Do You Cling to Specific Behaviors?

When it comes to men and women especially, a difference in behaviors, reasons for those behaviors, habits and approach methods can cause a riff between the two sides, resulting in arguments and resentment. One side feels that the other should act a certain way if they care while the other feels that they did nothing wrong but lived their life while also building a potential relationship and expressed their feelings.

Let’s deal with the side of an intentional manifestation practitioner who wants to know their desired relationship is manifesting.

A manifestation practitioner who feels this way wants to see evidence of their desire manifesting now. However, letting go is the only way to see results now but instead, they incessantly check their phone, email and social media hoping to see something there.

They are displaying the need for their desire to manifest instead of love and trust that it will.

I know you know this by now but this is not criticism. We are simply discussing it because that type of behavior prevents you from manifesting your desired relationship. In addition, it prevents you from being happy now since looking for something that you feel is missing is enough to make you miserable.

The knowing of your desired relationship manifesting is inside you, not among the signs you receive or the reactions you get. All of those things follow your awareness.

You could do every couple thing with someone and still not be a couple. Or, you could not even have communicated with another for a long time and suddenly, you became a couple. You have to realize that this is where creation rests, not in the number of texts you receive.

This type of conflict happens between men and women for various reasons.

There was a period of my life when I entered relationships faster than you could blink. Not flings, relationships. I would be introducing my new boyfriend around, not caring whether or not I might want him a month from then. I was living in the moment. I was positive it was the right thing to do and I still am convinced it was so. I was enjoying loving feelings for as long as they lasted, expressing myself freely. I was going with the flow of the relationship. At the same time, I would see others in miserable long-term relationships yet staying together. I was in a long-term relationship once as well, for as long as I was happy in it. However, I manifest and have relationships when I want them because I don’t condition them to last forever. I want to be happy. I focus on the love instead of things that have nothing to do with a happy relationship. It can last or it doesn’t have to but let’s see how it goes.

However, not all my exes took that as lightly. After a while, one took me for granted, thinking a relationship would last just because he had found someone he wanted to settle down with. He thought I would stay with him just because we were together for a long time but I ended it because he had stopped trying. Once I knew I wanted out, I ended it. Two others expected that I would want a long-term relationship with them just because they did but had put their needs before mine. They thought I should give them what they wanted by default but relationships are a choice. I choose to be with someone or, not. However, they depended on me for their happiness and self-esteem. So, I left.

Do you see what I mean? Because this is something men and women have in common.

You cannot expect to only be happy around your specific person or with them in your life and expect to stay attractive to them. Why? Because depending on another for happiness doesn’t make you feel good either. You must have your own life, work, activities, hobbies, interests, purpose, friends and the things you love. You can share as much as you want with your specific person but not be practically incapable of living without them. This is especially important for women to know.

Trying to rush your manifestation frantically shows that you cannot feel good unless you have it in your life. This energy blocks it from coming just like depending on another for your happiness blocks them from seeing you as someone they want to be in a relationship with.

You don’t have to be superwoman – just a woman who feels comfortable with herself, values herself and loves everything she is, which gives her confidence. Only when you love you will you able to love another.

A happy relationship is created when you love the person enough to allow them to be themselves instead of wanting them to cater to your needs. A happy relationship is created when you think positively enough about the person to want to give to them and the relationship instead of thinking what they should want to give to you. Imagine wanting to spend time with them and wanting to make them happy!

Now, let’s talk about those of you who know that someone is “the one” for life. If I can be relaxed without needing a relationship to last, why couldn’t you be happy knowing you have found someone with him you will manifest a lasting relationship? You have it figured out so be happy! You know you can manifest this so why entertain the thoughts that make you miserable, such as those of you two being apart?

Do you see how many good things you have to look forward to? If you focus on them, you will allow the Universe to work out the details for you.

A reader pointed out her area of struggle, believing her desire belongs to her already, saying:

“Would you please kindly address more how can I be sure myself that I can have it and how to gain that strong intention–”

I could once again say “capture the feeling of having it” or “visualize having it once and stick to it” but a permanent solution to this problem can be achieved by looking within and asking yourself why you don’t feel that you can have and live your desire.

Once you realize why you are blocking yourself from receiving your desire, why you believe to be undeserving, you can remember that we all manifest what we believe. Then, think about what you want to believe. How do you want to see yourself? Because the way you see yourself is the way others see you.

If you fear away from exploring your limiting beliefs, it will be difficult to manifest what you want. Some have told me they felt embarrassed after looking within and finding guilt, shame and an inferiority complex.

However, I have an easy answer which will make you see that exploring and resolving limiting beliefs can be easy.

You don’t have to be afraid or ashamed – nobody feels amazing every minute. Let a negative feeling go and move on. In the moments you feel less than great, you can again feel great when you stop pretending, admit how you feel and stop seeing it as a big deal or something embarrassing.

Be confident about your feelings, no matter what they are. I can openly say how I feel and move on. If I ever felt embarrassed, I would say it and as soon as I did, it went away. That was how I eventually lost the grasp of what embarrassment felt like. If I feel sad, I say it and feel better immediately. You could vocalize negative emotions with the purpose of releasing them and then move on from them.

You could also admit to someone you trust that you feel inadequate (including your fellow readers on this blog) and not only will they remind you of how worthy you are, you will feel that it is false as soon as you say it. As you explore your feelings, you will see how much there is in your life to be grateful for and feel positively about. You are surrounded by people who love you and you have so much! You cannot put all of life’s importance to a desire you are now wanting to manifest. You have to be complete before it comes to you.

Awakening all of these ideas inside you is enough to make you see that you can have anything you want but have to have a life outside of it, too. Clinging to a desire too much makes you feel like you don’t have it, blocking your desired manifestation. However, realizing there is no reason to cling to this desire is very important. You already have a rich life.

If you could see yourself as rich, valuable and colorful as you want to be, you will easily accomplish your goals. Confidence is the answer to everything, if you ask me. Tell yourself you are ready to receive and live your desire and then, visualize having it. Thank the Universe for it, let it go and in the moments of doubt, remind yourself that since you asked for your desire, you must receive it because the Universe knows what you want. You have to trust it to give you what you want – that way, you are allowing it to do the work for you.

Published by Nina Grdic

Life coach, writer, lifelong traveler, music lover and confidence/positivity/Law of Attraction expert.

132 thoughts on “Do You Cling to Specific Behaviors?

    1. After that long-term one? Yes. I had a problem with constant boredom and didn’t like the idea of somebody trying to turn me into what they wanted me to be just because they were too attached and just because we were together. Then, I hadn’t found anyone I wanted long-term love with and figured that when he appeared, that would be it πŸ˜€ I did care abt all my exes for a while but I would always stop. Now, I am open to a relationship being, short, long, lasting or not, as long as I am happy. But now, for that reason, I also set my sights on different, even better kind of men. Today, it can last or not but that will depend on both of us.


    2. I appreciate your interest in the subject because you know I believe specific examples help, especially when truly coming from the heart. Thing is, you can manifest whatever kind of relationship you want. I’ve had different kinds.


      1. Thank you for all of your posts Nina.

        I know that you did put that you just wanted to go with the flow, but I was just curious why you didn’t want to manifest someone that didn’t take you for granted. Somebody who would also want to make you happy in addition to you making them happy

        I’m pretty sure I’m a bit older than you, so I understand that sometimes you are not ready or just dont want to settle down at a certain age, so I was curious if that is the reason that you didn’t want to manifest a long term thing.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Maybe in part? Looking back, who knows. It was mostly wanting to figure out what exactly I wanted in a man long term before manifesting it, as incomplete desires had made me unhappy.


      3. Dear C, something else I just realized I hadn’t added. This was where I learned the difference between love and need. Someone who tries to turn you into the person they want you to be because they are too attached but claims to love you and thinks that this is love does NOT know love. They are unattractive because they think they can’t live without you but that you should love them for that reason. They think you should be the person they want you to be because they think they can’t live without you while they give you no reason to be with them.
        Somebody who says they are nothing without you offers you no reason to choose them? Why would I be with someone who sees themselves as nothing and who depends on me? I want someone amazing!
        On the other hand, LoA is about loving someone for who they are and manifesting love WITH them because your mutual love brings happiness stronger and more powerful than either of you has ever experienced before.


  1. Just to update. We are taking daily, only for a few minutes or so about the event coming up. I feel relaxed if i hear from him or don’t her from him for a day. I am almost in the space of being detached to the point where I am ok with whatever happens because for me that the easiest way for me let go and if i can be ok with whatever happens or when it happens then i know I am not sending out any crazy vibes of need or want or desperation etc, But I also feel its extremely important not to need anyone. He is still the same, hes a man of few words, but I like that about him. Oh, he got even more awesome in the time we were not speaking. I can see changes i him. Should I have been expecting him to confess dying love for me over social media sites? No. I know this isn’t the way he works, he has to know everything before he gets himself into anything, that is another thing I really like about him. I do like that he doesn’t just jump in.

    So, this is the approach I have taken and it makes me relaxed. I no longer check my phone for messages or do anything of the things I was doing or panic if we don’t talk that day because i feel its the NEED for it and the other that keeps it away.

    Thoughts Nina? Am i being to relaxed? Haha

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Nina, thanks for this post. While I understand everything and have been doing what you have suggested – there are times when I feel very excited, happy that it’s happening. It’s coming… visualization and imagination is very natural.

