Confusions in a Paradigm Shift

9 thoughts on “Confusions in a Paradigm Shift”

  1. Hey there,

    I look to your blog for inspiration and I can always find it there. Lately I have felt stuck, for lack of a better word. I know that that labeling that feeling as such can only bring more, but knowing that and still a avoiding it is hard right now. I haven’t felt this way in a long time and it frustrates and scares me. I’ve told you that I have felt the amazing magic that feeling good and feeling love generates. But lately my subconscious mind is negative and I am having a hard time getting out of it. I have spent a lot of time looking at my desires from a feeling of gratitude and love and really decided that I know what I want. I want a life where I am healthy, happy, confident, financially set, in love with my line of work and also in love and in a happy relationship with my specific person. Those are written in random order, all of equal importance in my “dream life.” As I have said before, I have trouble believing that I can be in a relationship with my specific person. We have a history together. I know there is love there, but there is also some baggage. I know what you might say here: the past is the past, it doesn’t matter. Only what I believe now to be true is what is important. My programmed way of thinking (which I try to change) is that my specific person has free will and has decided to move on, making our dream relationship impossible. I don’t like how negative my words sound right now and I am sorry for that. I guess I’m looking for some real support here because you seem to think that anything is possible. We are all different and from what you shared, I don’t see that you have had any experience similar to mine that you felt was worth talking about. Wanting a great relationship with someone who you have shared hard times with. I really want to know that anything is possible. I have this nagging feeling that it is time to move on. When I think of that, I feel it in my heart that this is the person I want to share my life with and the thought of giving up on that dream is something I will regret. It would almost be unfair to me if that makes sense. I want to share my happiness with her. How can I begin to work myself out of this funk and back onto the road of unlimited possibilities? You have said it before in your responses and posts, but I was hoping you could offer some more words of encouragement 🙂 I am grateful for your guidance!


    1. Dear AJ,
      You definitely understand the problem you have which is having to reprogram your current thoughts. Also, you are right about this – I have never wanted to work things out with someone I’d had a difficult past with. I was mostly the one to walk away from my relationships but let’s look at it from the other side because I believe that it is essential we analyze it from both perspectives in order to reach the answer.
      None of my exes got me back because they didn’t know what to do. In my relationships, I was the leader, the stronger personality but also, a more powerful energy. I knew exactly who I was. When I would tell them how unhappy I was with them, they let me be because no one wants to be the reason of another person’s misery or feel inadequate. My determination to leave left few trying to change my mind and those who had made all the mistakes in the book.
      When wishing to get someone back, nothing short of a profound change makes a difference. A change in happiness, a change in energy, even in life. However, the practice that makes this idea work is contradictory to what most people think it works, as it consists of taking care of and focusing on yourself instead of your ex. This is the Law of Attraction at work in your life – it’s always about YOU and how you feel about what you deserve, what you have, what you want, what comes natural to you and how being with someone makes you feel (this is why I rarely stayed in a relationship for too long – I would feel suffocated, bored and unable to see myself wanting to be that closely involved with someone I wasn’t impressed with). However, what could they have done right to change it? They could have dealt with and improved themselves instead of trying to tell me why I was wrong to leave, which only pushes someone further away (I know that’s not what you’re doing, it’s just what happened to me). Seeing that someone is an entirely new man, that they were able to be happy without me, that their own lives were most important to them, that they had a sense of self-confidence and self-value, THAT would have made a difference. At the same time, you have to want to be the best person you can for yourself, not for your ex. You have to be genuinely happy, otherwise the reconciliation will not last, if it should happen in the first place.
      The Law of Attraction is always about the person manifesting, not the person they are manifesting a relationship with. If someone should want to be with you yet they bent over backwards, showing you that their life was meaningless without you, is that the kind of energy you would be attracted to? Definitely not. Men and women are attracted to different things but some basic energy principles work for all of us.
      The process part also bothers you in a way, as you are wondering how and why your ex could experience a change of heart and wish to be in a relationship with you again. But it will be your feelings of love generated within you for both your ex and your newly created relationship in your mind that will attract it into your life. Law of Attraction is actually easier than many perceive, as everything there is to do consist of the creation within you. How do you feel when imagining this – you have showed value to yourself and the world, feeling happy in your life, knowing you had the ability to make your ex happier than ever and as a result, you have gotten back together? Feels wonderful, right? You have brought out the best in yourself and your ex responded. That is exactly how it could happen in life. Right now, you feel that you’re not the best thing that could happen to your ex but what if you did? What if you TRULY believed you were meant to make her the happiest she’s ever been? Once you deeply believe you can do that and be with her, you will be. You can do this. All of us CAN do this. It’s simply a matter of choice 🙂


      1. I stumbled across your blog about a week ago and I believe I found it for a reason.
        Thank you for this post, especially for your reply to AJ. Given a short amount of time to focus I always manifest money and jobs easily, however manifesting my ex has been troubling. I have given up a few times and this is the first time I’ve considered knowing that I’m the best for him. I know that a combination of energies, his and my fear and his mother’s fear of our relationship changed everything but only because we were all vibrating on the same level towards the same end.
        Thank you for taking the time to break this down. It’s helpful.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hey Nina,

        Thanks for your response. It’s really nice to feel that someone is willing to share their support and spend time to express it. 🙂

        When I make the effort to slow down and quiet my mind and can connect to my inner being or self or conscious or however we choose to define it, this whole concept is pretty crazy (in a good way)! To know that I create my life and I can have anything I desire is comforting. There are times when deep down I KNOW that I am in charge of my destiny and I trust that I can live the life that I want. There are times where my past beliefs pop up and get in the way, but I also know that the same way I created these beliefs, I can create new ones. And I know that this applies to every area of my life, not just my relationship dreams… but to every part of my life 🙂

        It’s so comforting to feel this trust with the universe and know we are all connected. I have no doubt that I manifested coming across your blog and receiving your support and advice. And I know that I can manifest the belief that I can work through any doubt and any limiting belief and any less than bright moment to attract everything I want.

        I wanted to say thanks again! I can’t describe what it’s like to feel the great energy. I know I don’t have to describe it, but I want to share it with everyone 😉

        I am relaxing when it comes to thinking about my specific person. The second I catch myself going into past habits and thinking negatively about us, I immediately substitute a positive thought and reaffirm my trust in the universe. It’s a process (a fun process) and I truly believe it’s necessary to do this type of “work” to build my faith in myself. I want to reiterate that it’s not hard work, just necessary reprogramming. I want to share that with your readers 🙂 If we want things to change, we have to change some things about ourselves. Not for anyone else, but for US. And the relationship I envision involves the best version of me that I can be. Not for her, but for me, and my best me is also a great partner to her.

        I could go on and on about how awesome this all can be, but you have said it all already. Thanks again!

        Hope you are well!


        Liked by 1 person

      3. Dear AJ,
        Thank you so much for taking the time to share all of this! These are absolutely brilliant insights and I agree with you completely! 😀 Making a change for ourselves is so rewarding; it is a beautiful and an immensely loving process. One radiates love when connecting with themselves in this way and is able to love others in an entirely new way. Thank you again, this is tremendously inspiring! 😀 Lots of love!


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