Where’s Your Confidence?

35 thoughts on “Where’s Your Confidence?”

  1. Definitely your best post. After ending up in his area AGAIN. I found yet another belief – that i have to lose the extra weight FIRST. Working on it now. The good enough and worthy enough beliefs have been removed completely. I found the belief of having to lose the extra weight FIRST after thinking ‘I hope i dont run into him, i dont want him to see me like this.’ (even tho he has) I felt embarrassed at the possibility that he would see me. Its a persistent and big block because the belief is that he wont accept me like this and i know its the ONLY thing now holding me back because i keep thinking it will be easier or better if i was slimmer and and now looking back, i see my visualizations of us are when I am slimmer and feeling better. ARGH!! At least by ending up in this area again I think i found the biggest and final block. I also no longer bash myself in the mirror.
    I love you, Nina! ❤
    Merry Xmas x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Just to add above, because it could sound a bit contradictory. Do i feel worthy and deserving of being with him? yes. absolutely. The block I am putting on it about wanting to lose the extra weight is coming from me because of a belief that it would be easier and i would feel more comfortable. Hope that all makes sense lol. 🙂


    1. It does 🙂 And you know that it’s your belief that has to be removed, not your weight in fact. Thank you so much for your amazing words!


    1. Happy to 🙂 I wanted to cover everything I thought was important. I know it might sound simple but it really comes down to knowing that there is no reason for anyone not to feel worthy.


  3. Hi Nina,

    I’ve been practicing what you recommend for the past couple of days and all of a sudden he reached out to me. However, he went out of his way to refer to me as his “friend”. I know he probably felt my heart energy but how do I change his feelings from being friendly to being romantic ?


    1. Congrats! 😀
      Your awareness is in the “friend” zone now just because he said so. However, when you practice believing that you have the relationship already regardless of what he says, without letting it upset you and just believing that what you want can manifest, it will 🙂 However, let it happen, without worry about how it’s going to happen.


      1. Hi Nina, I guess my question is more about the fact that I manifested the same situation as before. There have been many times that he has gone out of his way to make sure to call me his friend which makes me feel like he’s trying to make it clear he’s not interested romantically. How can I change what I keep manifesting? Should i imagine the message coming in saying something different ? I always seem to miss something because I get the contact and I hear from him, but it’s not what I want to hear?


      2. I see. The basis of this is that you believe you can have this – you believe that you can hear him call you a friend but don’t believe you CAN have the relationship you want with him. You are used to receiving this and believe it without effort. However, with visualization and affirmations, you can get used to feeling that what you want is possible, yours and you can feel what it’s like to have it. When you create that new habit, your reality will change.


  4. I’m trying to see the positive side of this scene: I went to my friend’s (the friend that I’m in love with) parents house for Christmas eve. She got there with her new significant other. And they seem pretty happy, making plans and everything. I felt like the worst person in there.
    I love her and It seems pretty hard to happen anything between us now. I feel lonely and i have no idea about what to do


    1. Dear Sam,
      Merry Xmas! I am so sorry but I have to ask, were you still unsure that this relationahip was yours and just waiting for it to happen? You have to know it’s yours before it shows in the external reality and never “need” for it to happen, never rely on the external reality for proof. Your disbelief has grown since seeing your friend with their significant other. Tell me, are you finding it hard to believe without external proof?
      Your reality is a reflection of your beliefs. Another q is, do you still truly want this? You can always manifest what you want and this can be fixed xx


      1. Merry Christmas! I think I didn’t want the relationship to happen. I was afraid to accept that. I’ve been asking to the Universe to put someone in my life. Someone kind, hard working, nice. Someone that is more like me, you know? I think I’m ready to let go of the old relationship and to get ready for a really nice human being. 🙂


      2. Wow, amazing! I’m so happy for you! 😀 Now, imagine yourself having that relationship and think about how you feel in it. I can’t wait to hear all about it!


