Don’t NEED Them to Go Away And… They Will

When it comes to manifesting, we often talk about removing the need for our desires. Don’t need your relationship and it will appear. Don’t need a job but feel employed instead and you will be. Don’t need money and feel rich and then, you will be.

Sound familiar?

Many battle their negative thoughts by trying to ignore them or openly resisting them, creating even more of the same instead of eliminating them. These negative thoughts never manifest in their original form but effectively lower one’s vibration regardless, slowing down one’s manifestation process.


What if, instead of feeling the need to get rid of your negative thoughts, you stopped needing to get rid of them? What if you could be happy and manifest regardless of them? It is not the negative thoughts themselves but paying attention to them that creates resistance; if you removed the need to get rid of them, you would not be bothered by them.

What do you think?

Personally, I believe negative thoughts to be useful. I’ve said it before but I truly believe them to be a great indicator of one’s specific areas of resistance. Negative thoughts say something about you, not your desire – they are an indicator of the negative, limiting views you hold of yourself. An empty fear that your desire might go wrong does NOT mean it will but you will lower your vibration and create even more empty fear for yourself… And that fear will make you exhausted and mentally distant from your desired reality.

Removing your negative thoughts but not replacing them with the positive ones doesn’t mean you’ve stepped into your desired awareness. This is why you can reach your desired state of awareness just by focusing on what you want to live, your positive thoughts, which would soon push out all the negative ones out of your awareness.

Occasionally, negative thoughts arrive because minds crave drama. Many are simply used to it. They try to add excitement to their desires yet drama creates safety in them at the same time. One may even try to use that drama, that excitement, to add any kind of emotion to one’s desire hoping for faster manifestation which leads to frustration. Love and excitement are two separate feelings, the former often being very permanent and the latter usually fading after a while, at least in several different ways.

Stop feeling guilty for not being intensely excited about your desire 24/7. You do need other things in life besides it.

Dissecting every single emotion and negative thought we might have would take a long time so instead, look at the general themes of your negative thoughts. What specific fears do they indicate? They show how you feel about yourself. They show what you fear. However, instead of continuing to fear, accept that you are now creating something new – the happiest reality you’ve ever lived. Decide it will be so.

If you start to feel exhausted from all your negative thoughts, remember that you have decided to have your dream come true reality and therefore, you must receive it. Just think about your ideal reality and enjoy the happiness it brings you. Feel gratitude for your desire, believe it is yours and in just a few days, you will know that it belongs to you unconditionally. 

Instead of focusing on your negative thoughts, you could only focus on what’s in your heart and manifest it.


  1. Hi Nina!

    Always on point.
    I just wrote my friend “Damn, I NEED a beat, I am so out of inspiration”. Well, I should see this from a different perspective.
    Okay, so I want to put out this album, it’s a certain genre. I am currently not that well-skilled to make the beats for it, and it’s also very hard to find really good beats for that genre. I also have some songs already in store, but they are all very demo-ish, and I am having a hard time finishing them, because sometimes I think I am not good enough.
    However I really want to put out this album and seek further collaborations. What do you suggest me? Especially in finding good producer, even though I don’t really have many songs for them to listen to and build their opinion on that.

    Also the relationship thing, I do not think about the relationship itself these days but focus on how much I love her and just how good it feels, I feel slowly getting reconnected. But it’s a process that kinda feels slightly more with everytime, but just a bit. Am I on the right way?

    Thanks so much for you advices and your blog posts, can’t express what an enrichment for my life they are 🙂


    1. I suggest that you put more heart and with that, heart energy, into your own work. When you see it as good enough, others will, too. When you love it, others will, too 🙂 I know you now believe that all of this is generating slow progress but once you believe that your music is exactly what you want it to be, you will put in the love and the work necessary to obtain it. Your imagination has to be “open to anything” here, your confidence high and your love for your music present. What you believe about it, others will, too.
      Think of this as a specific feelings producing tool – how do YOU want to feel when you listen to the final versions of your songs? Do you want to remember all the amazing people you worked with who contributed to the final mix being absolutely amazing and professional? Do you want to feel impressed? Do you want to feel confident that they will emotionally reach many people? Do you want to feel accomplished and fulfilled? Once you locate WHAT you want to feel when hearing your songs, you will be able to produce them that way. That’s literally creating with feelings 🙂 Be ready for success! When you truly want something, you can become ready for it.
      Thank you so much for your amazing words! I am so thrilled to hear xx