    But there are times when I feel general like no excitement. I don’t feel sad either. But kind of “meh” feeling… that is the time when i start questioning myself if it is wearing off? ?

    Is it natural?

    Also I now want to manifest communication being initiated by him. I don’t want to be the one every time. My guy doesn’t like to be in spotlight when it comes about discussing feelings. His fav declaration about himself is “I don’t like questions” when asked if he misses me, missed me, what does he feel about me.

    As they say in LOA, say what you want…visualize what you want…I do. And thinking of how right it is for me no to initiate any communication and let it come from him…


    Thank you.



    1. I have been feeling the same way. Not really sad but not really excited either. I was worried I was losing my desire but it still feels strong to me.

      I await your answer, Nina. : )

      Liked by 1 person

    2. It is natural to question whether you still want your desire. I have done that. Once you decide either way, you’ll feel better again πŸ™‚


      1. Thanks Nina!! Indeed.

        What about other question. ..that I don’t want want to initiate communication (is that also resistance? ) and now I want him to initiate it ( should i just imagine phone ringing and him calling me, he is texting me and sending whatsapp messages etc??)

        Is there anything you else suggest for such manifestation where we are looking for loving communications happening from the other side… I am already excited. ..yesss


      2. Connect with your feelings and see which idea feels better – that you let him do it or that you do it. I do what feels good. At the same time, if you let go entirely, it’ll probably work out in the way that he’ll initiate it.


  3. Dear Nina,

    Thank you for choosing this topic! You want us to β€œlook within and ask ourselves why we don’t feel that we can have and live our desire.”

    When my specific man and I first fell for each other, I had so much strength to live my desired relationship and life. Though I know there’re a lot of things both of us need to overcome, as long as we love each other everything can be solved. After he vanished and then contacted me again, things didn’t go smooth as I expected so that strength is getting weak. All the difficulties, that had never been an issue to me, now seem to be an issue resulting from the reality of that we live in the different countries, English is not my first language and I am 5 years older than him (though I maintain myself well. Haha….)

    So Nina, I speak out my concern here as you encourage us. Today I also want to tell myself that when I decide to have my desired relationship I don’t need to worry the rest because the Universe will arrange all the details for me in the best ways. Right? And since I have already manifested that he contacted to me out of the blue, it means I am so close to my desire. I should be confident about my ability, talent, look, and my personality, so I deserve all I desire.

    The way I explain to myself is correct? πŸ™‚


    1. Yes, and in more detail – you should be confident about everything you are so that you develop a super positive awareness which will allow you to believe you deserve and will receive what you desire πŸ™‚ I preach confidence so strongly because confidence is what gives you a positive awareness where you can love and appreciate yourself and then easily believe you can manifest everything you want πŸ™‚
      When you see yourself in such an amazing light, you see others the same way, ESPECIALLY those you love πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Does letting go completely mean I accept the old relationship is over and stop contacting/thinking about him? Moving on with my life? If I do that, will it tell the Universe I don’t want him? My desire for a second chance at love with him is still very strong.

        I am unclear what to ask for, though. A relationship, to marry him, to hear from and see him. I want all these things but not sure which one to put my focus on.


      2. You can ask for all of them because you can have everything you want.
        Letting go completely means knowing that you will receive it so you can let it go and live your life, knowing that it’s coming soon. And when you let go entirely, up to the point of almost forgetting about it, it shows up immediately! Trust me, it works. I do it all the time.


      3. When you almost forget about it, do you still visualize and send heart energy as daily basis? Then how do you forget about it? I seem always to have the same problem to do both (visualize and let go) at the same time. Do you have any good suggestions? Thank you!


      4. You don’t HAVE to visualize more than once, that’s the thing. Never do the techniques as if you must do them. You only do what makes you happy.
        I’ve talked about this but don’t worry about it, this whole thing can be a learning process.
        When I ask, I visualize once. Then, I ALMOST forget about it because if it comes to mind, I enjoy a spontaneous visualization I get or do one that I feel like doing when the idea comes to me and then let it go again. Then, I forget about it again. When I forget about it entirely, that’s when it manifests. Sometimes, that happens after only visualizing once and other times, after visualizing a few times.
        You always do what makes you happy, the techniques that make you happy only for as long as they make you happy.


      5. Dear Nina,

        This morning I replied his texts which he sent me 2 weeks ago. He didn’t respond. I am aware I almost go back to the circulation of being worry, upset and analyzing many possibilities which will only create more of unwanted. Though I trust the Universe and am confident to know the relationship is mine, but it is not that easy to ignore his “no reaction” and overcome the negative feelings which will only slow my manifestation. So I have this thought:

        I found that when we had no contact, I manifested him more easier. On the contrast, when we’re in contact, there’re so many resistances and circumstances that happened one after another. Could it be possible that I wasn’t quite in the high vibration when the manifestation first appeared? Another word, I am not happy enough and wasn’t ready to be in my desired relationship yet. So, if we stay in the β€œno contact” status, I will be able to raise and keep steady of my vibration and then the manifestation will come fully and easily? Does it make sense to you? Will it be too extreme?

        Thank you!


      6. No, it makes perfect sense because letting go makes anyone feel better. Let’s face it, attachment feels like crap – one feels something missing when attached. On the other hand, love and letting go feel good.
        When you don’t think about writing to him and feel good, he comes to you. When you feel like you want to talk to him, you manifest more of the “wanting.” Let go entirely and trust that it will be yours. Then, you will receive it.
        Also, thank you for sharing this so honestly. It gives me a chance to help you relax and you are helping your fellow readers by example. You have let go once, when you didn’t check your messages, and you can do it again. But this time, you can let go of the relationship so that it can manifest.


      7. Does my new thought sound like β€œletting go” to you?! I didn’t know it does! All I know is that the way we interact to each other right now doesn’t make any good to our new relationship. On the other hand, it could harm the pure love and feelings. And I don’t want to ruin it just because I might not be ready for it.

        So guess staying in the β€œNo contact” status is a good choice to me right? I don’t feel I am giving it up, cause I rather manifest big desire with him πŸ™‚

        Thank you for understanding my point and ultimate goal, and your support! πŸ™‚


      8. It does πŸ™‚ Knowing that it’s happening and not caring how can make you so relaxed that you forget about all your social media, email, texts, iPad and smartphone. Just be sure and live your life – that is letting go. It’ll happen.


      9. Hi Nina,

        I heard Abraham Hicks suggests people who want to manifest a specific lover easier is to make the desire general. Cause that way the specific man will not become a prize and we won’t feel the competition. The resistance will be reduced. So according to her, whichever the man who shows up will be the one we want.

        I still love my desired relationship with the specific man though I have put him on my shelves now. As you’ve known my recent situation, if you were me will you change your desire to general? Or you will still stick to the love feeling with the specific man and manifest this particular man?


      10. People manifest what they believe so I would believe I have the relationship with a specific man and manifest him. You must work on your belief if you still want him.
        When I ask for something, I know that I must receive it.


  4. Hi Nina,

    I couldn’t respond to your last comment, but thank you for that feedback. What you say is so true, and in reality common sense. A needy and desperate person is not attractive to most people.

    I think the challenge for a lot of us, is that we feel great until we really start to care or love someone. That’s where the fear starts to kick in, because you know you really care for this person, and without realizing it, you change from the confident person they were attracted to, to a needy and scared one who now worries any time you are apart, and is even worried when you’re together.

    In our past interaction with my guy, he fluctuates between being very sweet and loving, to really cold and hurtful in some ways. I now understand from your blog, that this is probably a reflection from him, on how I feel for myself. I probably love myself sometimes, and then at others I’m extremely critical and looking for outside validation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s good to know because now you can practice self-confidence primarily for yourself and then your relationship can benefit from it.


  5. I have another question. I have a bill that I just wanna get rid of completely. How would I live in the end that it’s in the past and know that it is completely paid? Because I hate having to withdraw money for bills. I prefer it to be automatically taken out but that option is not possible so I want it gone completely. What do you suggest? Thanks again!


    1. Hi Sav! I suggest that you ask for it to be taken care of and then, be happy that it has. Just like anything else, believe it has all been worked out or that it’s all going to be fine and let it go. Then, leave the bill alone and don’t worry about it. Just believe it was sent by mistake, that it’s insignificant or anything else you decide that makes you feel good.
      Don’t think about any aspect of it that you dislike, such as withdrawing money. Never give energy to anything you dislike.
      You can also say that you feel grateful for the bill being cancelled. Believe that this is yours and let it go. Dare to believe you can have what you want πŸ™‚


  6. Nina. Hi.

    Are you positive that 11:11 or 1:11 or the elevens in general is a good sign? Was that your experience? Did you see this before you attracted the person? It has just started up again.


