up in distracting behaviors that deflect their focus from their ultimate goal. I also always knew that feeling good about myself was the key to easy manifestation and have always been good at showing others how to feel good about themselves so I decided to keep that up 🙂
Out of curiosity, I even once turned to other LoA teachers when I wanted to figure out what kind of work I wanted to manifest that moment which was fun 🙂 I told them I was a beginner and let them advise me.
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Thanks for your useful inputs and taking your time… Maybe I’ll come back sometime with some more insights and questions! Maybe the ultimate visualization would be to imagine how you post your success story on your website 🙂
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Happy to help 🙂 Imagine posting the story if it makes you happy, great idea! 😀 And, you’re welcome to return anytime, we have a great community here full of amazing individuals and you will find much support and many manifesting tips from all of us.
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Thanks… One more thing… You quite often mention the importance of self-worth and when doing visualizations sometimes I discover that this is really a problem; though I could make a list of all my qualities and I find that really everything is good and I’d deserve it when trying to look at it in a non-emotional way there’s still just the *fear* of not being worthy or maybe even the fear of this fear coming up… So as you have a lot of reading material etc covering this topic maybe you can point me somewhere?
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Absolutely 🙂 Self confidence, self love, the sense of self worth and everything related makes manifestation effortless. Those who love themselves believe they deserve to see their desires manifest. They see themselves living their desires and that is the most natural feeling in the world. This is why my book basically says that self confidence equals manifestation, if you will.
In your specific case, this confidence needs to be present to allow you to believe that you can manifest a loving relationship with your specific person and be the one who makes her happy. In order to start, YOU must feel good about yourself and believe that you bring quality to your relationship as well as everything else in your life. Be the person you admire but your initial step must be to realize that you are good enough just the way you are. Then, you can think about the person you want to be, for yourself, generally feel good about yourself and believe you deserve to be in the relationship you want and bring happiness into your specific person’s life.
To start, focus on everything you like about yourself. Be grateful for all your qualities. Then, you will see yourself adopting even more qualities. Do what makes you happy – that is the way to contribute to the world and send love into it. Give, be generous because giving makes you feel like you have so much already instead of missing something. See yourself as a wonderful person and do the things that make you feel like one. Things will progress from there.
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Actually I’ve gotten curious if you had success in similar situations and if yes how they manifested? Like did they take an unusual path you never would have expected?
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Only in the sense that it went even better than I expected.
If you’ve asking have I manifested people who were dating others at the time, yes.
When I entertained some other relationship manifestation that I had not felt great about, I changed my mind. Sometimes, I wanted to be with someone at first only to realize I would rather have them as a friend after it started.
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Hi nina…
U know wat… i m so happy today. I have got my prince charm … my boyfriend back… thank you for ur superb article… now i jst want to make my relation loveable… but he is still indulge with dat girl.. i m founding him changed.. not as before… plz guide me on same. Else… he is not confused but because he is in relation with some1 else he is commiting me.. where as his parents are sure regarding me. Bt my father is still nt agreed .. plz help me… for the same
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Nina…. i m waiting 4 ur reply…. lightline… r u there…
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Yes, I am here and so happy for you. CHeering for you and others. ❤
Much love and light to you.
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Me, too!! And, I replied 😉
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Think about how you want things to be and write it down – it’ll help your focus and it’ll be enough 🙂 You’ll stop focusing on the current reality and nurture your ideal one.
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Hi nina….
Plz help me… my boy has seems to be change.. he is not sure 4 anything …. he is not talking to like he was before… i want my relation to be more loveable.. how to solve dese issues… i want him to luv me as before… i m getting upset. He is not giving me priority as before. Wat should i do… i was visulizing to having a live in relation ship with him bt… things r changing i m loosing my job. Again coz of health issues. Wat should feeling like i m going in same stage.
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You have to put your attention to the relationship as you want it to be – lovable 🙂 Instead of seeing what it, decide what you want it to be and focus on that. As long as your current reality upsets you, you cannot manifest a better one. Make peace with what is and trust that it’ll be as you want it to be. Use that same principle for health and anything else you want to manifest xx
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Thankew nina for ur response…
Nina should i change his nature also towards me… i mean … is dat possible he luv me … talks 2 me like we were before in our relation …
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You’ll be changing the nature of your relationship, not his nature, because him being good to you is the nature of the RELATIONSHIP which means you must see the relationship as you want it to be. How do you want things to be between you two? Focus on that.
