How to Break Free From “Not Having” Your Desire

The feeling of your desire missing from your life can be annoying, upsetting and can drive you into frantically working to change it in order to attract your desire instead.

I won’t even try to describe that feeling beautifully or eloquently because it isn’t; instead, this feeling is unpleasant and can lower your mood.

However, I am going to suggest several solutions for it.

Remain committed to staying in a good mood!

When your goal in life is to be in a good mood no matter what you do and where you are, knowing that bad mood is a waste of time, you will automatically want to go out and do something for yourself. Every time you fall into the bad mood, you will automatically want to change it.

When you get bored, think about what you would like to do to fix your mood. When you feel low, treat yourself (I hate that expression but it works). Go out and buy something for yourself, treat yourself to a meal you love, have a bubble bath, remember all the wonderful people in your life or, one of my favorites, donate money. In any way to anyone you want. Giving is something that will instantly raise your vibration.

Remember all those LoA sources telling you to get in a good mood first and then, think about having your desire in order to attract it even faster. To that, I want to add that when you remain in a good mood, when it becomes your goal, you will manifest your desires fast anyway.

Repeat affirmations!

When this dark feeling comes to you, you can change it by training your brain to automatically think opposite thoughts. You can repeat affirmations, self-devised or any you have read and liked, training your mind to automatically go to the positive when you think of the negative.

In addition…

You can always use the steps described here. You will notice the similarities.


Why don’t you think you’re amazing?

I preach confidence non-stop because it makes manifestation easy. It helps you stay in a good mood. It makes everything in life easier. Many readers have told me they struggle with maintaining their confidence especially when manifesting relationships.

Confidence is a positive feeling, awareness and attitude. Confident individuals never judge themselves or others – one of the most important lessons we could ever learn. Confident people love their lives because they arrange them in all kinds of positive ways.

Now, do you love or need?

Loving the person you are allows you to love another. Feeling incomplete while thinking that another could complete you will inevitably trick you into thinking that you need them to be the person you always wanted to be.

Truth is, you don’t need anyone – relationships are a choice. You are capable of being happy on your own, allowing love to manifest into your life. Being happy on your own is also very healthy, allowing you to be the best possible partner to the person of your choice.

The most amazing partners are those who can be happy on their own.

Published by Nina Grdic

Life coach, writer, lifelong traveler, music lover and confidence/positivity/Law of Attraction expert.

68 thoughts on “How to Break Free From “Not Having” Your Desire

      1. Yes! At least for me. It addresses the exact issue I had.and reminds me the importance of confidence…which is equated to self love …which then results in strong belief that I am deserving and can have what I want just because I want it. Very cool:)

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Hi Nina,
    I’ve loved your last few posts, they have all been amazing and I have read them through and re read them 🙂
    To cut a long story short my love still just wants to be friends, we had a fight a few weeks ago and hardly spoke since. I realised how needy and insecure I was being and put all my happiness into her basket so to speak.
    I’ve taken a step back and am focusing on me (and still sending her love)
    She has organsied a day out for us tomorrow and messages me this morning about logistics, there was lots of emoticons used and it seemed like she’s excited. (Lunch and parasailing which she gave me vouchers for my birthday) I know deep down she loves me but my question is.
    How do I be excited and turn friends into a relationship?
    It’s not that I’m not excited for tomorrow, but all I have in my head is friends,friends friends. I’m planning to just go and have a great time with no expectation really.
    I see most people wanting contact or to finally see an ex partner. But I have that, and we have been really close and intimate ‘while being friends’.
    Maybe there’s a limiting belief? I’m not too sure, the one thing I know is I need to be happy with myself on my own which I am working on 🙂 and I need to not be so needy and attracted.