    1. Number sequences appear when my thoughts are aligned with my desire, any desire I am manifesting. Not all signs appear every time – different signs appear at different times and sometimes, I manifest so fast that there are no signs.
      However, if you want any specific sign to mean any specific thing, you can ask for it and it will. LoA is all about choices.
      Just remember that signs follow awareness and are the Universe’s way of telling you that your desire is on its way. When you are sure it’s yours, signs confirm that. When you are unsure and a sign show up, be sure that it’s yours! Without being sure that your desire belongs to you or at least believing it can be, signs don’t help. Signs follow belief. When you believe your desire is yours, you manifest.
      When I see them, I am positive that my desire is manifesting and can let it go again. I can remember a few times I saw many signs right before a desire manifested but if I let it go to manifest after seeing those signs.
      The Universe was telling you that your thoughts were aligned with your desires so believe it! Then, let it go again and let it manifest.
      Here is my post on it:


      1. Really? Because I am feeling upset and stressed because I want to quit this. He is bringing a person with him who i am positive has told him in the past to be weary of me. The timing coincides with when he cut me out of his life. I did say it would be ok to bring other people and even suggested he bring his parents, so you can see just by that how far I have come. He told me hes bringing a friend that is really interested in the event, he only refers to them as a friend and i maybe jumping to conclusions as for some reason he felt the need to tell me this persons age and they are even older than me. But I’m worried because he seems to have to pass everything through this woman FIRST before making any decisions from what I could gather on the phone last night, he had to ask her FIRST if this was a good idea for him to try out, she is some kind of practitioner who is interested in this event we want to go to. What i am worried about is that he will end up shafting me that day and doing the work with her instead of me. Just when i get over him having to tell his parents everything, i find out there is another person who he runs everything past.
        I see the 11:11 1:11 etc when I want to get out of it and i don’t know if it means yes just let go forever and find someone else or they are trying to tell me to calm down. He also said he wouldn’t go back to not speaking to me and wouldnt block me, but did refer to me, as he has in the past as ‘the crazy girl” UMmmm ive never done anything to make him think i was and he took on this opinion from other people and his belief system which is that I should have appeared in his life differently. Ummm i said to him ‘do you really still hold that opinion of me that I am crazy?’ and he said “well im speaking to you arent I? You can see by his response there what he is like. I think im most upset at myself for realising today that the attachment and want to be with him is still there and to strong and anything seems to affect me and that maybe i need to just come from a point of view of letting go completely. I know you will read this and think I have swayed but i havent. I felt devastated, i would have liked for him to bring his parents instead of someone he seems to have to run everything past. I find that worrying. Its like he has a dependence on that woman yet he spoke to me of some issues that are still affecting him from 3 years ago. The question i wanted to ask him was do you think this is actually working? You still have the same issues i brought up with you years ago, but i didn’t because if he cant see its not working then I know bringing it up wont help.
        Sorry about my grammer and spelling. My eyes are puffy and red and i feel tired and annoyed at myself. the 11:11 thing, i dont know if they are saying calm down and stop stressing or yes, move on.


      2. Don’t worry dear. And don’t worry about him – just work on your belief. If you are sure you will get what you want, you will. Worrying about all these people and HIS decisions is basically worrying about how it’s all going to happen or if it’ll ever happen, and you don’t want those thoughts. I know you said you still believe but for that reason alone, don’t entertain any contradicting thoughts. You have to believe you’ll get what you want and not worry about anyone else. Just bring your focus back to the relationship. If you keep worrying about the details, that shows attachment. Let it go πŸ™‚


  7. I dont know if I am upset because he is bringing someone who I am sure is the one of the ones who told him I wouldnt be good for his life. Based on nothing! or I am not sure if i am upset because I wont get that alone time with him I wanted without it always feeling like someone is hovering and lurking around like his mum used to do with the text messages. I dont know.


  8. I feel so ashamed that I cried I think from fear.
    I think I cried also because I felt like maybe he still doesnt trust me at all and needs a ‘bodyguard’ there.
    Or i cried because I feel like I am not in control of the situation. I dont know.
    Im sorry everyone. I had a bad day today.


  9. Either way, I’ve been crying for the last 6 hours. Ive had moments when I’ve realised I really loved him, but in that split second when I felt I would lose him, i really felt it. I’m sorry again. I’m not having a very good day. It’s the first bad day I have had in awhile. Sorry. I feel so embarrassed. I just think wow, what a baby you are at the crying.


    1. Don’t be sorry. Everyone cries at times. Take deep breaths to help you calm down and take yourself away from all those negative thoughts.


  10. I feel as if Ive been on trial for something I never did for 4 years. I’m exhausted from feeling like I have to keep proving my innocence to him. I’m tired of him believing everyone else except me and my family and friends who contacted him.

    I read your messages. thanks. I will shift my focus.


    1. If you still want him regardless of your past with him (and I know you do but just saying), you have to start feeling differently about yourself. YOU are the one who feels like you’ve been on trial and now, you can imagine and start to feel appreciated by him instead xx


      1. Yes. I know you are right. I’m just going to do what you said don’t worry about him etc etc and just get on with my life.


      2. Oh man again I saw 11:11 when wanting to give up.
        If I don’t end up going to this event is that ok also? Can you understand how I’m feeling kinda? My friend just said to me why is he bringing a practitioner to an event you’ve invited him too? It’s like You invited him and he immediately went and told someone else about it that he knew would be interested in it. I don’t know what to think now.


      3. When your goal is to feel good about yourself, your actions will follow. You have to do what makes you happy, whether that means going to or missing this event. Follow your heart.


  11. Somehow my manifesting/affirmation book, where I have written for a week straight that I had put away, has found its way to my writing desk. I could have easily picked it up with other books and not realized as i put it between some books, but its stuck between a book about my name and in it is says “Anything your heart desires will come to you’ and when I looked at the cover of my affirmation books there is words on it and my eye first went to the word believe. I opened up my affirmation book to see the affirmations I had written and wonder how i went from that level of gratitude to this level of fear. Gee, today really was the day for tears. sorry again. I dont know whats come over me, anymore.


    1. All good πŸ™‚ Raising your vibration can involve getting some negativity out. Now, you can focus on the positive πŸ™‚


  12. Its over Nina.

    He just informed me that he will not be my partner for the event and that i am to notify the event people to make sure they know in advance. He doesnt want to have to touche me. Maybe because he is afraid he might realise how wrong he was about me.

    Do you remember how i kept telling you about the dreams I was having?

    I already knew he would do this also. Im gifted. But not just any kind of gift.

    He said due to our past that he doesn’t think its wise.

    I wrote back everything i had ever wanted to say to him, not bad, just direct.

    I then threw my affirmation book in the bin.

    Its over for me. I cant do another day of this. ever again. Ever.

    I’ve blocked him on all social media sites. He KNEW i needed to partner with him because i had no one else and he still did that.

    He had to ask this ‘faith healer” if the event would be good for him before he even went to it. That to me shows dependency.

    He is still talking about the same problems we spoke about 4 years ago, yet this faith healer takes money off him for 3 years and he cant even catch on that its not working? How is he ever going to catch onto me?

    My friends and family texted him and called him and tried to tell him over and over again that whoever has told him that i shouldnt be trusted not to listen to them and he never replied to them. He doesnt want the truth. a total of over 15 people contacted him.

    He doesnt want me. He never has. He rejected me after the first day he saw me after 8 months of not seeing each other.

    my friend sent him a huge text message back in novemeber listing all the predictions I had made in his life that had come true. He never responded. The text blew everything he was convinced about me out of the water. He didnt want the truth.

    Every single person that i ever worked with as a medium came back to me and said “i wished Id listened to” or ‘thank you you changed my life” yet this guy thinks im the devil and to be avoided at all costs.

    Every couple that i put together are still together to this day, while i watch the people who asked for me adivce go against what I said and their lives are in ruins and they end up back at my front door saying what ive heard my whole life. “i wish id listened”

    And the sadest thing of all is that all my life ive been called crazy for being gifted.

    I lived next door to a woman who was seeing a married man. She asked me, ‘is he going to leave his wife for me?’ I said “NO im sorry, he wont. You are going to end up with the man who comes here and drives the white ute” for six monhs she told me i was crazy. that i didnt know what i was talking about. that she wasnt attracted to him. One day i get a knock at the door she says to me “omg you were right, hes everything ive ever wanted, hes everything i ever put down on my list, thank you so much!” They then moved into a house 5 doors down from me and everyday I get to see how happy they are together and its like being stabbed everytime i walk past and see them and that white ute.

    THe person ive been talking about all this time, i had a message for him aswell and he did the same thing to me. He told me I was crazy and that i didnt know what i was talking about. This same man continues to believe the worst about me no matter what I do. Yet on the side of his motorcyle is my name. My real name. If you want to know what my real name is, just look up at the sky at nightime. You will see millions of them-

    I wish all of the best of luck but my journey ends here. I wont do this to myself anymore because I want to be with someone who wants to be with me all the time, not when it suits them and someone who accepts me for who i am and doesnt have to ask other people first if its a good idea.

    I hope all of your dreams come true and i gave it my all for 4 years but this isnt love. This is someone who doesnt understand what love is and never will. Maybe if he would see my affirmation book he would realise what love is but then again he would probably just call me crazy, again. he didnt want it to be me and he didnt want it to be true.

    I hope you all get the love of your lives. All of you deserve it just based on what I have seen here these guys dont know what they lost/will loose. Amazing love caring women. x


    1. I’m sorry to hear but if you feel this way about him and want to find someone better, you will. Sometimes you just realize the person you thought you wanted isn’t it – I’ve ended plenty of relationships soon after I started them for that reason. If you don’t feel good about him, you don’t. You tried and now, you know. It’s OK to realize your desire is not your true desire after all.
      You’d said you wanted to give up today and maybe you just wanted a good reason to give up. Now, you have it. You can always choose someone else. Relationships are a choice.