  2. I am looking so forward to share my amazing album here, if that’s okay 🙂

    And duh, I got my new mac book today, and it has this face recognition when you add picture, you know what I mean? So I basically just put in all my old pictures, also with her. I already added some faces, but it was pretty accurate so far (so scary!), anyways now I’m in the middle of adding MY face… And i must say I already unchecked at least 100 pictures, because Apple thought i am her.
    I feel actually kind of happy, not just because I see those lovely pictures, but also because we must be very similar (I must say here that she is asian, i am white!) Suddenly I feel so connected to my heart energy. Is that the universe helping me to get in alignment with it? 🙂
    If so I love it haha

    I was actually wondering, if you visualize people writing and saying “i love your posts”, do you?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Please do! 😀
      It was your own thoughts and awareness that started to change so the Universe is responding with these great indicators! As you continue to feel that you are together now, things will continue to happen, from signs and on. Just continue to feel that you have it already and feel gratitude for it 🙂
      I was thinking abt manifesting a new tablet, an even lighter and more convenient laptop (I already got an 11 inch screen which is easy to carry around and also does face recognition haha) or an iPad and you just mentioned your new MacBook so thank you for that sign! 😀
      I used to see people writing that they love my posts but I guess I got used to it soon. I wanted to start with this blog, write a book and gain followers who would genuinely benefit from the information shared here which is one of the reasons we all communicate so much 🙂 I’ve been writing all my life and already in middle school, was published in literary magazines and did readings of my work. However, that was poetry and when it came to LoA writing, I wanted to feel even better abt it and for it to be received even better. When I started this blog a year ago, I said that for the first year, I would just write without adversiting it much, genuinely share this personal information and trusted that the people who need and like it would find it. I visualized people saying they loved it and that it helped them so now, I am used to it like I was with my poetry 🙂


  3. This time I will manifest this relationship. I choose to go for it whatever may come and however it comes to me. There is so much love for this girl in me. I just realized that looking at our pictures, and I am actually glad to grow from all of this, I probably wouldn’t have. It’s all about feelings, I hear that over and over again, and yes it’s so true. I dunno I just felt my heart opening and felt super connected. I am open for even more amazing things. If it already feels like that, I am so looking forward to hold her in my arms again, I probably get a heart attack haha
    It was really time for me to invest into that, as I want to go further and deeper into making music. I’m more than glad I am your sign haha
    Doesn’t that mean we are on a similar vibration?

    So it became your belief? I dont want to ask how long it took you, since this is very individual, but did you feel the shift? And how so?


    1. When I started the blog, it took me a little over two months to really believe that it is great and helpful and when my vibration shifted, I also manifested a year-long job teaching very unique elective seminars at a university. Those were also helpful to people as well as unique which gives me an easy way to explain different vibrations.
      We’re both on the same vibration when it comes to our exact type of communication and that relationship or type of exchange IS the mutual vibration. This is why you were also able to give me the macbook sign. You are on the same vibration with your friends in terms of your FRIENDSHIP, see what I mean? 😀 This tells you something important – when you manifest your relationship, you will have reached the vibration of being in a relationship with HER 😀 That’s why you have to visualize and feel the relationship, to get on the vibration of that relationship! You can do this!


  4. I’m pretty sure you have way more readers than you think. I am actually one of those people who read a lot but NEVER comment.

    So my friend saying “What if you manifest both your relationship and your music together?” could probably be right?
    I must say it’s the first time that I believe your” You can do this” .
    Yes I believe I can.
    Thank you Nina, really.
    I have another question though. I previously got quite lets say emotional about this. However I realized its a quite happy feeling? If that makes sense. Have you ever experienced that you felt so overwhelmed that you came to tears, yet you felt happy?

    Btw. I also had some other people hopping onto my vibes just now, I guess she already does too. I think I just had the longest “state of heart energy” so far, she must have felt it. I always feel like an opening (?) close to my heart center and then it feels like energy floating in and out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have at times. I’d also experienced incredibly strong, almost paralysing butterflies in my stomach and some very powerful tingles and shivers.
      You’re very welcome and thank you for your support of the blog! 🙂 Keep up the happiness!


