The Problems of Attachment

Do you feel like you “can have” some of your desires but others seem impossible to obtain?

This attitude presents a manifesting block and attachment to specific desires. You feel like you can’t live without those specific desires, feel unable to manifest them because they are “bigger” or “better.” You might also think, “I never get to have that.”

We’ve all felt this way about a specific desire once or twice; my solution for it lies in, guess what, confidence!

Since you already know you can live any reality you choose, it is time to stop fearing life and absolutely own your power instead!

Many struggle to deal with all the resistance manifesting love can bring, especially when it comes to a specific person.

If you want to live a specific reality, believe that you can! Stay focused until you get there without looking for ways of making it happen. The Universe will make it happen by leading you and your belief to a specific set of actions you will have to take, places to go or a change of circumstances necessary for your desire to manifest. This is how your desire will come to you. Often, you won’t even have to do any of that for your desire to manifest – it will come to you immediately.

This change in attitude will give you motivation and confidence. You can live your desired reality and if you still want it, be ready to live it! Be confident enough for it! Never idealize it but accept it instead.

Idealizing a specific reality, job, physical appearance, friendship, relationship or person can lead to profound attachment to your desire. Still, you can create an absolutely magical life with your desire in it but this magic depends on accepting your desire for what it truly is. There might still be days you are bored living it but this doesn’t have to mean you will lose it. Just allow it to be.

You will be overly attached to a specific person if you believe they are “perfect” but will feel great love for them if you believe them to be perfect just the way they are. This way, you are not idealizing them but appreciating them instead. You are allowing them to be themselves while wanting to make them happy. You want to spend time with them. You give them the freedom to be themselves while loving them.

Now, look at the specific relationship with a specific person you currently want to manifest. Do you love them for who they are or are you idealizing a made-up version of them you would like to fulfill all of your needs? A relationship exists primarily for happiness while you have to be a complete person all by yourself, without another. Do you want to share your life with that real person, with the person he or she genuinely is?

When idealizing your specific person, you are not seeing the real person. Not only are you then unable to manifest a relationship with them due to seeing them as “perfect” but believe me, they don’t want that kind of pressure put on them. Like you, they want to be loved for who they truly are.

When wanting a specific person in my life, as a friend or partner, I am “attracted” to them for their true energy. I want to know them, talk to them, learn about them, spend time with them and share adventures with them.

If you feel incomplete without a specific person in your life, you are on a low vibration and feel like you need that relationship to be happy. The downside of that is, the awareness of need attracts more need, preventing you from letting go and manifesting.

Choose a person you want to give love to. Wanting to give instead of thinking of your own needs should be the reason for choosing someone. We want to give to those who make us happy so think about who it is that makes you happy.

In order to manifest a relationship, I have to want to be in it. I must want to make a specific man happy and genuinely desire to be with him. This might take some time of knowing a man beforehand but it is worth it; if it doesn’t, I knew everything I needed to know after knowing him shortly. When I feel it, I know it. Otherwise, I enjoy life, closeness and adventures with my friends, new friends, people I wanted to meet and then did, travel, fun, relaxation, comments from my readers, work engagements and individuals I’ve had a great time working with.

Speaking of which, I have to start getting ready for tonight’s event.


Another problem of excessive attachment to specific people and relationships lies in giving your power away. You are allowing someone else to control your good mood and vibration with their actions. But why? Does this make any sense to you?

The best part is, your specific person holds this power because you allow them to! It is still your choice to feel the way you do.

By now, you know you can manifest the relationship you want. You know that you should feel confident and you are getting there. And you know that I believe in you.


  1. Hi Nina,

    I think this is the answer to my last question… Thank you 🙂

    Can you do me a favor…. Can you visualize my post here saying that we had an amazing weekend together, and that we are now in a relationship with each other and both are so happy and fulfilled 🙂

    Will post soon 🙂


  2. Hi Nina,

    I’m sorry to bother you again, I just have one more question. What do you do in the cases where you’ve been rejected by a man over and over? As I mentioned to you, this has been over years, and what you said in your previous post is true… I kind of am used to him rejecting me now. He gets close and then runs away saying that he tried but he just doesn’t feel to be in a relationship with me…. This has happened many times over the years, that I don’t know how to overcome and break this pattern we are in.

    Do you have any advice for someone like me that’s been in a viscous cycle for close to ten years?


    1. Dear C,
      All your comments are telling me that you do see your progress but feel it is slow and you want to get away from it, changing everything instantly. You can do that but only if you keep absolute focus on your feeling of you two as a couple but in order to do that, you have to dare to imagine it 😀
      You are letting go more and more which is why you are seeing results but as your idea of being with him feels more and more real as you visualize it, you will be able to let go entirely. In order to change your current reality, you have to visualize a new one, one you want.