  13. Thanks.
    Would you want to be with someone like that?

    He cant let go of the past. Its always about ‘our past’ and its always this sick dependency on other people opinions and he wont do anyting unless he knows its going to work or happen or whatever. He even admitted the other night that he cant be alone, like physically. This would be because he cant be alone with his own thoughts.

    I dont regret what I said. I regret his stupidity.

    Sometimes you have to meet people where they are and leave them there. Hes a broken man. He asked for proof of what I knew and what I could do and he was FLOODED with texts and phone calls and references and letters from family and friends and ex clients. No matter how much proof I gave him it was never enough. He would just ignore it. Because hes not enough.


    1. I would never choose a man like that either, you’re right, because the clash of personalities and the lack of love cause conflicts here and constant conflict is demotivating in my eyes. I remove myself from negative people. I have ended relationships with men I concluded were weak, scared etc. You didn’t even need to get back together with him to conclude you didn’t like him so you actually even saved some time πŸ˜‰
      However, it’s always good to try. Then, you decide what and whom you like. You certainly don’t like him and that’s OK. You learned even more about yourself in the past weeks and that is much more valuable! You feel good and know what you want.


  14. It’s not just “our past” he cant let go of, it’s things that happened to him in school, like a teacher yelling at him. The guy is 30 years old.

    I dont hate him. I feel devastated for him to still be experiencing this 4 years after we have met. So that is now 4 different courses he has done to try and fix his issues but STILL HAS THEM!?

    I want the person back who used to message me every morning saying “Good morning” and “goodnight” the person I once knew before he was influenced by these idiots and his own fear. He has no idea of the totality of what he actually lost and it wasnt just me. I’ll just hold onto the memory of when I first saw him.

    He got the proof. He just didnt want it to be true, just like everyone else.


  15. I meant hold onto the memory of when I first saw him as to not have any ill feelings. The only person in the end who was crazy, was him.
    Universe, i’m ready for something different now. Thanks.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I appreciate your openness about this; in fact, I am grateful to you for sharing. You have friends among your fellow readers who will agree you deserve the best and of course, you do. You know you deserve it πŸ™‚ Keep feeling love and gratitude and everything will come together.


    2. Gretta,

      I am sorry to hear what you have been going through. We all know what it is like to love someone that does not feel the same way. Until the timing is right, that is.

      I have been feeling not so great either the last few days. I saw my “friend” last Friday for drinks. It was a pleasant time but I he hasn’t responded to either of my texts since then. Lately, though, that is not out of the ordinary, it is just disappointing. We get along so great but he won’t seem to budge on taking things to a more romantic level. I don’t push him for fear he will stop talking to me completely.

      Everyone in my circle tells me to stop talking to him and move on. Maybe they are right. I am a wonderful, caring, loving, smart, funny woman who loves him for all his strengths and weaknesses yet he doesn’t see that. What more can I do?

      I sometimes want to give up, also, but there is something keeping me drawn to him. I feel deep down that we are meant to be together. It is such a strong feeling. Is it my ego or fear of rejection, though? I just don’t know.

      Will he ever realize how much I love him?

      Love to you, Gretta. We are all here for you and walking this path together. You are not alone.



      1. I am in awe of all of you! The support you give each other is wonderful πŸ’Ÿ
        Bea, exploring why you don’t believe that you can have this relationship will help. In order to manifest, you have to create a relationship you love in your mind and believe that you can have it. You have to feel good in it and believe it’s possible or fully yours. That certainty will remove the need for it. Then, you have to let it happen – that’s letting go.
        You also have to feel good about yourself, the relationship and your specific person.


      2. Thanks for your kind words

        And believe me when I say this. I understand what you say when you mean deep down you know you are meant to be together.

        I called the event person and told them whats going on, she was so cool and said “what if hes shit didnt have to stop you?’ (from going to the event?)

        Really made me question not going.

        I just read over my last words to him. I will never go back on what I’ve said to him that i believe we are meant to be together just based on what I have done and the people I have ‘helped’ over the years plus the story above about the lady and the man in the white ute. When I know something I know it. With every inch of my being.

        But I have still chosen to let go forever. It takes a truck to move this guy and this bullshit he has made vital in his life of having to have other peoples approval or confer with them was the demise. He said it cant possilbly be true, hes one of those people who has bought into the belief systems of his parents, friends and the world. He expected me to show up in a different form. Thats what no one gets. It never does show up the way you think it should. At least not the relationships that actually last. And when I look at the people ive put together that are still together who told me i was crazy when i pointed out the person they were going to end up with, i know it even more.


  16. Hi Nina.

    I don’t believe I can have it because he shows no signs of wanting to rekindle. I have allowed myself to be “friend zoned” and I feel he is okay with that.

    Do you know of anyone successfully getting back together with an ex? Everyone keeps telling me it ended for a reason and that’s that.

    You have been very supportive and patient with is all. Thank you. xx


    1. I am so happy to provide support and I know all of you can make this happen.
      I never wanted to manifest an ex back but several of mine wanted to get back together after our breakup so I got a sense of the way everything works. When the person you want continues to say the opposite of what you want to hear, some find it difficult to shake that.
      However, you manifest what you believe you can have. You can practice believing that you have changed his mind by showing him immense reason to love you and want to be with you again. You have to feel good about yourself, the relationship and your ex.
      Two years ago, I briefly advised a girl who did get back together with her ex. He had gone from not wanting to be with her and being uncomfortable about her modeling work to being her biggest support. That is just one example but I thought of it now.
      People get back together all the time. As soon as your energy changes from missing someone to being happy or being happy with them, seeing yourself with them, it happens.
      In the comments, here is a story of a reader who successfully manifested her ex back:
      In this article, you can find my overview of the steps for attracting an ex back:
      You also have to listen to yourself before anyone else πŸ™‚ Especially those who tell you the opposite of what you want. YOU decide on your life.


    1. Bea.

      He once said that he believed me, then he believed everyone else instead. They want him to have a life as small as theirs. Why should he break free from his past and his poverty consciousness when they don’t want to themselves or want him to either? Where would they be without him being broken? Where would their identity that they are so used to go? It would mean they would loose him, so to keep him stuck where they are that’s what they did. Filled his head with shit about me and robbed his chance for real change, why should he be happy when they are not? I”m not interested in pity parties or mothers who frighten their kids through text messages, what kind of mother does that? one who wants her kid to be dependent on her, or faith healers that do nothing but make someone dependent on them. I am interested in people who want to change and heal their lives and HE DOESN’T WANT THAT. HE WANTS the pain and the drama and the suffering. He wont work with me because he knows that I would be the one person to show him the truth and clear this bullshit hes been carrying for years and years. So he instead jumps from course to course, person to person forming dependencies, not wanting any change so he can continue on the same path of the points of view of his family and his worldly conditioning. I gave him the key to real lasting change that helped me 5 years ago, he didn’t do it, instead he did another course, and another. On the phone the other night I offered again to show him how he could rid himself of all this issues. The resistance was phenomenal. He doesn’t want change. If he didn’t, he would have listened and taken action instead of staying in courses for years when i can clearly see he is in the same position he was 3 years ago. He wants his life to stay as small as possible. He ENJOYS the pain.

      That’s all i ever wanted to hear from him. I believe you, I believe in you. I’m sorry.

      I’ll take that I got my apology and my ‘i believe you’ through him, from you xx


  17. Hi Gretta/Bea, i read your posts and sending loads of love and good vibes on your way.

    I am working on my belief system and my self confidence daily. I want to reach the point where I have a positive belief for each limiting belief and nothing affects me in a negative way. I have planned to keep working on it. And one thing I learned somewhere is if “Let it go” feels a little hard to do/say, say “Let it Be” . And it feels better to me.

    So let it be, ask your heart what it wants (as Nina says) and stick to that. It is giving me instant relief…

    More than anything to work out, I want to prove myself that this LOA works everywhere. It is a great relief to mere think about this way…

    Thank you Nina for this portal. It feels like a shelter to me… English is not my first language so i hope you all understand what I mean. ☺

    Love and Light


    1. Dear All,

      I am also manifesting my specific man who seems to determine not to β€œread” my texts. But I would like to share a past experience of mine with you. (Please forgive my English πŸ™‚ )

      5 years ago I had a relationship with a guy who had a short temper and unstable energy but also had some qualities I admired. Most of the time I was not happy because our relationship was unsteady and I was influenced by his unstable emotion all the time. I can’t count how many times we had broke up. I started to attend the meditation classes in order to change my miserable life and that’s where I learned about unconditional love and sending love. Though I didn’t have a clear concept of LoA at that time, I meditated and visualized a peaceful and happy life with him before I slept everyday. Gradually whenever he has a short temper, his behavior became funny in my eyes cause I looked at him with love. (I didn’t know it will be more help to only think about his good sides.) I love him as how he is so I didn’t want to change him if he chooses to be, but I have choices. Therefore I letted go with love. Of course I still cried my eyes out like Gretta when I finally figured something I knew I had to move on.