    1. Hello dear 🙂 I think it is a limiting belief but I would ask yourself why you’re not excited about the relationship. It sounds like you have a tiny bit of doubt about it being possible or about it being able to make you happy should it manifest.
      I really believe it’s as simple as that. Ask yourself and then let me know.
      And, thank you so much 🙂


      1. Hi Nina,
        I think it’s the belief of having it.
        We spent an amazing weekend together and there’s no reason not to believe.
        I think I need to keep letting go and focusing on me

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hey Nina,
        I think I’ve found where I keep tripping up.
        We had an amazing weekend and she said lots of great things, we were intimate etc and spent some amazing time together.

        I think I keep getting caught with the aftermath of that thinking that more should happen.
        Like Monday her car wouldn’t start so I spent an hour or so with her and dropped her home. No hug good bye but she said lets go to the movies Wednesday night (tonight)
        And I haven’t heard from her since,
        It’s like I expect to hear from her more, that she should message me and want to talk to me. (Even though spending time at the movies is great!)

        For example when we weren’t talking a couple weeks ago I made progress because I ‘let go’ and didn’t have any expectations of what should happen. I know messaging is nothing really and means nothing, but when we were first together we always used to message, so I guess I’m stuck expecting what should happen instead of letting the universe orchestrate it…
        Any suggestions???
        I seem to manifest great things with her but mess up my vibration afterwards expecting us to be all full on again or something…


      3. You’ve described it correctly – it is a little bit of trying to control the process on your end 🙂 Every time you feel tempted to do so, remember that you know this is yours and let go 🙂 Let her do it her own way without getting upset about it – that way, you are projecting great energy of acceptance which increases your feeling of love for her 🙂 If you get upset at the way she does things, you feel less than good about her and being with her by extension which prevents manifestation.


  2. Hi Nina,

    Recently when I visualized, sometimes I felt good, but there’re some moments the thought as “I love him but I miss him. Will I really be with him?” came into my mind. The awareness makes me hesitate to visualize cause I don’t like the feeling of lack.

    What suggestion you have? Thank you!


    1. Before visualizing, tell yourself you have the relationship, say thank you and let that feeling sink in. Just leave it for a few seconds and a spontaneous visualization will come to you.
      As you get used to it, you will feel that you have your desire more and more 🙂


  3. Wonderful post as usual Nina 🙂

    I would like to pick your brain just on something I noticed a lot on my own journey : the concept that the Universe will get you this or something better.

    There is a general consensus that apparently you can have everything you want and be as specific as you want but if the Universe knows of something that’s ‘better’ it will deliver that. Which is all well and good but if I asked for a waffle with vanilla ice cream and nutella chocolate sauce
    , don’t send me a strawberry tart.. no matter how much tastier or better you think it is … just … don’t…..because that’s not what I asked.

    But I do find on the journey of the specific person, it happens often and they will swear up and down about how it’s better than anything they could have imagined and they’re thankful they didn’t get what they actually were asking for. ( I guess they didn’t want it as much as they thought they did).

    i’m in a situation right now where I had a job I loved, forgot to be appreciative of it because it was quite a toxic environment and eventually i lost it in the most random almost serendipitous ways… since i always wanted to make more money and have a more specific profile :I got a new job, double the pay; right next to my house, super understanding colleagues – it’s a dream…. I hate it. I want my old job back with the annoying people, and the stupid rules- i loved it, i had always wanted it and most of the time I was super happy to go to on paper I got something better , but it’s not what I want and I’m not happier for it, I kinda roll with it.

    Is the same thing with the guy : he’s annoying sometimes because he can talk for serious China, he gets so caught up on his own ass it’s fascinating, he has shallow tendencies and doesn’t think straight sometimes, he’s a bit of a coward, is secretive and never here because of his job. He’s said we would do a bunch of things that <we never ended up doing because refer to point 2 and point 7 ( caught up in his own ass and is never here) – but you know what : he's my ass, my little coward idiot and I love how carried away he gets when he talks because he's so passionate, i love his ambition and how he blushes when you tell him something that tickles his ego, I lovehow well traveled he is and I don't care that he had this thing for skinny and easy western european girls on instagram because they will never connect with him to the level that we do-I haven't seen him in months so I know when I do it will feel like the first time all over again… it's who I want.. my vanilla ice cream with chocolate nutella waffle and I'll be damned if I get some stupid strawberry tart…no matter how yummy it is.