  5. Dear Nina,

    Have you ever experienced that you see your desired relationship is starting to manifest and you expect everything will be going well because now you know LOA so you happily believe the power to create your ideal life is on your hand, yet at the same time, things seem to be drifting to an opposite way?

    2 to 3 weeks ago, I changed my affirmation to the Universe that I wanted to either attract my specific man back or a new ideal man. When I started to feel very happy only for myself and didn’t pay much attention on him, the manifestation showed and then now, I truly don’t know what’s happening. That’s my updated situation now. I know I need to maintain my high vibration and stay in my vortex. But when it comes to love emotion, it’s not easy to control. I know I need an advice from an expert. Nina….. What should I do? Help~ ~ ~!!!



    1. After it started to manifest, did you create attachment to it, thinking it would go in a specific way from that point on and kept waiting for it and looking for it? That type of thing can create tense energy. You have to stay focused ONLY on your END result and not the process of it manifesting because that can lead to sort of being stuck in the process. However, this can all change. Just keep focusing on your end result, whatever that is. Only if your energy lightens up will it happen fast 🙂 Just change focus back to your end result 😀


  6. Before I go to my condition. May I first say “I Love you Nina!”? cause you are really nice to your fans! 🙂

    Yes, I think I consciously and subconsciously created new attachment. Thank you for reminding me! When it starts to manifest, I was so thrilled and grateful! At the same time, even though I understand I must allow the Universe to unfold and trust it will show me the path, I was still too focus on his reaction and paid too much attention to my desire.

    So, hope my awareness will help me to keep the manifestation showing and eventually lead to a stable and ideal relationship. Will I? And would you mind to explain further what is your so-called “my END results”? Thank you!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Fiona! I love all of you! 😀
      I know it can be tempting to try and plan every single step of this manifestation but the Universe can do it so much better and more magically than we can! 😀 I know you’ll allow it to happen 😀 Your end result is your ideal relationship and nothing else (or less 😉 ) Just imagine that relationship and your manifestation will unfold effortlessly and magically! Love the relationship and be grateful for it! Enjoy its becoming but let it come to life 🙂


    1. I recently coached a friend who has gone through such a profound change and has gained so much confidence that he decided his specific girl likes him. He stayed as optimistic as possible and chose to believe that this is true. I always decide I have what I want with the guy I want, whoever that is, and my friend used that for his own situation. They’ve just started to go on dates so believe me, it works 🙂 Use it!


  7. Thank you soon much, Nina!

    Can “allowing it to happen” be interpreted to “live with my life and do not try to make any contact unless he initiates the contact again” in my situation?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Even simpler 🙂 If and when you contact him, do so because you’re happy to and enjoy doing it, because contacting him that moment makes you happy 🙂 Never contact him because you want to achieve some goal out of it but only to spread the joy, so to speak.
      Remember that when we manifest, we can actually do nothing but keep up positive feelings around our desires. Some do nothing and manifest and others do everything but don’t. Some do a little and manifest, others do the same yet they don’t manifest. It all depends on your feelings. That’s the only formula – let your feelings dictate your actions. Sometimes, keeping up the loving feelings is the only thing you’ll need to do.
      Rely on your feelings, awareness and decisions alone, nothing else.
      So happy to help! I am so excited for you!!


  8. When he vanished 9 months ago, he simply just unread my texts (we used LINE to text and talk.) Yesterday after we had a great conversation, he texted “good night” to me but I was the one who replied him. So when I noticed he unread my text (good night) today, the whole day! I panic! Since I had a bad experience about his “unread”, how do I suppose to rely on my feeling, awareness and decisions? Sorry for addressing too much details.


    1. No worries – when you imagine your ideal reality, incorporate that. Try and imagine you two spending a great amount of time together and texting lovingly when you’re apart during the day. Don’t manifest too much around these texts specifically because then, you just might manifest texting instead of the relationship. Just send him love and decided that what you want is yours. It will be soon after 🙂


    1. Thank YOU 🙂 I am especially happy to provide this particular piece of advice as I once manifested texting instead of the relationship so I had to manifest the relationship after that. It was hilarious but really allowed me to see the distinction haha!