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Hi nina…. bt i m nt getting y dis is happening to me… means he accepts everything.. bt again… we r not in touch with eachother…dese distance killing my relation.. y dat girl is still in his lyf . He told me… he is trying to change.. atleast he is not avoiding me.. nor.. fighting with me.. bt y my relation is facing such difficulties.
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Hi nina….
Nina i dnt want to force him to come in relation with me.. again he is avoiding me . He is saying he is changed coz now he dnt like to talk with any1 . I m d only 1 who used to talk with him call him.. or anything … negativity comes along with d same. Wat should i do.. i luv him.. i need his happiness too bt i m nt getting how to start once again … how we will be together.
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You will be together when you believe and visualize what you want instead of seeing what is. You have to feel good about this relationship. You can do this!
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Hi Nina,
I have been apart from my ex for a month now, I miss him a lot, but we are different in many ways and I can only keep thinking of all the hurtful things he said when we broke up.
How can I manifest my ex back in my life?
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Hi Olivia 🙂 To start, it is important to forgive both yourself and your ex for your painful past so you can stop focusing on it and focus on the reality as you want it to be instead 🙂 Once you decide to start over, the past doesn’t matter anymore anyway. Nobody’s perfect. Just think about the love you have for him, love yourself and think about your relationship with him as you want it to be – that is the essence of manifestation, in addition to knowing that what you want is yours and that your ideal reality is a done deal already.
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Does letting go require practicing the Law of Detachment? I’ve been mainfesting my relationship be restored with my ex for the past four months and we are now at the point where we don’t talk at all and it’s sad but I feel detach almost. I have faith in God and I have faith my prayers will be answered but I wish we were back together now. I feel like now is not the time that’s why it hasn’t happen yet. It would be great to speak to God and get direct answers
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Detachment means being OK with what is, without resisting it, and knowing that your desire will come to you. If your current circumstances make you sad, your attachment to your desire could grow so pay no attention to the current circumstances but just focus on your faith and do the things you enjoy doing now so that you can be grateful for everything you have 🙂
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Hi Nina.
Ever since I last wrote, I have only managed to get 2 text messages from him. I have been reading a lot of articles on LOA and I read one that says that you should expect a reply from the universe and act as if you were already living your manifestation.
Also, I have asked the universe to give me signs. One was seeing a car like his in a particular color, and I did receive it, but then I asked for another sign and I have not received it.
I keep having negative thoughts about him and asking myself if it’s really worth it.
I don’t know what else to do.
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If you’re asking yourself whether or not it’s all worth it, decide if this is really what you want. Maybe you don’t believe it will actually make you happy but if you do, only think about your relationship as you would like it to be and be sure that it will manifest 🙂 Don’t “do,” just relax and believe xx
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Hi Nina,
Now we are on texting terms because I reached out to him. I want him back and I love him. But my biggest fear is that he won’t commit to the relationship.
I have to ask, what is the difference between manifesting and daydreaming? Because it seems that I only do the latter.
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Manifesting includes knowing that you’re going to get what you want before you get it or just knowing that it is possible. And then, it manifests. When you visualize before manifestation, you feel it as if it were real and happening already.
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Hi Nina,
Since finding your site I feel profoundly better. I have some questions though. The first 2 days I started practicing LoA, I had good dreams about my boyfriend, but since I haven’t had any dreams. Also, my ex boyfriend (not the one I want to attract) is still in the picture, although I am not happy with him. Will him being around stop my manifestation or slow it down?
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Hi again 🙂 Simple as it sounds, being happy about your ideal reality and just swimming in those positive feelings will solve your current reality. The love for one’s ideal reality seamlessly solves every dilemma in the current. So, if you are just happy knowing that your ideal reality is yours without worrying about the how part, you will know that everything will resolve itself and the ideas of how to do so will come to you in moments. So, if your current person makes you happy, stay for as long as happiness lasts. If he doesn’t, leave the situation not for the ex you want to manifest but for yourself because adding to your own good feelings is what benefits your existence.