  5. Hello .
    Marry Christmas !!😊
    I wrote a good few comments before about my journey of manifesting a guy back .
    It’s been over a year now and more than happy to say that law of attraction worked for me without a fail every time . I manifested him back ..I think 6 times now !! I’d do nothing about it just make up my mind and know it’s gonna happen and it does every time the moment forget about it for short period of time or simply don’t care about it happening . He comes to me ,we start seeing each other ,date ,hold hand and all that and it’s always him making an effort and try to make things work . Then I’d get negative and insecure for no reason and he’s attitude towards me changes ..he gets distant and pulls away. My reactions to it are always the same I get paranoid and very difficult to deal with ,the worse part is that I’m completely aware of it and actually feel bad for him having to deal with it . My big issue is always the girl that also comes back to him life straight after things don’t work out between us . The funny thing is I brought her life before she actually existed in reality ,I was paranoid about her appearing in his life before he knew her .🤔. He starts seeing her every time we break up ,which is also about 6 times ..
    There’s no way it’s a funny coincidence ..it’s reality I create myself . 6 exactly the same scenarios !! 6 times everything I focused on became a reality just the way I was expecting it .
    He’s a good guy and I know he doesn’t want to hurt anyone . I don’t don’t either but sometimes I feel a little guilty I mess with our lives like that ..because I know it’s all me .
    It never take long for him to come back,it never takes any action on my side accept that I know it will happen and it is what I want deep inside but I find it hard to let it work out after it manifests .
    In a meantime I see other people ,manifesting new people is very easy to me and they’re always just the way I want them to be ,I might have a great time with dating other people but I also always know they just a distraction and I imagine endings of us dating anyway when he’s back .They’re amazing people and mostly I want to stay friends and I do but they’re not him same as whoever he’d be dating is not me .
    I’m not even sure I’m asking for an advise here ..I kinda understand exactly what’s happening and why .
    If you got a spare time I’d love to hear you opinion tho .xx


    1. Hi! 😀 And, merry belated Xmas 🙂
      I think that at this point, it only matters whether or not you’re ready to create new habits. Because that’s all that this is, a habit for you. Living like this is easy and familiar to you now and you probably manifested this person that comes into his life on and off because you were bored, couldn’t imagine you two in a happy relationship or were afraid that if you were to be a couple, you’d someday break up and never see each other again. And this way, you keep coming back to each other and he’s always in your life. Also, you get to enjoy him as well as new amazing people. You just weren’t ready for a relationship but if you are now, new habits have to be created 🙂 Ask yourself how you feel when you think about being a real couple with him. Do you fear being stuck or bored? Do you really want to be with him or meet someone new? Sometimes, not allowing it to happen shows doubt that he has the capability of making you happy. It’s so much easier to manifest new people and by now, you are struggling with your mix of positive as well as negative feelings for him. I think you might have also manifested this new girl in his life so that you don’t feel so guilty when you’d rather date someone else besides him. I could be wrong but maybe, in part. You are a confident person so maybe you thought that if you could have someone else for a little while, he was allowed the same and you knew he’d be back anyway. Plus, every time he comes back to you from her, you feel that he drops her whenever you come calling.
      Does any of that sound familiar?


      1. Hi .thanks for your response .
        You’re right about a lot of things . I am a little confused .
        Dating others ,they’re new people ,men from the past ,strangers approaching me everywhere ,old boyfriends ,there’s too many of them showing up at once ..that seems like a great distraction ,certainly confidence boost and lets me get some distance . I know there’s a certain energy about me during that time ,people respond to it instantly men and women ,it’s like I’m a attracting everything around me .It’s a lot of texting and few meetings ,never gets physical as I don’t want it to ,it’d be pointless and I don’t wanna get that involved and always right before the time he’s about to come back to my life all the other guys disappear somehow anyway . They’re great people and always act exact the way I’d want him to act towards me but I can’t settle for second best . Theyre not him .
        Beginings between me and him are always good,go smoothly and we reconnect instantly .
        Then I get paranoid about silly stuff and start to wreck his head ,put pressure on him ..I must be awful for him if I was in his shoes I’d walk away but he still sticks around and try till eventually it’s too much even for him . One of us end things and he’s back with that girl ,which isn’t a surprise to me as that was in my mind all along beforehand .
        This is my biggest fear ,isn’t it ?
        That’s why I struggle to trust him ,I’m scarred to relax about things ,I get frustrated and negative towards him . As confident as I am I’m still insecure I’m not good enough and he’d leave .
        Is a matter of him not being able to make me happy ..I doubt making him happy has anything to do with him ,I don’t need him to make . No amount of effort on his side would make me happy if i didn’t feel happy myself .


      2. Fair enough. The issue is that you feel he “brings out” those few insecurities you have because you feel you can’t keep him unless solving them first. This happens when you start to think of him as “better” than everyone else. Once you relax around him some more, you’ll be able to enjoy him for who he is and see yourself with him.