  3. By the way, he is coming to my city now next weekend, so I’m going through major anxiety …I just don’t know what to expect. Like will he try to finally come close to me?


    1. Stay focused on your end result, no specific expectations for this or that day of hanging out together but just let it all happen while believing that it will, that all of this is yours now and expect it to happen any day now 🙂


  4. Nina and All

    Are you sitting down? After nearly 4 years of this man telling me he wanted nothing to do with me and telling me to stop contacting him and to many other things to type…*drumroll* After many phone calls of me taking inspired action and not giving up and saying to the Universe, no! it’s today, he picks up the phone or I’m out! (yes i know i interfered with the HOW but i also know how this man can be! Very stubborn! and yes i called about 5 times!) he has now added me on Twitter and we are talking about getting together in the next few weeks to attend an event. He didnt have to do any of that! I want to say I cant believe it, but I do.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omg yes!!!!!!!!!!! And last night, a friend of mine also got a breakthrough with their specific person, I just heard!!
      I am so proud of you!!!!!!!!


      1. Hi Nina. Would you say its safe to say or a huge probability that he never believed what he was told about me because he has just added me on facebook now. Would you say its possible that there was feelings there and although he may have listened to what people were telling him about me, deep down he never believed Them? Because him adding me on facebook now, the people who told him bad things about me would be able to see that we are friends etc. And also, he must trust me to add me on facebook even though our past has been nothing short of horrendous with fighting though text and email, for him to add me, he would have to know deep down that i wouldn’t put anything on his page or that it will end up the same way again. Right?


      2. I have no idea but I would say it doesn’t matter. All that matters is now and what you want to create so you can definitely forget about the past 🙂


    2. Ah-mazing !!!! So great for you 🙂 I also feel on the brink of a breakthrough and I do think part of it is the not taking no for an answer !!! 🙂 looking forward to the full actualization of your manifestation !!!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. C and gretta, visualized for both of you as well 🙂
    So glad to hear about both of your success!!
    I feel super close as well, but I feel like the universe will work that out and i will just let it flow.
    Is this inspired action? Me flying back across the planet to where my love is, actually to finish some music projects?
    I guess in the end it really all comes together.
    I honestly dunno what I am gonna do when I will run into her, which due to circumstances there could be very likely to happen.
    But I recently had a photoshoot for my CV and I tried this for one shot, which turned out a bit too confident (is that possible, Nina?), at least from what I’ve seen on the camera, I haven’t got it it:
    “I am getting the job, thank you, that I got the job”, saying in my head. You could tell the difference in my eyes and more relaxed face in general.
    So I guess this is what gretta did as well, right?
    And it can work for C, too, if you are going to run into him, awesome! You know that you attracted this opportunity, if not it’s okay too, the universe obviously works out the best way for you. Even though anxiety creeps up, focus on that: “I am in this amazing relationship with him, thank you that everything works always out for me” or even in addition “Thank you for attracting all these positive opportunities”.
    Bless be y’all! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Confidence means feeling good about everything you are so your photo shoot could have simply been an indicator that you feel amazing about yourself 🙂


  6. Nina,

    I love this post! I feel it explains exactly how I have been feeling. I have been trying to focus more on MY happiness and well-being. I kinda lost myself somewhere along the way and I am really working on finding ME again.

    I feel I am growing more positive and confident everyday. If I start to feel negative, I try to acknowledge it and then put a positive spin on it.

    Also, like you said, I am trying to love my specific man for who he is and not for what I want him to be or do for me.

    Thank you (and all the wonderful readers) for your love and encouragement.

    P.S. I am SO happy for everyone seeing and feeling great things happening for them. We all deserve to have our dreams come true!



    1. Good morning dear! Thank you for this absolutely wonderful comment 🙂 I am so happy for you!
      Always think about what you learned from your moments of negativity and how that lesson got you even closer to your desire 🙂


  7. Hi Nina,

    I was just re-reading this post and something you said here led me to a thought:

    “Do you love them for who they are or are you idealizing a made-up version of them you would like to fulfill all of your needs?”

    This made me wonder if I’m doing something right. So, I’ve loved this man for sometime now, even though there are some things that have made me have negative thoughts if he would fully be the man I want him to be, towards me. I want to make him happy and loved, but I also would like him to give me those things as well… for his behavior and commitment towards me to change so that I can be happy. Is this wrong because I’m trying to change his behavior towards me… does that mean that my visualizations/affirmations are idealizing him?

    Thank you,


    1. I think you generally see the both of you unfulfilled. You don’t feel that you are fulfilled now and you don’t see him being fulfilled being in a relationship with you. What you need to do is see the two of you HAPPY while being together and having everything you ever dreamed of. Believe that this can happen and visualizing will get easier.


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