    So what's the trip up here ? Since the Universe doesn't feel or decide but just delivers, what's the deal with this something better story?


    1. Not sure you meant it to be but its hilarious Lyla and can’t wait to hear Ninas perspective on the same. I too believe this having what YOU want should be absolute. Let me have it and discover for myself that I can have better (if that is indeed the case) and then at that point make a different choice. Otherwise it feels like “we can be, do or have anything we want BUT…”. There really should be no buts if this is to make sense for me. Over to you Nina.


      1. yes Caronganga it was meant to be tongue in cheek because i think one of our biggest challenge on this journey and it’s mostly obvious on forums is we take things SOOOOOOO seriously, I included. Heart matters can be so scary because of the possibility of getting hurt but also because of this concept we have that if we don’t have what we want we will die a terrible terrible teeeeerrriibblle emotional death .. it’s not an easy road, unless you make it a vanilla ice cream with nutella chocolate sauce waffle.

        Seriously though ( but not too seriously), it annoys me to be told that everything is possible but not that one thing… well it is, but then someone somewhere might decide it’s not really what you want .. what the … ? why tell me to ask if you’ve already decided ? that’s just crazy and a little stupid … ok a lot stupid … so I think there is a gap there – hope Nina can kinda fill it 🙂


      2. If you feel that “everything is possible but that one thing,” you will keep receiving circumstances that mirror this belief. Believe that everything you want is equally possible xx


    2. If you ask for that or something better, you will receive what you believed you could receive, consciously or not, but if you know that you want your specific desire, are happy and grateful for it and know that it’ll happen for you, it is going to happen if you truly believe and let go.
      If you want the old job back, be happy about every circumstance in it and appreciate it, imagining yourself there and knowing it’ll happen 🙂
      I know you shared how you feel about your specific man honestly but you can manifest him if you truly feel good about being with him. If you allow yourself to be hurt by those sides of him, it’ll be difficult for you to love him and therefore manifest a relationship with him. One of the reasons people say “or something better” is so that they could manifest something they feel genuinely good and happy about but if you resent your guy for his faults, you can’t feel immense love for him which allows you to manifest a relationship with him fast. However, by focusing on his good sides, you will evoke even more of the good in him and he will share that goodness with you. If a relationship with him is what you want, don’t ask for “something better” if you want HIM. Just know it’s yours 🙂 Things turn around fast when you stay focused on the positive and on having your desire.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you Nina, I do get it: the most dominant thought always prevails – but here’s the kicker though sometimes we think we are thinking something but then the subconscious comes and messes with stuff you’re not consciously aware of. That’s why people can be caught in subconscious behavior without consciously realizing why until they meet friggin’ Criss Angel to mindfreak them into realization.

        It’s not always smooth sailing to manage the thoughts we’re aware we think about … add peek-a-boo thoughts you didn’t even know you had and you’re basically Bill Murray fighting of Ghosts in a Groundhog day ( I’m really in that groundhog comparison these days apparently).

        I honestly find the most soothing most of the time is to say F it! But that’s when I’m on my ego driven control freakness and I just don’t feel like fighting myself anymore ( now why would I even do that ) … otherwise I love everyone and see rainbows and friggin’ unicorns all over the place with a genuine desire to save the planet…..Until the random subconscious thought I didn’t even know was there shows up and I’m back to F it…. you know so far it’s worked : regardless of the outcome I’m a lot more at peace with myself and how I feel and the outcome doesn’t phase me… I kinda sorta don’t care because either way : I stay awesome so it’s a win win. Besides, I saw the future and it’s really cool : we get married and have a blast until life does us part.

        I’m not hurt by his behavior anymore, partially because I don’t have to see it and because I’m tired of feeling some kind of not really nice way because of wanting other people’s approvals, his included. So I focus on my process and he does what he has to do : Universe/God/Jesus and his Possee will do the rest.