  6. Hi Nina. I hope you and your families had a nice holiday.

    I have, unfortunately, decided to give up on getting my ex back. He didn’t wish me a Merry Christmas and it devastated me. It may sounds trivial, but I feel it is something he would have done if he truly cared about me.

    I wanted to thank you for all your encouraging words and giving me hope. I just don’t feel strong enough to keep trying. I can’t seem to get myself in a good place to bring my positive energy up when I feel I can’t change how HE feels. One moment I feel things are good and I am happy, but then it doesn’t last long. I think I am focusing on him too much.

    Take care.


    1. Hi Bea! Merry belated Xmas 🙂 It was a great but also an exhausting holiday – when it falls on a weekend, you become unsure whether you’re celebrating Xmas or just partying after a certain point!
      I do think that his missing Xmas greeting is something that you perceive as a negative thing but it is always one’s personal energy that decides whether or not others reach out to them. You might have felt negatively about him and didn’t have faith that he would reach out.
      If you look for proof that he cares, you will continue to look for it because that shows where your awareness is. However, if you already believe he cares, you’ll let him show it.
      I support your decision and you can always manifest someone you feel more positively about if you want. Letting all of this go for a while will let you relax. When you feel more positively about him, on the other hand, so will he about you. Feeling negatively about him is where you are now, even though you might occasionally think it’s positive, but wanting to hear from him and then being angry at him when you don’t shows you feel negatively about him. If you want to change that, you can, but if not, that also works.


      1. Thank you, Nina.

        I agree that my feelings are overwhelming me at the moment. I recently just lost my job (after Christmas) due to the company closing and a couple of my family members are suffering with some medical issues. I haven’t been feeling positive with anything really lately. I am trying, but it is tough.

        I am hoping that I can make my way out of this dark tunnel soon and be happier. I haven’t given up completely on him or anything else because I am a strong person. I am just feeling down lately and having a hard time getting my vibrational level up.

        Your forum and advice helps. 😊


      2. I’m glad it does and this makes sense. When things in life aren’t going so well, a sense of neediness towards a partner or specific person can increase but really it comes from you and the needs only you can fulfill. You will find another job and your family members will be OK. Once you feel better, even producing positive circumstances for all of you with your thoughts and feelings, you can think about the relationship.


  7. Hi Nina. I hope you and your family had a nice holiday.

    I had a really tough Christmas. My guy didn’t wish me a Merry Christmas. It may sound trivial to you, and maybe it is, but it is something he would have done if we were together. What really hurts is that even my friends did it and we are supposedly friends. It really gave me a wake up call. I feel like he doesn’t care about me anymore. I have just been delusional this whole time.

    I have decided that I am finally going to give up trying to get him back and remove myself from his life. Not that he will even notice (or care), but I have tried my best to be friendly (as he put it) and it is hurting me. I just can’t get to a happy place (and stay there) long enough to make anything manifest except NOT being with him. I think I am focusing too much on him.

    I appreciate all your encouragement and hope but I just don’t feel strong enough or patient enough to get my desire. I feel I can’t change the way he feels.

    Take care.


  8. Hi Nina, Merry Christmas.

    i have started asking and listening to my heart after reading your posts. But something happened on the way of eveything you suggested-
    1. I am very patient with my spouse. But his habit of imposing things on me that he doesn’t do properly bothers me sometimes. And I snap at times which leads to unnecessary fights. I know what I should do but…your opinion on how you would deal with such things.
    2. I am trying to.manifest a friendship back. One day I Visualized him during meditation and after that I feel so relaxed that I don’t get that excitement when i naturally visualize him. Is it positve thing?
    3. I sometimes try to imagine how he will come. Though it happens rarely but it does happen these days, probably, because new year is coming and I am expecting a wish. But at the same time I remind myself that I don’t have to think about how. It is going to happen and I am at ease. Do you think i am kinking the positive vibes that I have for my manifestation??

    Many thanks.