Keeping anything that makes you unhappy in your life definitely slows your manifestations down. Your happiness must come first 🙂 xx
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Hi Nina,
I have read through this whole page and I am really hoping you will be able to help me. Years ago I met this guy, who was an acquaintance of my then boyfriend. We talked a lot immediately on the internet and we just clicked. I cannot really tell, but on the first occasion we talked, I had a feeling, he would be the one. I dismissed it, because I had a boyfriend then – and in the subsequent few years as well. We had a very strange relationship. He found a girlfriend he was with for two years. During these years my boyfriend and I split up and ended back together, but none of our relationships really worked out – however we were always there for each other with this guy through think and thin. Two years ago, my relationship with my boyfriend ended after 10 years, and with this guy we got close on every party we attended. We always ended up in each others` arms and always ended up kissing. There was just some sort of chemistry between us that never wanted to pass. But we did not get together because of our history. One time we were very close, almost dating, which he ended saying, he has a feeling that this is great what we have between us, but he wants something new. A clean slate. Against this, we ended up sleeping together last new year`s – we didn`t have sex because he did not want to hurt me. We, then, decided we needed to separate so as to avoid hurting. Ina couple of months time, we were talking again like the best of friends, but the chemistry remained. We ended up not talking again after some time – he found another girl to talk to which seemed easier at the time for him. But as she started to badmouth me, he lost interest in her. Two months down the line and we ended up at a company party where he would not want to let me go and wanted to talk to me, he told me how his life was meaningless without me. We ended up kissing and he said later that night he would have come up to my place had I wanted to. We, then, started something like friends with benefits, where I was always on the edge, always trying to please him, always bing afraid of losing him and never being enough. We got intimate, and it was actually like I had pictured it earlier. As Christmas passed, I felt incredibly sad because he just wouldn`t want to make us official so I ended it in January. I was adamant that I wouldn`t want to continue like this – only if he accepted me in a different shape. He came around and said he would change his ways and the way he was thinking, that he would try to let go of fear of a relationship and that he was willing to change. So we started a new relationship, but I always had a fear that he is not giving his all – that he is waiting for the new girl while being with me. Needless to say, I manifested a new girl into our life. This couple of months were very hard. He looked for a new job for months and then when he got it, he was struggling at the new place to make a good impression. And he wasn`t getting the positive feedback he was used to. I sensed he would need to do something to get his ego back in shape – I knew he would flirt with girls. And it happened.
All these years I had a fear – and the knowledge- that he would eventually go with a new one. But all these years, I had a feeling, that the two of us could only get a clean slate if he indeed got this new – and found that after infatuation it just wasn`t everything he wanted this to be. I used to say, he would find a girl and he would dress her up as a Christmas tree only to realize in the end that she was more of what he idealized than reality. And this experience would bring us back together – this would make him finally appreciate the person I was to him, the knowledge that the new is just not that.
He is now dating this girl, a dentist, he met mid June. I broke up with him 6 weeks ago when I found he kissed a coworker at a party and that he entertained conversation with this dentist for a month then.
I knew he would go that he would need to discover something before understanding the gravity of our relationship. Still, I am afraid he would not return. I pushed him away consciously – so that we could get a clean slate down the line. So that he can get what he wanted and be disappointed – and so that I have time to renew myself.
Please can you advise what I should be doing to make the rest of my belief a reality? That he would return indeed and that we could finally appreciate each other like we should – after the new perspective? In my head I see ourselves meeting by accident, smiling at each other and know in my heart of hearts that that moment would be -the ultimate change-.
Still, sometimes I am sad she is with this new girl, that she might be making him happy and scared that she would end up with him. I am actually torn between fear and thinking: `good, this is what I wanted and finally this has come, we are one step closer to our clean slate which we never could achieve before, because we prolonged our friendship and never could detach enough to start a fresh`.I have been trying to work on myself in these past weeks to regain my confidence, and I have been doing pretty well I must say. I have found out what I would like to do in my life and have come to realize steps I need to be taking to reach happiness in my work. But I would really like my love to return. I know, deep down, he is the one.
Can you give me some perspective, and hope and rational? How can I manifest him back – with a whole new look on us? With a whole new appreciation for us? Thank you inifinitely for your reply.
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Hi June 🙂 What I see here is that you like the chase as much as you like being with him. Your entire history with him is full of ups and downs which is why you have gotten used to it and seem to be attracting these situations by default. This isn’t uncommon – you just need to change your habits.