        I don’t look for signs but everyday I see his name, or some significant thing i associate to him or his car (which I never noticed anywhere before) all around the city … I have decided it means he’s following me in his mind and sending me smoke signals – we’re even neighbors now so I know something has to be afoot, i just can’t see what it is right now and truthfully I’m okay with it. I learned that things are never what they seem to be unless you believe it so.

        I’m really busy with life and I think that is the best thing we can do for ourselves when on this journey. Miracles are what seems impossible but happens anyway and dreams come true while we’re awake.. so … I’m having an all nighter because I’m not missing this show 🙂


    3. I love the way you write. So funny!!

      ‘it’s who I want.. my vanilla ice cream with chocolate nutella waffle and I’ll be damned if I get some stupid strawberry tart…no matter how yummy it is.’

      I feel the same way.


  4. Don’t think that one thing can’t be possible. I feel the same. If everything is possible, everything is possible. Period.
    That ice cream story reminds me what my friend told me a couple of days ago. He felt like a certain sort of ice cream and in the evening a friend invited him for that exactly ice cream. So I like your idea. Let’s take it as easy like that vanilla ice cream with nutella chocolate sauce waffle for you, for me maybe some matcha ice cream with mochi topping. 😀
    It is just as easy like that 🙂
    If I decide to do or have things I stick to them. Even though I fail once or twice, that just reaffirms I am getting closer! (Of course, redeciding is totally okay, who to judge anyways)


    1. Exaaaaaacctllyyy … I do think it’s as easy as that … when we’re resisting we’re basically not deciding which ice cream we actually want … that’s all it is … it’s not that serious : that’s the main point of everything 🙂

      Now, matcha ice cream with mochi topping coming your way this instant !!!! Do you prefer UPS or teleportation? We’re quite flexible with delivery you know 🙂


      1. Awesomeness. Feel the vibes and ice cream coming my way 😀
        Srsly, you just made my day haha
        I know we are all kinda anonymous here, but is there a way to contact you in private? Love the way you create this 😛


  5. sure thing mate 🙂 I love to make new like minded friends – I am the only one in my current reality who has really embraced this whole way of thinking so would love to add more like minded friends – shoot me an email ambassamay at gmail.

    I’m glad i could contribute to making your day, I think that it’s part of the alignment process as well – 🙂


      1. haha no Gret’ I’m just a confused mess of an expat child that was exposed to so many different cultures that I speak everything and nothing at the same time 🙂 from down under eh ? pretty cool 🙂


  6. RS and Lyly,

    You made me laugh and I can feel a shift in my alignment. Let it keep going… I would prefer vanilla ice cream topped with coffee dust and hot chocolate… lol.
    Love and Light


  7. ouuhh Lightline Vanilla Ice cream topped with Coffee dust and hot chocolate : that sounds like poetry to me …. I might hand deliver this one 🙂
    I think from now on we should refer to our significant others with dessert names… yummy crunchy delicious and oooohh so easy 🙂


  8. I found this on forum; I have known about this for 2 weeks now but never applied it. I will be from now on.

    “Thanks guys! I really, truly believe that anything is possible! You just have to let it be! I also find that 68 seconds reeeeally helps! Every day for the past two weeks I give my pure focused thoughts to one small thing for 68 seconds and within hours (sometimes even minutes!) it manifests!! I plan to do this over and over until I can become super confident and deliberately attract bigger things.”

    Have you all heard of the 68 seconds? It is when the Thalamic Gate (inside your brain) opens and you merge with the Universe through you head chakra and your manifesting sinks into the cells of your body.

    “Within 17 seconds of focusing on something, a matching vibration becomes activated. And now, as that focus becomes stronger and the vibration becomes clearer, the Law of Attraction will bring to you more thoughts that match. At this point, the vibration will not have much attraction power, but if you maintain your focus longer, the power of the vibration will become further-reaching. And if you manage to stay purely focused upon any thought for as little as 68 seconds, the vibration is powerful enough that its manifestation begins.”