    1. Hi!! 🙂 I hope you’re having great holidays 😀
      1. It is never the behavior of another in itself that causes grief but one’s reaction to it instead. I suggest that you decide you won’t be affected by the reactions of others you dislike because they’re not worth ruining your mood. Or, you could approach them as if you accept that those reactions are there and you can’t change them so you might as well not be upset by them. I have recently advised a friend to do the same and it worked like magic for her. You change the situation by NOT trying to change it.
      2. It’s a positive thing because it is essential that you see yourself having the friendship and believing that it’s yours, through all your moods, if you will.
      3. I think you should say to yourself, “It’s happening very soon, in this exact way or an even better one” and let it go. The “how” part can be different than what we have imagined and that’s OK because whenever it is, it manifests in an even better way than we’d originally imagined 🙂


      1. Hi Nina
        I wanted to run something past you, well, because I don’t have anyone else I can talk to about it.

        4 days ago I dreamt I called his home number (which I don’t have) and his mother answered the phone.

        I asked to speak to him and she said, ‘sure who is calling?’ I said my name and she said ‘Gretta?’ I said ‘yes’ she said ‘Gretta?’ Followed by my middle came. I again said, ‘yes’ she then said ‘you know how he feels about you, right?’ The tone was like a omg I can’t believe you are STILL trying with this / her trying to put across to me again that he isn’t interested / he wants nothing to do with you / getting bothered that I was calling for him. We spoke more but I don’t remember the conversation then woke up without having spoken to him.

        The reason this is bothering me so much is because the last time I dreamt of his mum she told me that he had been involved in an accident and, HE WAS.

        Maybe I should have told you earlier that I have prophetic dreams and used to work as a medium. I stopped recently after the trauma of what was said about me by his family to him which made him walk away from me.

        WHAT DO YOU THINK THE DREAM REPRESENTS? I can’t shake that it’s a message to just give up. Funny isn’t how SHE answered the phone. That great big block. The reason WHY he went AWOL on me.

        Although I’ve been very positive up until this, I see mistakes I have STILL been making like checking his FB and my phone by somehow thinking that because my visualization sand feeling have been so high and happy that it will somehow make him magically appear immediately. I hope that makes sense.

        I guess I feel down, not because I have not received anything as yet but because I remembered something about how he said that only a handful of women fit what he wants (in paraphrasing there) and I guess between his pickiness and his mother always being there, that’s not an exaggeration, she is ALWAYS there, I just feel down like its a mountain way to high to climb with his conditioning and expectations and his mother holding the strings.

        Any thoughts? What do you think about the dream ?



      2. To add.

        I only ever received what I wanted when I completely let go and never thought of it again.

        He convinced himself with the help of his mother that I was to be avoided even tho my friends and family contacted him asking him to reconsider what he was told about me because it wasn’t based in any truth, just by a mother who wants to be the only woman in his life.

        My above post either means I still dont believe somewhere or have not let go or worse, both.



      3. Just to add again… Sorry.

        I’ve seen his mother attack women on Facebook.
        I’ve seen every photo of him either with his mother or his arm around her but EVERY photo she is right there next to him, it’s like they are a couple!
        I also spoke to someone who told me that it isn’t just me who she did this to, it’s ANY girl that goes next to him! :/

        I know you’ve said before that maybe I don’t love him enough but last night I cried my eyes out while watching people get married and have kids and yeah… I wanted that with him. I never wanted that with anyone else before. Ever.

        The dream shook me up because my dreams are not just regular dreams. They always come true.


      4. and again, sorry I always remember after I post.

        He read a message out to me that she had sent him when we were out.

        She had been implanting false things about me in his head from day one and the entire time we were in contact with each other. Telling him how worried she was for him. 😢 She had never even met me.

        What I am worried about is that even after my friends and family contacted him telling him that he was being lied to by his family he still did NOTHING. Nothing.

        This is what makes me think he will never change his mind about me because even after getting letters and texts and phone calls from my family and friends, he stuck with the BS he was told, instead of wanting to hear the truth. To say he is stubborn is an understatement. Letters and text and phone calls and still that didn’t move him to question what he was lead to believe about what he was told.

        Can you see why u feel stressed out now? His mother and his refusal to acknowledge my family and friends contacting him with proof that he’d been lied too.

        I don’t know what to do anymore. 😪😢


      5. All those things are just different versions of your disbelief in the possibility of this relationship. You see the mother and his connection to her as blocks. If things are going to change, you will have to believe past those blocks and let go to manifest. You feel negatively about him, his life and your opinion about his life. This is why I asked you if you really wanted him, since all those things mean you feel negatively about him and your potential relationship with him. Thinking you don’t have the relationship IS feeling negatively about it. Only when you feel positively about having it will it manifest.


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