      Slowly and day by day, I feel peaceful and happy. That’s also the time I met my specific man when I had a wonderful vacation. And you know what, now that short temper guy tried many times to get back together with me, but now I don’t want it! I think my past visualization manifested. But guess because I had no knowledge that I also need to have an affirmation and plus I don’t want it now, the manifestation doesn’t come as a completed package. Hope you understand what I am saying. πŸ˜‰

      Even though I have had that experience, it doesn’t make me an expert of manifestation as Nina. At least it implies me that LoA could work. Just depending on how you apply it and understand it! I’ve got nothing to lose cause it gives me a positive life style attitude! After all, I am in a very different situation from the previous one, so I am still learning to deal with many things. When I am alone, I fill up the time by listening to the audio of Abraham Hicks on Youtube or reading Nina’s articles because they are all very positive.

      Just share with everyone here who deserves a loving and committed relationship.


      1. The beauty is that anyone can be an expert at manifestation if they start to examine their former practices and see how they felt during them πŸ™‚


  18. It’s time for me to go. I can’t come back to the site anymore, it’s time to move away from this situation and anything that reminds me of the hope I once had.

    Thanks for all the help.

    I hope you all get what you want. xx


    1. I can’t help but notice that no one has manifested their love back, including me. And, sadly, now Gretta has given up and moved on after she had so much hope earlier in the week. It is hard to stay positive and keep believing when there is so much sadness lately.

      I commend you, Nina. You are a strong person to stay positive when we all have so many questions and doubt.

      I haven’t felt like visualizing or writing much lately. That’s okay, though. Deep in my heart, the Universe knows my desire.

      I appreciate all the support and stories from everyone. It is nice to know I’m not alone.


      1. Thank you πŸ’Ÿ I still believe in every one of you but it is important to be happy in life to manifest your desires. I would recommend everyone to work on developing self-confidence now, as life is, and focus on what you have instead of everything you are missing. Feeling gratitude for what you have will allow you to feel good now and let go of your desire to manifest.
        Many achieved improvement but some changed their minds or still feel some resentment towards the past or their specific people but every situation can be improved by choosing to believe and focusing on the positive. Developing self confidence allows anyone to think more positively abt themselves and believe they can manifest.


      2. For example, you saw your man for drinks and said you hadn’t spoken since but you are making progress. Be happy for what you already received, stay focused on your end result, live a rich and fulfilling life now, love everything you have and you will get everything you want πŸ™‚ Don’t have specific expectations for every time you talk but know that you will get your desire and let it happen πŸ™‚ Focus on everything you have and have achieved so far xx


      3. I know what you say is true because everyone is always telling me that I need to stop beating myself up so much, change my perception of myself, be more confident and don’t be so hard on myself. I know low self esteem and confidence isn’t attractive to anyone and doesn’t feel good. I just don’t know how to go about building myself up.

        What’s most frustrating is, I have other men interested in me except the one I really want! Lol


      4. Let me suggest a few things πŸ™‚
        1. Don’t think you need to be perfect to have the relationship you want. You’re amazing enough already. Just focus on the positive and you will be an even better person.
        2. Think of everything you now love and appreciate about yourself and your life – feeling gratitude for it will bring even more things to be grateful for.
        3. Repeat affirmations that reflect your positive feelings about yourself. Think about the kind of person you want to be and decide that you CAN be that person! Think about what your life is like after you have become that person. Do you love it?
        4. Do something for someone else – it will make you feel even better about yourself. When we give something with love, we expand our heart energy and attract ten times what we gave back into our lives πŸ™‚
        These small rituals will bring a change in your habits and allow you to feel differently about yourself. It is all about developing new habits, new feelings and therefore, a new awareness. You can think that you are amazing and that you deserve everything. Why would you not think so?
        You deserve to feel GREAT about yourself πŸ™‚


  19. Don’t let my situation effect yours. I made a choice to let go because I cant go another day being made to feel like I am some kind of danger or threat to him and that’s why he had to bring someone with him. It’s not deserved. He took on the beliefs of people around him and cant make a decision in life without having to discuss it with other people first. I know that this wont change for him because he said to me once that he tells his parents everything. I would never feel as if we were in a relationship with each other because he has morbid dependencies with other people and cant live his life without consulting others first. I would always be wondering what i can tell him, my fears, hopes, dreams incase he goes and runs off to tell everyone. I wouldnt feel as if my feelings were respected or sacred. Do i believe you can attract people you want? yes. I do. I always have. Ive done it in the past but it was only when i forgot about them entirely and moved on with my life. Everyone is different. Dont let my situation affect yours. He made a choice to stay in the past and i left him there.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Am i upset? Yes. But when someone can let someone down like that I think he will always let himself and me down also. He lives in the past. Friends he has lost that he still has nitemares about. Teachers telling him off in school. Girls he dated that are now marrying other people. He wants to live in sorrow and i don’t. I want a happy life with someone who is not afraid of everything and codependent on others to tell him how he should live his life. I would always feel like i have to lift him up in life. That would become exhausting. I tried. I did. I tried everything but he remains stubborn and to me stubborn people are stupid, it makes them miss out on things in life.


    1. Hi Nina,

      So, I’m enjoying my weekend with my guy. He is being much nicer than other times so I’m grateful for that… But there is still some work to do. He is still not talking about where we are or what’s happening between us. And at one point he was telling me about a vacation he is planning on taking with his mom when he said “well, if I’m not married by then… And then he said well i will for sure not be married by then” which made me a little sad because it’s some time in the future so I was hoping we might be married by then. I’m really sure I want to be with this guy so I’m really trying to get us to that point where we are in a relationship and I don’t have to wonder or worry about how long it will be before we see each other again (he lives on the other coast of the US)

      Any recommendations?

      Thank you. And I still believe πŸ™‚


      1. It is not up to you to “try and get” you to that point – it is up to you to believe it’s yours already and feel love πŸ™‚ You are still needing the relationship to happen which shows you don’t believe you have it yet. As long as you need, you will keep needing. You have to trust that the Universe will bring it to you, be happy about it and then, you will be able to spend time with him and communicate with him happily as well as let go, knowing it is going to happen.
        I know you believe it’s possible but you don’t believe it’s yours now. You are depending on his reaction to believe it’s yours but what you should do is believe it is yours now just because you decided so and therefore, it is now happening πŸ™‚


  21. I only come here on and off because sometimes I feel there is a lot of resistance (which comes along with the territory of course so no judgment here) and if I’m not in the right mindset it can affect me. ( working on it) but I love to read everyone’s experiences while I’m on my journey ..

    I think this is the biggest issue we all have, myself included – in many ways Nina’s advice has the same bottom line : KNOW it’s yours and carry on with your life – how it comes, when it comes, where it comes, in what box, what colors, what underwear you will be wearing none of that matters – the moment we start wondering about these things we’re resisting : we want to know what it looks like so we know if we’re closer or farther because we’re actually not sure if we’re remotely in the right direction…

    The main take away i get from this is : lighten up. We’re all so serious …soooooo dependent on the outcome and the person we want to be with because ___________ fill in the blank. it’s like we’re studying for the exam of a lifetime, as if your entire future depended on it. And then our ego gets involved because we’re doing all these chores for the sake of our perfect future with dude or dudette and we are hurt and upset when we notice don’t the return on investment ( any finance specialist will take you sometimes these take some time to show up). I myself hate that feeling, when I’m sitting there wingeing about why this or that is not happening and I want this and that now and it makes me feel bad about myself to think that I’m not appreciated, or not attractive enough or whatever the hell is the flavored excuse of the day to keep me in my comfort zone. So I do my best to not stay there too long : why would I make myself feel bad on purpose? seriously : why…..?

    Somewhere deep down you’re comfortable with the limiting beliefs that”s why it’s so hard to let it go. You’re used to thinking the way you’ve been thinking that got you here in the first place – that is why you might be able to get out of the funk for a little but at this time your naturally inclination is to go back to how you thought because you’ve been thinking it long enough that now you believe that’s how it is … and getting out of that pattern is work, no lie, no shortcut – it’s work but it doesn’t have to be a chore. it’s work but it doesn’t have to be difficult – when you enjoy the process it no longer feels like a difficult thing to do.

    And maybe, just maybe giving up is the best thing to do for you, for now – because when you give up you let go. You stop the ‘work’ and there is an ease, a release that comes with it. Except if you attach it with anger or any other strong lower vibrating emotion, in that case you’re just repeating the same belief and staying in your comfort zone and groundhog day-ing.

    When you know something is meant, you know it will happen. You don’t care about details, you don’t even care about delays – you planned your trip and it’s happening, there might be some little things about hotel availability or the lack of window seats ( hate aisle seats … with all the love in my heart of course), but you won’t cancel your entire trip just because you’re not sitting where you wanted to sit in the plane, or because the sea view in the hotel might not be available, or because you forgot to pack in your toothbrush, or because the weather forecast might be bleak… you go knowing that regardless what happens : you’ll wing it, your focus is the vacation – the process to getting there is SO irrelevant ..and if you get there and you don’t like the vacay after all : you’ll go back home with a story and a clear indication that the North Pole is really not that great out of Christmas Season without the elves and all the weird magical people … and you’ll move on with your life.

    it’s not that serious my loves, it never is… never was . I don’t care what he’s doing or not doing, who he’s doing it with or not ; it has nothing to do with my worth as a woman and the fact that he might be surrounded with shiny things but I am the only real diamond in his life – not ego… just my track record.

    You can take a 500 dollar bill tramp on it, tear it here and there, dip it in mud … it’s still a 500 dollar bill and NO ONE would say no to it…no even your dude or your dudette, they might have tramped on you and torn you a little but you’re still worth everything you believe you’re worth.