    Watch this! Proof of her ‘head opening’ –

    You can find timers on Youtube or use you phone, i guess. I always found myself rejecting abraham. I think I might have a belief in there about the LOA also. Dunno. Anyway. I will be using it from now on.


      1. I don’t know. I just remember it was the very first book i ever picked up on the LOA about 10 years ago? i just remember feeling like something felt a bit off. It was their book, The Law Of Attraction and i remember putting it back on the shelf and since then I have rejected EVERY Abraham book. Is it not possible that they read the works of Neville and Murphy and then ‘made up’ Abraham?

        Maybe i felt afraid? I don’t know. I just held the hand in my book and like I said above I have rejected Esther for years.

        Maybe its my trust issues. I have big ones. I have seen it now just in the last few days.

        Then i found out that most of the LOA gurus have taken everything they know from Neville and Joseph Murphy years later.

        Why do you ask? Anything else to share about Esther?


      2. I personally think some of her ideas are very good. I love this particular quote:
        “If something you want is slow to come to you, it can only be for one reason: You are spending more time focused upon its absence than you are about its presence.”
        And this one…
        “You have more harmony points with every person on the planet than you have disharmony points, because there is much more of you that is in harmony with your Core than you realize or that most of you allow. The closer you come to being in harmony with your Source Energy, the more in harmony you are with each other. When you think about other people and what they think of you, do you understand that what they think of you has very little to do with what you are? It has mostly to do with the habits of thought that they have developed. It has more to do with them as thinkers than it does with you as the subject of their thought. If nothing is more important to you than that you feel good, you can form a fantasy about someone who is in your life and they will begin to modify to meet your fantasy, because Law of Attraction is a very powerful thing.”


      3. Actually quite the opposite for me, when I saw the Secret years ago she was the one that stood out for me the most. There was something about her that I felt was believable, regardless of whether it was made up or not – it made sense.

        Now that I know about Neville I just go to the source for information but I do know that whenever I feel really off, an Abe video usually gets me right back on a more positive mindset.

        But I have heard people genuinely resistant to Abe Hicks and I guess it’s just a matter of preference. There are other people who might do it for you or listening to Neville’s lectures on youtube can do just as well.

        The 68s of pure thoughts though is something really powerful – though sometimes I have to do it a few times to get a manifestation it makes sense and it’s one of the few Abe exercises that really make sense to me ( she tends to lose me at vortex and focus wheels though).


      4. Are you picking anything up on me or have any feelings of Esther?

        Maybe i just rejected it because my subconscious didn’t want ‘the good things in life”

        No idea. Sometimes i am very shit at feeling or trying to put it into words.


      5. I think you’re good at feeling and putting things into words but it doesn’t matter what you thought then, only what you think now 🙂


      6. I also remember about a year ago downloading “ask and it is given” and attempting to read it and everytime i tried i would put my iPad down and feel afraid and make an excuse or procrastinate to read it.

        No idea.
        As you can see I am not good at putting my feelings into words.

        Nina? Can you see anything here?


      7. For this example, I believe you are right because you ARE good at describing your limiting beliefs 🙂 If you also wanted to use those teachings to attract your person back, you may have been afraid of actually getting him and feeling guilty about it afterwards cuz he had said he didn’t want to get back together?


    1. Hey Gretta! I watched the video, as I had heard about this method of controlled thought for a specific number of seconds and I think it’s pretty good 🙂 The video is definitely helpful, thank you for sharing it 🙂


  9. Sorry. Is there anyway to go back and edit posts you have written? I dont want to delete any it’s just that I forget to write things and keep having to send more posts when I could just add to a previous one.


    1. I know I can edit or delete comments but I only do so if people ask. Otherwise, I approve them all and leave them as they are.


  10. I do notice though Gretta 🙂 you question yourself and justify yourself a lot love … I noticed you were most convincing and assertive when you were speaking about your gift which is also the one thing you said you eventually stopped using…

    why did you choose to do that doll?