    1. Oh, it was something! One of my closest friends had actually said to me, “WHAT are you doing!?” Then, I had to do it properly haha.
      Happy to! 😀 Details like this are just best left alone, otherwise we manifest them or things like signs instead of our relationships.
      You’ll do great! Keep me posted!


  9. You two!
    Thanks for your comments! Helps me a lot and just affirms to me once more. (Synchronities yay!)
    I’m definitely on the right path now and feel like it’s going to manifest soon.
    I suddenly feel so much love and so easily for her and that amazing relationship.
    Today this image just came to me: Me telling my kid that he can try out whatever he wants, but he needs to find his love in there. Then everything will be just easy, and then I hear her voice telling me “You’re so amazing” and I look at her and she smiles at me. That really felt amazing 🙂 (I dont have kids!!)

    And yes, I experienced manifesting ‘just’ signs before as well…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love your question and I have to say that letting go is the best way to achieve fast manifestation.
      When we know our desire belongs to us already, we naturally let go. However, you do it the same yet differently. You can decide to trust that the Universe will bring you what you want and focus on how much you love your life in the meantime.
      What do you love to do? What do you love about your job or free time? What kind of activities make you the happiest?
      Pampering yourself is one of the best ways of achieving a happy state. Get your hair done, get a massage, buy some new clothes you absolutely love… Go see a concert with your friends, another great one! Or, host a get together at your house for your friends, serve some fine wine and have lots of laughs! Fill your life with activities that you enjoy.
      When you find yourself in that happy state due to those activities, you will think happy thoughts about your relationship as well since YOU will be happy. When you feel good about yourself, you also feel good about everything in your life as well as everything you want to bring into it. You will be able to imagine that this relationship is yours already. You must love your life and feel good about yourself 🙂
      LoA is about YOU and what you feel about yourself. Once you get a sense of your own worth, you will be able to imagine having everything you want AND you might even spontaneously put in additional emotion into your relationship manifestation which will draw it even faster!


      1. Thank you Nina. The good news is that I am feeling a little better, and I feel confident that it will get better everyday. My challenge is in really believing that my desire is mine when reality shows different. A couple of weeks ago, i was able to manifest contact from him (twice in one week). One was a text message and the other was a phone call. Although, the messages were not romantic or indicative of us being in a relationship, I was still happy to have made some progress because I hadn’t heard from him months before that.

        My challenge is that now I haven’t heard from him again. My hope was that I really wanted to be together by now, so that we could spend the holidays together. I’ve been alone for a lot of my life now Nina. I have a wonderful family and many many blessings, but a committed relationship has eluded me in the past. I really would like to be with my guy now, because although I know you shouldn’t need anyone, I really want that added bliss that comes when you have someone you really love to share the wonderful things in life with. I know I’m just supposed to believe and know its mine already, but i really wish I had someone to share my bed with at night, and take to be with my family, and I wish that it would happen NOW, and I really wish it would be with this man. Life on earth is not forever, and I have spend a lot of it single now. I really would like to manifest this ASAP so that I can maximize all of my time here.


      2. I see what you mean and you can definitely manifest it with confidence, trust and love. I know that you don’t want to need him but for as long as you do, you will continue to need him. If you trust that you are getting what you want, you will. Laws of the Universe never fail and you live what you believe is yours and is possible. You can believe that this is possible, replace all your current thoughts with the thoughts of having your relationship and, you will.


  10. Dear Nina,

    After talking to you and examining myself more clearly, I think when it was starting to manifest and even though it’s a good sign that he asked for many photos of mine right away (we don’t live in the same country), his action was not aggressive enough as “I expected”. So, I intended to look for more physical evidences from many ways.

    1.Did he contact me just for spontaneous thought or for love?
    2.Will the contact become a hobby, regular basis as we used to do?
    3.Maybe he wants to develop a new love relationship with me but he just takes it slow, or does he only try to be friendly nothing further?
    4.I understand men have different text behavior than women, but that really bothers me (sometime unread, sometimes no reply) cause it makes me feel like he is playing game.

    Since my desire is to have a loving, happy and committed relationship with him, I should trust the Universe will bring me the whole package rather than manifest “he contacts me only”, right?