    So, to end my rant of the day because I was inspired, I’d like to share a clip that really boils down to everything Nina is saying on here … when you cling to a thought, a set of behaviors you’re just reinforcing a belief that is not serving you … stop it.

    There is actual blessing in your not being in the relationship right now because of the emotional dependency you feel. Nobody can handle that kind of pressure, not even your awesome object of affection. They’re just people with their flaws and shortcomings and they make mistakes : not being with you is their biggest one yet (OBVIOUSLY::) but if you send the right vibration and shine like a lighthouse in their lives, you can help them find their way back to you.

    Lighten up my darlings, give yourselves a break, compassion and love – you’re not in this situation to prove anything you don’t have a life threatening disease : you’re just in love and that is actually a really REALLY beautiful thing …it could be worse .. you could be Donald Trump :p


      1. I am sooooo glad Gretta – especially reading you is what struck a chord for me, you sound amazeballs !! Never let anyone make you feel otherwise πŸ™‚ plus you have magical powers … like … how does anyone even beat that πŸ™‚


    1. Hahaha @ the magical powers bit. I gave up my gift when he rejected me and thought I was just trying to pull something on him. I know he had feelings by the way he would look at me. Next thing I know he’s saying I was trying to manipulate him. The same time he was getting scary messages from his mum when we were together.
      I just wish he heard me like all the others did. I’m going to a wedding next week of a couple I put together 5 years ago. They told me I was crazy also. Gonna be so emotional. I wish he heard me.
      Anyway. That’s what happens when someone has been so deeply ingrained to believe love should turn up the way the world has told them it should, they miss ‘their message’ completely and the person who was standing in front of them the whole time.


      1. you know, you’re a powerful woman – with great powers come great responsibilities. I have a gift of my own and I have always said it’s not mine to keep it’s mine to share because it is a very selfless one.

        We’re not all at the same level of consciousness and we don’t all see the same thing even when we look at the same direction.

        There is a belief that others are a reflection of things we feel ourselves, if we are insecure we notice insecurity in other people and around us, when we’re worried we find more reason to worry. We might even choose partners that make our worry bigger; or our insecurity bigger because it’s the main focus in ourselves.

        What if this was an opportunity for you ? how could you turn this into something amazing without feeding the anger of the unfairness? Plus he seems like he’s quite on a journey himself with gurus and people who need to tell him what to do in his life, did you ever consider that maybe he’s preparing to become the man he needs to be to have the relationship you’ve envisioned to have? and what looks like something that is not happening on your terms is actually just prep work?


  22. You Lyly – Just blew my mind and rocked my world all at the same time. You just asked me EVERY single question I asked myself today.

    Yes – I know what you mean about the consciousness bit and sometimes I do forget because I can see it and wonder why no one else can, i dont even know why my guides would tell me so far in advance about a couple or why I would even have to go through being called crazy before hearing the inevitable “Omg! You were right! or “omg! I wish I had listened!”

    Yes to what you said about the reflection etc.

    Its the last paragraph you have written that has blown my mind. It almost made paranoid and I started thinking that maybe you even knew me. I live in the question, its the only way to not close yourself off from all possibilities. But this time I stopped asking questions because it hurt to much this time so much that i cant even eat.
    I know hes on a journey and I have been impatient. But everytime we come so close to seeing each other again he does something like this. I dont know if its because he feels as if he is losing control and he needs to be in control or If i am just delusional. In his message he wrote that ‘I am to inform the event people at we are not coming together and not to be partnered on the day.’ I only just found out yesterday that they partner you based on vibration and energy so we may not have even got to partner with each other or maybe we would have. What would he have done? Said infront of everyone that he didnt want to go with me? It seems to be the same, whenever he senses we are getting close or along he does something like this. We talk on the phone for an hour and get along, he does something to reinforce his control.

    Did i ever consider that maybe hes preparing to become the man he needs to be to have the relationship you’ve envisioned? Yes and that is another question i asked myself today. I have for so long been hearing “hes not ready” and ignoring it.

    Its only when i read this quote today that started me questioning and then I looked back at all the events of when we were meant to met up for something. I dont know if he is scared or If i am just delusional anymore.

    Then i saw this ‘Every great work, every big accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement, comes apparent failure and discouragement.

    Im terrified hes going to keep hurting me now after what he said.


  23. It’s every time! Last time he was meant to lend me something and he was all cool about it, offering me these stuff I needed, next day its “I don’t feel comfortable”
    The event “I’m in! Count me in! I’ll be there!” He then sends me that message above after we get along for an hour on the phone and for an entire week.
    WTF? seriously? He flips in a day.
    I’m losing my mind with him being there, everything is cool, next day he’s making excuses and saying again “you know how i feel about you. I don’t feel comfortable and that his intuition told him so!’ Hes intuition didn’t tell him shit! Maybe its just a coincidence but he seems to pull this shit right after we get along.
    Is it just a coincidence? I have no freaking idea.


    1. I hear ya .. ambivalence has got to be one of the most annoying things to deal with. However, if you keep reacting the way you always have you’ll keep getting what you always got. I see opportunity here to consciously do things differently – to stop making it about him and hold on to your vision ( if that’s what you choose ) and not react like you usually would .. situations keep happening over and over and over again until you change something : what are you going to change this time so the same pattern doesn’t repeat itself. So here usually he comes close, you’re hopeful, then he retracts, you become doubtful then he comes close, you’re hopeful, then he retracts; you’re doubtful …and this is the never ending story of life happening to you.

      If you change it up it’s a bit more empowering already : you’re hopeful, he comes close, then you’re doubtful (because it’s too good to be true ), he retracts – you’re heartbroken take a break and then get vibrating again so you’re hopeful, he comes close, you’re doubtful, he retracts, then you’re hopeful; he comes close, then you’re doubtful (because it’s too good to be true since he always retracts anyway), he retracts … nd this is the never ending story of deliberate creation. Ideally you would cut the doubtful part which is linked to the retract part no? you don’t really need it me thinks…

      Did you consider as well that he keeps trying to stay away from you but somehow it never completely lasts – you’re both playing a tango but one of you, is going to have to do a different step if you want this dance to look different.

      I say ride with it … from here on out believe that everything and i mean EVERYTHING is actually bringing you closer to your relationship – even the stuff that looks like it isn’t .. maybe that’s the turning point and you don’t even know it.. you don’t have to see the whole plan unfold in front of you .. just believe that every step is getting you there … regardless!

      Maybe believe is the wrong word, I’m a control freak and the word believe actually tickles my ego bone because it makes me feel passive – decide, choose, assume that every single thing – even him saying make sure they don’t partner us together (he thought of you together and doesnt want it 😦 passive life happening syndrome OR he actually thought of you guys ending up together because that would be the logical thing to happen … opportunity πŸ™‚ you decide it is actually taking you closer to your relationship … don’t try to analyse, don’t try to figure it out , don’t try to understand – just assume even when it don”‘t look it.

      You know how when you watch a movie and that part looks like it’s really bad and people are never going to get out of the situation : you watch with intent because you KNOW it will work out you’re just curious to find out how the movie will unfold .. it’s hollywood : it always ends up with a happy ending, regardless of how it begins.

      Stop wanting it to go the specific way you envisioned at the time you envisioned, you’ll only get frustrated when it doesn’t happen. He’s doing a journey of his own and if you really; truly; deeply; unconditionally love him … then you will let him process in his own time because in the end you want him to be happy too …right?

      i told you I have some gift of my own :p not as impressive as yours though πŸ™‚


  24. Far out!

    I don’t know what to say. I’m blown away.

    Thanks so much. First smile I have had on my face in 2 days. First 2 paragraphs I was laughing my head off. The rest is all true also.

    Are his problems as bad as what they seem? I don’t know. Maybe I just keep focusing on those so I don’t have to feel anything and its a way to get myself out of it. It hurts when he calls me crazy, it makes me cry cause I know I’m not and he has a mountain of evidence from my family and friends and ex clients.

    Sometimes I think he pulls out or f*cks it up cause he is scared or just has to be in control, but i hate using excuses cause then maybe I think i am just deluding myself. I don’t want to give up but now I’m just scared and don’t know what to do.

    After reading your posts to me should I take that as a sign? I did ask for one today. I don’t usually. I asked for someone to tell me not to give up. I think maybe i got it from you just then. xx

    Nina? Any thoughts?