  11. I stopped because he didn’t believe me. At first he believed everything, until he saw me and decided that night that i wasn’t good enough. He didn’t have to tell me, i knew by the way his text messages stopped the next day. It went from good morning every morning to nothing. We hadn’t seen each other in 9 or so months and I had put on weight i had been unwell for 5 years before that. He thought I was some crazy person who has walked off the street and tried to tell him that we are meant to be together. ***Ill never go back on what I’ve said or told him, EVER.**** I already knew from the day i met him that he had problems just by sitting next to him. I told him the next day and he admitted I was right, but I am only right to him and other people when it suits them. I just realized that there is a very huge possibility that he saw a photo of me that was taken the other day and this is why hes done this. Because I am not skinny. Apparently I should be young, blonde and skinny. I’ve seen his ex-girlfriend. She is beautiful, she is also marrying someone else now. He got every single piece of evidence and he STILL. DID. NOTHING.


  12. I’m a size 14 Australian. Don’t know what that is American or UK. Just to throw that out there. I don’t hate my body at all anymore and haven’t for a long time. I had a EDNOS for 5.5 years.

    Its very hard to not be angry at him right now. I have to be honest. Sorry.


    1. could it be that you feel like he owes you something and you feel duped? Why the anger ? isn’t he entitled to his opinion ? ( just throwing possibilities out there to get to the bottom of your resistance… because his resistance to you can only be fueled by your own you know 🙂


      1. and australian size 14 is a very average size …why focus on that ? is he so shallow that he would care? or does he seem to like he would care because you do?


      2. Owe me something? No.

        Why am I angry? It’s not because he didn’t hear what I said. It’s because he started saying insane things such as I was using 2 phones to create conversations between myself to send to him to make him think i was clairvoyant when what he was sent was conversations from past clients (they approved it) and family and friends and when these people tried to call and explain it was them he would either not pick up the phone or not respond to their letters. It’s those idiotic things he kept coming up about me that has upset me the most.


      3. Nina / Lyly.

        Lyly – I had to come back online and reevaluate something you said about the anger.

        The question really is; “What am i gaining / have I made so vital about staying like this towards him?
        It cuts me off from him, everyone and the world and it reduces my risk of getting hurt.
        If i stay angry at him or what I think is anger I get to keep my distance and reduce the risk of getting hurt.
        It cuts me off from everyone and everything and any perceived danger of being hurt or being hurt again. Which is what I have done my entire life.

        I think I maybe carrying a belief that ‘the world is not a safe place’ and when you look at the text messages his mother was sending him about me – you can see how she instilled fear into him about me also – I think he holds the same belief. It explains why he started shaking in my presence after being bombarded with text from her. Then you look at my mum who told me the other week to put a pair of mans work boots at the front of my house and when I asked her why she told me so it looks like a man lives with you. Hows that for instilling fear and the world is not a safe place into me? We have the same kind of mother. Always warning us and everything is always a threat and dangerous.

        I continuously test people to see if they are genuine. I always think they are just messing with my head or playing mind games.

        Wtf is the word I am looking for that will unlock me from this prison?

        Fear? Trust? The world is not a safe place? People cant be trusted? Always watch your back? Don’t trust people? I have no idea. If one of you can point it out I can get rid of it with EFT and other modalities i work with. This is not something I’ve ever tried to work on either believing that i NEEDED to stay on guard to stop myself being hurt.

        I feel so close to it that i can actually feel this issue wanting to jump out of my body.


      4. Nina/lyly

        I left a comment below about how i think i found a belief. I don’t need a reply now. I worked on it with something, not EFT

        I don’t have those feelings anymore.

        I will get back on track.


        Liked by 1 person

  13. Anyway…

    I know I’ve created this. There’s no other way it came to be into my reality without the help from me and my thoughts and feelings of myself or him and as us as a couple.