    So why the manifestation and the process seem not quite smooth? Why am I in the circumstance of guessing, wondering, and expecting? Guess I thought once he contacts, the manifestation will be a smooth, brand new and healthy bond with him effortlessly, not like this now. I wonder if the manifestation will be gone completely or it is being stuck and can keep manifesting once I centralize my positive energy and focus my end result as you reminded me?



    1. Dear Fiona,

      Work on your conviction that your dream relationship is yours and that every step is leading to it. Once you truly believe your desired relationship is yours, his current behavior will stop bothering you and then, it will stop altogether. His behavior towards you will change as your feelings start to change. Your feelings about yourself and your relationship with him are important here. When you start to see specific characteristics you want to see on him, you actually will!

      When I experience negative thoughts, I face them. I wonder why they appeared and what they might be saying about my belief. I let them play out and see that they are false and not at all as scary as they seemed to be. Often, I just ignore them. I also remember that maintaining a high vibration is my responsibility. Your manifestation process seems bumpy right now because a part of you still doesn’t quite believe you can get your desire and keeps looking for proof that it’s there. For your desire to manifest, there has to be a consistent period of positive thoughts without resistance. A short period of positivity without resistance can make a difference!

      It’s important that you believe you can do this.

      Your questions showed that all these ideas are still resting somewhere in your mind and even if it’s innocent, you still wonder about them. You want him to be trustworthy, confident, take-charge and loving yet you still feel like you’re looking for that but instead of the external “proof,” I advise you to rely in your ideal reality as devised in your mind. I advise you to rely on knowing that your desire is yours now. Rely on your decision to have this – if you TRULY decided it is yours, you know you will get it regardless of how things look like now! Now, I’m gonna use that line as Thought of the Day because it is so true 🙂

      You should definitely trust the Universe to bring you what you want.


  11. Thank you, Nina.

    Please forgive my English. There are two parts I don’t quite get.

    1. “When you start to see specific characteristics you want to see on him, you actually will!” So do you mean that I should choose to see and focus on his characteristics which I admire and appreciate, rather than his current behavior which directs me to the negative feeling?

    2. I understand for my desire to manifest, I have to be a consistent period of positive thoughts without resistance. But when you mentioned that “A short period of positivity without resistance can make a difference”, what kind of the difference can be made if it only results from a short period of positivity?

    When I thought about this is the second time I manifest him back which is so amazing, I have a strong feeling that the Universe knows my specific man and I are for each other and therefore the Universe always wants to give me my desire. I should believe and be happily allow it to happens! But yes, a part of me still doesn’t quite believe I can get my desire. Maybe that is the matter of my self-worth issue or I’ve subconsciously gotten used to be single for too long?



    1. 1. YES! 😀 Perfect understanding! If you believe HE can possess the characteristics you would generally love in a boyfriend, you will evoke those in him.

      2. I meant that if you feel no less than good or great about him even just for a few days, you would be manifesting what you want with him even faster 🙂 I apologize if I originally wrote that a little unclear. Continuous positive feelings about him and your relationship with him would ensure fast manifestation. This is why it’s important to genuinely feel great about your desires.

      It’s possible that the habit of being single is blocking you slightly. Explore why exactly you feel that you can’t have your desire. Is it possible that you don’t believe he could make you happy in some way? If not, as your self-confidence increases, so will the faith in your abilities.


      1. Nina,

        What can we do if we are in the habit of being single? Even if we take 15 minutes to focus on the love for a relationship…. the habit and comfort is hard to break even if you know you really want a relationship no matter how much it scares you.


      2. Believe that the relationship you want to manifest will make you EVEN happier than you are right now 🙂


  12. Hi Nina, thank you for explaining further. 🙂

    When you ask me “Is it possible that you don’t believe he could make you happy in some way?”, my answer to myself is that “I know and am sure he can give me much happiness, but the problem is that if he is willing? If he is willing, then the happiness will be so much that I can’t dare to believe I will live in a such dream life.” So would it be considered as a self-worth issue so a part of me doesn’t feel that I can have my desire?


    1. I’d say so. As you keep enjoying life, feeling good about yourself and practicing positive thinking, your overall confidence will grow 🙂


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