    1. Dear Gretta,
      First of all, I am absolutely amazed at you and your fellow readers for being such loving individuals and so supportive of each other πŸ™‚ I am so proud that such amazing people are a part of this community πŸ™‚
      Now, you have told us all honestly how you feel about him and you can’t seem to get past his shortcomings. I understand that you are exhausted trying to do so but the “trying” and the “working” to see him in a positive light won’t work either because you’d be pushing yourself. Instead, focus on at least one good trait of his which you feel that he has and the Universe will give you even more good to focus on.
      If you still want to be with him, think about how you feel with him being the partner of your dreams. YOUR feelings create your life, not his. In order to manifest, you would have to feel positively about him, forgive the past (and forget, if you can) and feel that you CAN do this and that your loving energy can influence him. I know you find it difficult to feel good about him when he seems to try and make you look negatively but if you can and want to forgive that, you will manifest.
      At the same time, if you let go completely, you could also manifest because sometimes when people give up thinking it doesn’t work, it works because they have finally let go.
      Right now, your mind goes to “not having” the relationship but if you practiced how it would be if you had everything you wanted, your mind would slowly go to the feeling of having it. You might have to use your imagination more but you can make it feel real. Just go with it and allow yourself to see it πŸ™‚
      Right now, because you feel negatively about him, you are protecting yourself from manifesting him and believing you could be happy with him. You can manifest a person and a relationship by feeling good and feeling that you CAN have it and could be happy with it in your life.
      You can manifest improved relationships, business partnerships, friendships within days just by deciding that the past is irrelevant, that you will forgive because you are the bigger person and that now, you are entering a new chapter with this person. Focus on the good and forget about the bad. If you have negative thoughts, let them pass and never feel bad about them. Decide that there are simply more important things in life and that you already have so much but can also have everything you want while appreciating your life. Then, go out and buy a new dress, get a massage or do something amazing to show yourself how much you’re worth πŸ™‚ You will then receive even more goodness back from this person than you ever expected xxxx


      1. If you want to be with him and can feel positively abt him NOW, no matter what, knowing that things will work out as you want, his behavior will change and your connection will deepen. If you can see the good in him and happiness with him for you, you won’t be affected by his behavior. If you can believe that this relationship is yours and still want it, you can visualize a world in which you love each other.
        Question is, do you want it and do you believe that even at his best, he could make you happy? Take a few days and think about it, that’s my suggestion xx


    2. You know today was a busy day for me but I felt drawn to this site and to your post even though I usually prefer to stay out of it… But I’m here πŸ™‚ maybe it’s the sign you wanted , maybe not – you decide love because you created me into your reality today to have this conversation.

      What he’s going through is not your concern at this point because you’re also going through your own transformation.


  25. Omg you Lyly,
    After reading ur last comment it feels like I just gulped 19 cans of Energy drink… of being positive and adamant… why won’t this happen? IT HAS TO….

    On all seriousness, it looks like it all comes down to one thig – let it be – keep your eyes on that end result in which he writes I love you on his palm and I add “too ” – let “what is” be – focus on being so awesome , happy and gorgeous that no thing can bring our self love and worth down.

    Thank you. Love and light


    1. Thank you, everyone. I always look forward to hearing all of your advice, stories, experiences, etc.

      I am feeling better more and more each day. I will “let it be and work on me.”

      I am sending you all heart energy.



  26. Hi Nina,

    I wanted to write you more, but I was with my guy, so I didn’t have much time to myself. As I mentioned, overall it was a very nice weekend. He was very nice with me (especially in comparison to the last time we saw each other). He was considerate, would hold my hand, and seemed to enjoy my company. However, he’s still a little hot & cold. We are obviously not “just friends”, but he seemed to make sure to say that we are “friends” over and over. We also did not talk about when we will see each other next. My question is, that it does seem like i have made progress, I just need to figure out how to feel as if I really am his girlfriend now.

    Have you ever had a situation where a guy seems to like you, but he goes from hot to cold, and calls you his friend… leading you to feel that he cares for you, but not in the way that makes a guy want to commit to you?

    Any advice you could provide or a specific example would really help.

    Thank you,


    1. Hi Nina, just want to add or remind that I’ve been going through this situation for close to ten years now. I know I’m not supposed to focus on that but sometimes it’s hard especially when he calls me his friend or confirms that we are not in a relationship. The truth is that I don’t want to live another day apart. I really wish he would feel that way about me. I really wish we could be together already because I have been wanting this for years. I’m crying right now as I write this because it’s so frustrating sometimes. Please help me, I really want to believe in myself but it can be extremely difficult when you’ve had a long cycle of disappointments like mine.


      1. Dear C,
        Your situation can improve just like ANY other because the Law of Attraction only knows of manifesting current beliefs, regardless of one’s past. However, we all have to make an effort to think and feel as if we have our desires in order to receive them.
        You have to forgive the past. Forgive yourself, forgive him for every time he called you a friend because EVERY SINGLE time you get hurt by it, you attract new situations of getting hurt by those words. You MUST decide and feel that your desire is possible and you MUST stick to that decision, bringing your attention back to it every time you relapse and think that you will never get it. You are now allowing your negative thoughts control the outcome by reacting to them instead of becoming aware of your power and knowing that you CAN have everything you want!
        You have to become aware of your personal strength and power which will allow you to feel good about yourself and then, feel love for others πŸ™‚ In order to be in a relationship, you have to be an emotionally strong individual anyway and be able to have your own life as well as be happy with your man so become that person now. There is no reason to feel badly about yourself. We all have rich lives full of people close to us, great experiences, activities etc. and if you have money, a job and a home, you already have more than many other people in the world do.
        I know you’re hurt by his words but you simply have to decide to feel good. No one else can do it for you. I have visualized you telling me you got your relationship and I still see it but the problem is that unless YOU allow it, how is it ever going to manifest? You can do this. Ultimately, there is no reason to hold onto these experiences and if you keep replaying every “we’re just friends” conversation in your mind, you know that you are NOT focusing on what you should be in order to manifest. You have to forgive both yourself and him for every one of those conversations which will allow you to stop reacting to your negative thoughts. You also absolutely have to start feeling good about yourself, nothing can happen without that. He cannot feel good about you if you don’t feel good about yourself, especially since you put him on a pedestal. That is another thing that doesn’t serve you actually – he isn’t better than you.
        Your beliefs must change. They haven’t because your words don’t. You still talk about everything you WANT instead of your desires as if you have them now.
        You have to focus more on self-confidence and visualizing than you do his reaction. If you visualize once and then look for his response in your life, you STILL don’t believe you have it unless he responds. You have to believe you have it and that it is going to manifest because that way, you will stop needing it. And as long as you need it, you don’t believe you have it. We manifest what we believe we can.
        I want you to make yourself a priority from now on instead of him. Give yourself compliments, go over everything you love about yourself, pay extra attention to your appearance because that is a quick way to reconnect with your confidence, think about everything you have in life, everything you know you do well at work, treat yourself to shopping and the meals you love, spend time with people who value you and love you. You have to lift your own mood and create a life that you love because only if you love your life can you bring someone else in it. From now on, your homework is YOU! Every day. Do everything to make yourself feel good about everything you are. You have to be your own priority because you are the person you bring into your own relationship. LoA is all about YOU so this is what you have to do. You know that by now – your feelings create.
        As soon as you make yourself a priority, you will be able to see yourself having what you want because you will feel great about yourself. You will also be inclined to give to others.
        Things can turn around very quickly with a change of focus.
        Look how far you’ve come! Be grateful for it! Now, dare to do more.


      2. Thank you Nina,

        When you say I’m not allowing it, what exactly does that mean?

        Also, I feel happy overall, I really do have a lot of blessings in other areas, but i do feel that happiness is amplified to another level when you are able to share your life with your special person. How do you “fake” that feeling, I feel that it really does require two people to feel that kind of love?

        The other part I feel is a little challenging for me, is how not to feel hurt when the other person does things that are less than loving. For example, I got home on Sunday and since then he didn’t contact me. I feel like a text just to make sure the girl got home safely, should be a minimum of a loving act. It does hurt that he didn’t do that and hasn’t contacted me since. What would you do in this situation?


      3. You allowed other manifestations in your life to happen recently by asking, believing and receiving. You ask and believe that your relationship CAN come but you are not allowing yourself to receive it by being upset that it hasn’t come yet. You have to be happy that it’s yours and live your life, let it go and let it come to you. When you let go, things come to you SO fast! However, every time you are upset that it hasn’t come yet, you are reaffirming its absence.
        Also, when you feel hurt by him, you are putting negative feelings into your relationship, blocking its manifestation once again. You have to be strong. Wanting specific texts falls a little under trying to control the path your manifestation takes because you think he should text if he cares. However, you have to let it happen, knowing that it’s yours and feeling good about it. You can’t feel badly about him and the relationship and manifest at the same time.
        Let him do it his own way if you can truly love and accept him. By complaining about his absence of texts, you are not accepting him and more importantly, you are not accepting yourself – you are feeling sad and badly about yourself because you feel that he should have made a specific move but didn’t and wonder why you aren’t worth it. However, you have to let him make his own moves. You have to let him figure it out for himself. You have to stay in a good mood and trust consistently instead of relapsing every time. It takes a little focus and faith from your end. Practice heart energy and let the rest happen xx


  27. Hey Nina

    Just a question. I am feeling a lot better.

    I just have 2 small questions. Do you believe in Twinflames? A yes or no will be ok and I once read something that really took me back a bit, the quote was “the person who runs the most, loves the most.” That’s why the ‘runner’ puts all these walls up and reinforces friendship only or has to be in control. At the beginning *I* was the runner and I was really really in love with him and that’s why i would push him away and always try and get away from him and tell him to stop contacting me. I couldn’t work out why when I said to him to not contact me anymore if he didnt feel the same that he would tell me what he was doing that day. He didn’t want me to go but didn’t say he had feelings either and I just assumed he just needed someone there cause of the hurt he carries with him. Then I think of the possibility that i really hurt him by doing that and that’s when he starting playing games. I know hes been very hurt in the past, he had friends taken away from him and i suspect a gf left him when he may have needed her the most. The roles are now reversed. I chase and he runs.