    I know what it takes to ‘fix it’


    1. that’s on him though – the same way your insecurities project unto him, his paranoia projects unto you 🙂 and I agree the way you can sort it out is all you and no him especially considering the complexity of your history.

      I like to imagine my guy and I have no history at all, we just met and i’m excited to see what happens. So I can be upset or emotional thinking about past issues because they never happened 🙂 not in my world anyway … i don’t know what’s happening in his but I know in my world it feels pretty darn amazeballs!!!! That’s that chocolate vanilla ice cream waffle talk :p

      Ease is everything, I resonate with a lot of things you’re saying but I also know how exhausting it feels to be mad, insecure, worried and feeling unfairly treated all the time … i decided I didn’t want to be that woman anymore so i work consciously to remind myself of the new person I chose to be… Today something I needed didn’t work the way I planned, that’s okay… I know it will work out some other way because well….. i want it 🙂 the woman i was would have felt devastated that ‘nothing ever works in her favor or that shit always has to be so hard … ‘ that life is not sustainable ..and if anything this journey is a beautiful opportunity to make that change …

      From the sound of it girl you gon” need all the patience in the world when your man remembers you’re the everything he needs in life and comes through – how are you preparing for him?


      1. Yes to the first line. The projection onto each other.

        That’s what I planned on doing. Acting like we just met. Yes to what you said in everything in paragraph 2.

        Haha.. At the last line. Do you have any suggestions. I think I am patient haha, not as patient as Nina tho. Thanks by the way Nina. I came to the site with alot of hurt.

        What are YOUR suggestions in preparing?


      2. Hi 🙂 I am very happy you found wonderfully abundant support here 🙂

        Here’s my take on the preparation points.

        1. Continue to love your looks. This will already increase your confidence, not to mention that you have to like yourself in order for others to like you. Ultimately, looks don’t mean anything, it’s all in the energy, but looks can still increase the confidence of the person that wears them 🙂 Some people try and lose weight thinking it’ll give them more confidence but if you aren’t confident, you wouldn’t be even if you were skinny. It’s an inner energy thing. Those who think they need the looks to get the confidence soon realize they’re the same person even after improving those looks. Also, you say you’re OK with your looks but when you complain about what you say his type is, you give out conflicted energy as if you truly dislike yourself. You don’t want to put that energy out and attract more instances of being upset in your life. Positive thinking is primarily for YOU and by extension, your relationship.

        2. Don’t worry about what he might be thinking. In order to be happy and manifest, only your opinion and energy matter. I know that you can sense his energy but whatever he thinks doesn’t matter and there are some things you are only assume that he is actually thinking. However, none of them matter. Practicing self-focus in this way will also prepare you for him because those who are happy with themselves make the best partners.

        3. Believe he will come to realize everything you want him to and be a happy person. Believe that the happy you is in a relationship with the happy him and soon, you will start to visualize what this looks like.

        4. Send out heart energy. Lovingly think about how you want things to be between you two and be grateful that your heart energy is touching him. You will feel yourself sending it out, as the heart is a strong energetic field. Direct that heart energy to him and you will literally feel the energy travelling out of the area of your heart and touching him, attracting him to you. You will also notice the changes in your life and your increased feeling of love for him. When I feel my heart energy touching someone, I feel movement in this area of my body and I can almost feel that energy touching them!

        5. Remember that everything you feel that you need to forget him for hides an issue that you actually need to forgive yourself for. Our feelings are a reflection of ourselves. I know you said you were angry with him but think about that means in terms of being angry with yourself. Is there something you are angry at yourself for that you haven’t examined?

        6. Ask yourself why you want to be with him and write down every reason you WANT to be in this relationship and why you believe it could make you happy. Keep the list close by and read it when you need to, it’ll help your focus.

        My preparations suggestions are all about your energy and your alignment with your desire. If you think lovingly about what you want to happen and believe it is possible, you don’t have to do anything else! These questions will help you feel better in general and then, you will be able to see the good in him again. After all of that or even now if it makes you feel good, you can prepare your physical reality for his arrival – your home, pick out clothes for dates etc. 🙂

        Decide if you want do this or not, or if it’s worth it to you.