I suggest that you practice visualization of your relationship as you want it to be and if you start to worry about the present, redirect your thoughts. Forgive both yourself and him for the past and decide to start anew. You can be with him and you can be happy together if you can imagine what that feels like 🙂 You can do this!
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Hi Nina,
thanks so much for coming back to me. I do not mean to sound negative – It`s just a very very new situation to me. We do not work at the same place anymore, we haven`t met since the breakup. And he has found the `ultimate` new person.
Is it possible to re-attract him from this distance of virtually not talking/not seeing each other? I feel as though I was in his hands – he would reach out if that relationship fails.
While I do not want entirely to depend on this factor, I want my reality and happiness to materialize finally. Everything has happened as I thought/feared so far… I just so badly need confidence that the end would be as I pictured, too.
But I fear his ego would stop him in returning and it would tell him to stay where he is, because that is what he decided. Or should I just erase all these thoughts and have an ultimate belief that he would realize the importance of whatever we had and that he is able to overcome his ego?
Nowadays I have an increasing feeling that he is missing me. And whenever I feel I am missing him, I am trying to twist it the other way and tell myself, `no, he is missing you now, you are okay`. I have a gut feeling that if we just by accident met any day, and I could just smile at him reassuringly, the whole world would change.
And every day I get up, dress up like I was anticipating to see him. I wish I could manifest that positive meeting so that he could see how much better I am feeling now that my soul had rested.
Can I re-attract him if he is so far away with someone else?
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You can attract him no matter what if you believe. Don’t worry about that part but you have to know that this is yours because we all manifest the things/lives we believe to be possible for us. You will get used to believing before seeing – that is what LoA is about.
Think about your relationship with him as you want it to be, as if it’s yours already, and be grateful for it. Be happy now, with your life as it is, so that you could manifest the life you want. Ignore the current reality.
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Sorry if my questions sound silly, I am new to LOA.. I mean, i feel like I have unconsciously manifested an incredible amount of thoughts into the world. I just need to reassure myself that I can manifest the positive as well.. consciously. But for that I guess I should be believing that I am indeed his best option and that we are destined to be together – no need for any fear any more?
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It’s not silly at all. In fact, you identified your focus very well and you can now focus on what you want and manifest.
You can adopt that belief, exactly as you described.
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My story…Met my, I believe twinflame, last year. Everything fell into place, I came home, after a few years of turmoil (losing both grandmother and mother, feeling lonely, not happy with work and a lot more.) Few months before we met, things got better, nicer work, better friends, overall better.
She came and it hit. From day 1 we were very much in love, lot of feeling, nothing I experienced before in my life. We grew strong together. 11 months later, after a marvelous trip to Spain, she ended the relationship 2 days later. Totally flabbergasted, because I thought we were really doing great, everything was there, passion, love, same future perspective. Reason was she needed to work on herself and couldn’t do this in a relationship. I fell back on some old habits of controlling and anger. We fought a week later and she made me get my stuff. No contact since.
About a month further now, I send her a letter, but no response. I really want to fix this. At least show her what it is worth and that is is worth fighting for.
I do think, and knowing her as far as I do, that she still has strong feelings, but i screwed up royally with the fight a week after break-up…Any ideas on how to handle this?
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Hello and welcome 🙂 Right now, your awareness is in the fight and thinking that things might be ruined but what you want to do here is visualize or remember the two of you as you want your relationship to be. If you only lovingly remembered how things used to be back when they were great, you would attract the same again because we get what we focus on and remembering would evoke positive feelings in you. You can either use the remembering of the good times or imagine it anew in order to create it in your life again 🙂 Focusing on the two of you doing great instead of being out of touch will create your relationship accordingly.
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Small update: Today she texted me with sort of a final text. That she forgave me, and wanted peace an quiet. Only to immediately block me after. Right now there’s too much doubt and negativity I think to start using LOA on this matter. Too much sadness and grief at this time.
Will start to try when I feel better again.
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Good idea, you must feel good again. Find happiness in life again, find your confidence and you’ll manifest love with her after that.
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Thanks Nina!