    I am not necessarily saying I believe in the box of Soulmate and Twinflame or whatever, but reading that comment “the person who runs the most, loves the most.’ I can relate to it very strongly do you agree? or have any stories where you know this happened to other people?



    1. To me, it makes sense because it’s like “what you resist persists.” If you are resisting a circumstance or a person, they will stay close, always be around, trying to push their way in or you will keep thinking about them.


      1. Thank you, but do you believe the person who is ‘running’ away is REALLY doing it because they love the ‘chaser’ more?

        Like would you classify the person I have been speaking about as loving me and that is why he keeps doing these kind of things or do you think that he keeps me at a distance in-case / or to stop something from happening or because he really does think I am crazy?

        Thats why I asked about the quote. Because In my case people would say that i really was crazy to think that he loves me and thats why he doesnt want any contact alone with me. Not that i give a rats clackers what they think.

        Yes, i know I am meant to be acting like i already have it, got it, but just for this case I am just asking out of curiosity. Do you really think these guys are running because they DO love/have feelings? This kinda goes against everything I know of a man. I’ve been brought up to believe that when a man likes you, you know it. You don’t have to question it. See Paragraph 2

        Thanks. Sorry I’m just curious.


      2. He is resisting and that is why he is running away and people resist for different reasons. I would have to read his mind to know why he is resisting right now, if it’s love or something else, but I don’t think it matters because as soon as you feel that you do love each other and believe it, putting positive feelings into it, he will love you back in the way you can see it, whether or not he does now. I don’t think the rest matters at all.
        However, anyone can resist – those who love you or those who don’t. Resistance has to do with current circumstances, approach, conflicting feelings and it always happens because of someone’s personal reasons.
        Communication happens when people are open to it. People who love each other or don’t can be either open or closed to communication – all of this depends on many factors. If one side isn’t open to it, the other can motivate them to be with love and positive feelings, nothing else.


    1. It makes sense because it describes human behavior but the conclusion is completely true:

      “–always love more, more more, for at the moment when you reach the ultimate level of love you can feel for this individual, and they love you as much as they possibly can, the true nature of your relationship will reveal itself to you both.”

      Thing is, the more you try and prove something to somebody, the less you will succeed because you keep trying too hard. That’s why LoA is so amazing – feel love and the other person basically does all the work, if you can feel only love, believe your desire is yours and feel good about it. This is not at all criticism to those who try and prove something to the person they love who wants to take some space from them – however, the truth is that trying to prove something to somebody makes leads to having to try even more, that is how energy works and how human behavior works as a result. The article supports that by saying that once you just love, the other person comes to you.

      In the end, you have to be strong and fearless to have a healthy relationship. Fearless means daring to be yourself even when it’s hard. You have to bring the best into the relationship and you do that by loving and giving love. However, many were raised to believe that another person would complete them or cater to their needs and they keep confusing love for need which is why I believe the chasers and the runners to be defined as such in the first place when we talk about relationships. Behavior results from one’s internal energy which is also why the author of this article talks about those two roles in the sense of love and energy.

      I know you said that the chase was present with you and your man, roles reversed throughout, but trying to prove something to him is hardly going to make him see it which is why I always advise taking care of your inner energy, KNOWING what you want is yours and letting it happen πŸ™‚ That way, he’ll reach the answers on his own.


  28. Yes to everything you said. I got it now. When I read that article I could feel LOA in it, like the part you highlighted – β€œβ€“always love more, more more, for at the moment when you reach the ultimate level of love you can feel for this individual, and they love you as much as they possibly can, the true nature of your relationship will reveal itself to you both.”

    Although I don’t like boxing things and words soulmates etc, I am glad I found this article again because to me it is the LOA.

    Hmmm. Maybe i have a belief around words like Twin flame and Soulmates. Hahahahahha. It wouldn’t surprise me with all the stuff I have uncovered about myself since I found your site.

    I want to thank you again for your patience, kindness and understanding. I don’t have much human contact so if you see me posting heaps somedays its cause I kinda need to. Even tho I can’t hear or see you or any of you I do feel gratitude to have a place to come and be me and get advice and support.

    I got it now.
    Thanks. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  29. I personally prefer the word Universe but I left it as the lady has written it…

    “As I surrendered, God showed me that I could love him without dying, without pain, without anxiety, without expecting anything in return and that I could do this simply by not only staying in this love but by BECOMING this love: my love for him of which God is an integral part. And that God is not only above me or beyond me, but that His light is also within me. Then, a miracle happened. As I finally allowed myself to love him, this catalysed him into allowing himself to be loved – and vice versa! Suddenly the love between us, instead of looking into the past, found itself being renewed in every moment, just like energy of our ever-green souls, replenishing the vision and emotion on the inside: reaffirming what is and what will be. This love did not need to be concerned with the past or the future: it had been waiting for us in the NOW all along.”

    I think that is beautiful and really shows what can happen if you simply love as if.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Thank you for the response again Nina. I know you recommended Brandon Martins work in the past. Is there a particular book or set that you recommend?


    1. I’m so sorry for all the questions, but I was thinking about something this morning. For behaviours that you don’t like in someone else, its like the law of attraction recommends that you just visualize them different vs. telling them you don’t like how they’re acting.

      For example, a lot of people would tell you that if a guy is doing things like no contact, not calling etc, when he finally does contact, you should say something to him about it, or not take him back so quickly.

      What are your thoughts on this Nina — Action, or visualize with no action? Should I say something to the guy about not calling or texting?


      1. Cannt wait to see Nina’s response.

        What I have learned so far is –

        – If they did something that I didn’t like : It was me who expected that.

        – Take an action only if it feels good. You will get a sudden impulse to do something. If it was my ego, it was a rant and not a message that I wanted to convey. Technically it was a message but I did not feel good. And one more thing is so true that “whatever happens, happens for the best” so I knew it was something for me to learn from it.

        Thank you.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. C,

        Excellentl question. I deal with the same thing and have often wondered how I should handle it. Hold off on replying or saying it bothers me. Or, just being happy he responded (eventually). Lightline did suggest visualizing a different behavior/outcome where he contacts me first or responds quicker and I have been trying that.

        I have read to go no contact for 30 days, but I just haven’t been strong enough to do that. I am not sure what would happen of I did. Will he forget me? Will I forget him? Would it make him see how much he really DOES value and want me? I am unsure.

        You’re definitely not alone! : )


      3. You should do what makes you feel good. Natural manifestation happens when you do what you want and what makes you feel good.
        In addition to that, you really should switch your focus to having your perfect relationship instead of focusing on the current reality which continues to hurt you. You keep resisting the current reality which just can’t improve if you continue to do it. If you imagined your relationship and being together every day, you would not care if he was texting right now and you would probably just receive him coming to you and apologizing for it all on his own.
        Resisting the current reality or the past with someone make you feel bad. Attachment makes you feel bad. However, doing what makes you feel truly good in life and in communication with him will bring results. Imagining your end goal and being grateful for it, trusting that it’s yours, will bring results.


    2. I would sign up for his newsletter which is full of great advice and in it, he talks about his products as well so you can choose.


  31. Thank you Nina, the past few days have been a little difficult for me. I’m going to try your advice, and focus on me and happiness. I know you have already been trying to help me, but if you could also help me to have my relationship with this guy happen faster I would really appreciate that. Thank you, C


    1. Hello C,

      Hope you don’t mind my asking : what difference does it make if it happens now or later? Why do you think you need to happen faster ? What are you really asking with that enquiry ?


  32. Hi Lyly,

    I don’t mind at all. I’ve had this situation for quite some time in my life now (10 years) and during this time I’ve been alone. Plus, my guy and I live across the country, so I would really love for us to already be able to share our lives together, since its been so much time apart and by myself.

    I remember in the movie Harry and Sally when Billy Crystal says “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible ” That’s exactly how I feel. I’ve loved this guy for quite sometime, and I’ve also known that he is the man that I’ve wanted to marry and spend the rest of my life with.

    That is why I would like the rest of my life with him, to be now.


  33. Thank you for your reply on my other post Nina. I know you mentioned your friend had a recent manifestation in another post — I love hearing about other people’s success stories, so if they do give you permission, please post πŸ™‚

    What is the longest its ever taken you to manifest a relationship with a specific person, and have you ever done it with someone you are pretty sure did not have romantic intentions with you?


    1. I have no idea! If I see a man or talk to him, like him and think “Mine!” then I know it’s happening. I always tell my friends that if a specific person they like hasn’t noticed them yet (usually one notices the other first and initiates contact, so to speak, by saying hello or introducing themselves or anything else), they have to give them reason to notice them! Then, they would visualize and/or send heart energy, start running into the person, talking to them and soon, going on dates. Or, the person would do it if they just let LOA do its thing. In the meantime, you enjoy your life and have an amazing time with everything and everyone in it. It doesn’t matter how a person feels at first but when you decide that this is the person you are going to be with, your relationship starts to be created.
      Days to weeks to manifest a relationship. Once I know I want someone, it happens fast because I believe it’s mine. Same with friendships – I have manifested specific people for that type of relationships, too. Several times, the person would contact me on the same day I said I wanted to know them or I would contact them, it doesn’t matter.
      One is never to neglect feeling good about themselves and everything they are. That part is crucial in order to be able to see oneself having everything they want.


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