      3. Well I think there are a few things I focus on :

        1 – what kind of woman do I want to be in that relationship : Do I want to have my life together, be confident, successful in my craft and driven in the things I want to do- organized in my space, in my life and enjoy every day fully – have healthy relationships and friends who support me . Be strong in my faith and positive in my outlook about life because I understand that my happiness depends on me and eat as many waffles as I want without feeling bad about myself because I’m kind supportive, loving and understanding of me .. Among other things.

        As a girlfriend ? Patient? Caring? Confident? Fun? Understanding ? So aligned with myself that things he does that I might disagree with don’t phase me ? Do I want to be easy and light to be around ? Do I want to be able to enjoy the moments without getting mental about what might or might not happen in the future – stop analyzing and trying to figure him out and just let him be … Enjoy waffles in the morning sun in bed … Absolutely

        And then I look at where I’m at and fill the gap where it needs to be filled … That I think is how I’m preparing … I’m doing my bit and the rest is the universe’s job 🙂 easy peezy!


  14. I really need some guidance.

    My man friend finally responded to my texts Saturday evening after a week of silence. He did apologize for the delay but it keeps happening.

    I have not responded back yet. I am not sure what to do. My gut (and just about every other resource) is saying I should hold off on contact for a while and let him miss me. I have not done so since I was downgraded from girlfriend to friend. I reach out every couple of days or so.

    I would love for him to ask ME to get together for once. I feel like I am chasing him. My biggest fear, though, is that if I stop contacting him, even briefly, he will get mad and move on.

    I am so confused on what to do. I don’t want to play games but I feel like I am doing all the work. Plus, when I text him and it takes days for him to respond, it makes me feel bad and if lowers my vibration.

    Any thoughts?


    1. You have to change your beliefs. Your upset energy is just a reflection of your beliefs.
      You have to dare to imagine a world in which he messages, reaches out and gives you attention. This will help you produce positive energy around your relationship and then attract it to you. When you start to visualize different things, you will receive them. Ignore the current reality and instead, imagine the reality in which you have what you want until it starts to feel real to you. Then, you will be able to believe it’s yours 🙂
      Positive feelings will help expand your heart energy which will then touch him 🙂


  15. Hi Bea,

    Your story sounds a lot like mine that was a month back. I have successfully manifested his responses on my messages, that too positive. Like yes we can hug, yes, I wanna meet etc. And also I got the answers to many question that I had asked universe while we were not talking. (I visualized him answering my messages, reading them and affirmations. The same thing started happening)

    Now I am on my way to messages getting initiated by him. He is reching out to me to share his feelings with me. He wants to know everything that I wanted to know nce or used to ask him. I am working on this. This ste was not easy for me as I always felt an impulse and messaged him about my felings. So… the only way I could do that when I let him go in my eyes so he has to return what I am affirming. (For that, I sent him a message in which I mentioned my feelings and said that I am letting it go because i want him to be comfortbale with me interacting. I don’t ant to feel like I am forcing..) Since then I haven’t contatced him. I am doing eveyrhting what I did earliers. Visualizations, affirmations and reading LOA posts on blogs.

    The first physical manifestation of everything has made me so strong and I know it will happen too for good.

    You just start thinking what you want. For instance he replies to yor messages late in a week or so. “My baby responds reads my messages right away and responds to them as soon as he reads.” I feel it and ket it sync. Then I say thanks.

    Start doing like this. You have to be patient though… it will happen I promise you.


    1. Thank you, Nina and Lightline, for the helpful advice. I feel better.

      I like Lyly’s suggestions for Gretta, also, especially about eating waffles! ; )

      Liked by 1 person

    1. We can! All you need to do is think about how you’d feel after winning the lottery and knowing that this great amount of money was yours! Being sure that it’ll happen and letting it happen is also necessary. Knowing must always be present.


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