I got dumped yesterday morning but I already feel better!! I feel like I can feel his energy –he’s upset but he still cares about me and still likes me a lot so I know he’ll get over this soon and he’ll be looking for me. He ended things because he felt pressured to always reply to my text messages. It’s such a small thing to end a relationship over but that’s even more reason why I think he’ll be back. I sent him a very warm and understanding response saying that I want him to do what ever makes him happy because I care about him, I apologized for my actions and thanked him. He didn’t reply but I know that made him think. How can you genuinely stay mad at someone who says that to you? You can’t! So he’ll be back! Also, I am willing to let go and maybe date other men. Not right now, I just want to get my self back in order but I will eventually open myself to the love of others to see what else the universe has in store. I’d prefer it be my love but if someone better is out there then I’d gladly take that love to. To be honest, I got nervous and sabotaged because everything I wanted was finally happening! I made a vision board last year and got everything on there! I got my dream apartment, my dream job, I increased my salary, and I got the man. Then I panicked and became fearful of losing everything because everything seemed to be too good to be true…all the sudden, I had problems at my new job, I had financial issues, almost lost my apartment, and I now lost my man. I know I created these problems but I also know that I can create the solutions. I now have my apartment secured, my job is getting better, my finances are ok, and the last piece to fix is my love. I know I can win him back. He loves me and I love him. We are happy together despite the issues and the issues are smaller than our love. Every second I feel him getting closer, even if he doesn’t text or call, I know he’s getting closer to me. Tomorrow I will meditate, exercise, read books and do everything to keep me happy and calm until he contacts me.
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Keep us posted! 🙂
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That is an amazing attitude!! Very well done 😀
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Hi Nina!
I’ve been studying loa for a while but lately I’ve been having a little bit of a negative rough patch. I was in a terrible relationship for 8 years on and off with the father of my daughter. It mentally screwed me up and I used to cry and pray to the universe to send me someone so special and one day I met him, out of the blue and we had this instant connection. We were on and off for about a year. He’s amazing, everything I was looking for in a man he was and I didn’t realize what I had until i didn’t have it anymore. I sabotaged the whole relationship out of fear. Recently we started hooking up, as we’ve never really stayed away from each other for too long, but bc he didn’t think I was serious about him and didn’t trust my intent he was also seeing someone else. We got into a huge argument where I told him I never wanted to see or talk to him again. Of course I didn’t mean it but I was so hurt. My problem is that I work down the road from where he lives, so I pass his house everyday. He also has his own landscaping business and he mows right next to my work, last week I saw him but I pretended he didn’t even exist, and it lowered my positive vibration. What is the right way to go about this? I’m usually very good at visualizing and I’m trying my best to stay positive. I’ve accepted the situation as is and I try not to give much thought about it. I even forgave myself bc I know that was the path I was meant to travel, so that I can appreciate and understand good love. I know deep down that our story isn’t over and that we will connect again when the time is right, but how do I keep my vibration up when and if I do see him and things aren’t where they’re meant to be yet?
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Right now, you are still noticing that things aren’t what you want them to be and I only suggest asking for what you want, visualizing having it right now and knowing it is yours. Then, you will stop paying attention to the current reality 🙂 Imagine this – it will make you feel better! Get creative and imagine what it’s like to be happy, imagine what you WANT to have right now 🙂
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Hi. I’ve been reading all the post and comments here. I have a similar situation can you use the loa to bring back someone who is commtied to someone else? A FEW MONTHS BACK I MET AND FELL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE I TRULY BELIEVE AND STILL BELIEVE HE STILL CARES FOR ME. THE SITUATION ENDED VERY BAD HE SAID VERY HURTFUL THINGS TO ME BUT I KNOW DEEP DOWN HE DID NOT MEAN IT. IT’S BEEN MONTHS SINCE I’VE SEEN OR SPOKEN TO HIM SEEMS AS THOUGH HE HAS MOVED ON WITH HIS LIFE. BUT A STRANG PART OF ME KNOWS AND FEELS HE STILL CARES FOR ME AND IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HE REACHES OUT TO ME. WHY DO I STILL FEEL LIKE THIS. HE ONCE TOLD ME HE WAS MEANT TO MEET ME HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN DRAWN TO ME. IS IT STILL POSSIBLE TO MANFIEST HIM BACK INTO MY LIFE. HE STILL HOLDS MY HEART I LOVE HIM AND I’M LEARNING TO JUST WISH HIM PURE HAPPINESS IN LIFE BUT I WANT TO BE THE ONE TO FULFILL HIS LIFE WITH HAPPINESS. BUT HE IS BACK IN HIS SITUATION WHICH HE ONCE LEFT IT ALL FOR ,
I SEND HIM LOVE AND HAPPINESS EVERYDAY AND HOPE THINGS GETS BETTER FOR HIM. I’VE ASKED THE UNIVERSE TO REUNITE US OR SOMEHOW BRING HI, BACK INTO MY LIFE. SOMETIMES I FEEL AS THOUGH I RECEIVE SIGNS. I ASK THE UNIVERSE FOR HIM EVERYDAY.
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Hi there,
As simple as this sounds, focus on you, your happiness, your joy your purpose. Over time as you resonate in higher energies, the inspiration will come. The journey of life will open doors for you that you least expect.
Forgive him, love him unconditionally. Meaning love whether you will have him again or not. Don’t make your love dependant on having him physically in your life. Live life joyfully without him, date again! Find new love and he’ll coming running back to you.
If you haven’t already, read this awesome blog post and she offers an additional post as well on the same topic:
https://smalllifeslowlife.com/2013/06/02/small-life-slow-life-how-i-got-my-ex-back-seriously/comment-page-1/#comments
Check out the comments, and start applying in your life the things she suggests. The sooner you move forward on this topic, the sooner you can start to experience shifts and move in a direction of where you want to be.
Oh and if you haven’t yet, read Nina’s book.
And don’t forget to love yourself in the way you want him to love you. That will attract more of this kind of love in your life. Whether it’s from him or not. Don’t give up, and believe you can do this, because you can. We all can.
Lots of love. 🙂
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It’s possible but instead of asking all the time, you will manifest if you focus on the gratitude for it being yours, for your relationship being a done deal. Be grateful for having it now. Believe it’s possible.
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Hi nina…
Thank u thanku… thanku… for dis awesom post.. for being dere to answer my questions… thank u.. universe 4 everything..
Nina , lightline, i want 2 tell u… i won… yipeee..
My boy proposed mE.. n came back.. i wanna tell u.. i have got each n everything as i imagined.. ask n belive.. superb … loads of luv n light to u… i m happy ..i have cross almost all of my hurdles.. thank u for answering my question patiently.. u r doing a great wrk.. some of things are still left dat i want.. like my fathers permission on our marriage , my financial condition to improve bt i know i can do it now…
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Congratulations Kshama! That is amazing news and I’m so happy for you 🙂 Which of Nina’s recommendations and techniques did you feel helped you the most ?
So happy to read this today 🙂
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I love it! 😀
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OMG! Congratulations!!! So good to see happy news! It is inspiring!!! I’m really happy for you! Please, if you could share with us how did you do it, it would be awesome!
That’s what I needed to read today! And I’m sure you’ll get everything else you want! 😀
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Dear Kshama,
I cannot tell you how proud I am of you!! Congrats!! 😀 I am so thrilled! Thank you for letting us all know xxxx
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Hi…
Ya sure… i imagined d things as i want in my relation as nina suggested me.. Though i get negative thoughts bt i used to write my affirmations constantly try to keep my self bsy in things i luv…
I imagined dat i want to celebrate his bday with him alone in his place … n i too ask universe dat i want him to call me… n xactly i got all d things same.. one thing more… i asked all dese things wen he is avoiding me .. bt all my imagination come true.
Everything is possible.. we jst have to keep gud vibrations … gud feelings .. positive attitude. With ourselves, love n happy all time..
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Thank you so much Kshama! This is really great! I’m a bit down because my girl and I are separated and there’s this “new guy” dating her, so I’m pretty jealous. I’m doing my best to keep busy and happy about myself and I’m sure I’ll get my relationship back with her. Thank you for your answer! 🙂
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What a great answer and you can do this, too! 😀
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Thank you for your answer, Kshama! It was really helpful! 🙂
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Yes!!!!! 😀 😀 Amazing!!!!!!!!! 😀
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Hii..
I can understand ur feeling .. trust me .. trust dis loa .. jst focus on ur imagination.. ur willpower ur love towards ur luv n how u want… write d affirmations n jst be happy …i m sure u can do it… luv n light 2 u…
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Hi Kshama 🙂
I’m so glad that you were able to manifest your desire using the loa and congratulations on your engagement :-). A lot of people still don’t believe in the loa and say that faith will only make you wait for your lover or other wishes forever. You say that you had a lot of ups and downs during your manifestation, how did you overcome that? And my ex lives in another country and blocked me. What type of affirmations would you suggest I use?
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