There was a time in my life when I preferred always being the one to initiate contact with the men I wanted to be in a relationship with. It was amusing until I wanted to experience the opposite.

I would be the one to ask someone on a first date. I would be the one to initiate contact through social media. I would call first. It wasn’t a rule but instead, something I enjoyed. The men involved did their fair share of contact initiation, calling and planning our dates but I enjoyed my own share of it as well.

Over time, I developed a preference of just thinking about how much I liked someone and wanted to be with them only to have him make the first move. However, it depends from one situation to another – sometimes, it will still be my move. The ultimate point is, it doesn’t matter who makes the first move. I only used to do it first because I enjoyed it while knowing my desire belonged to me already.

What does matter is the reason for wanting to make specific contact with a specific person.

Many want to make a move due to the fear of their desire not manifesting or wanting to speed it up. This energetic state says one is affirming the absence of their desire – why would they want to speed it up otherwise?

Do you see the difference?

I only ever made a move after achieving the belief that the relationship was mine already. Once you achieve this awareness, you can do whatever you want!

Readers have asked me if they should contact the person they are interested in but since many of them also say that they are unsure if they can manifest the relationship, I usually advise against it. Their questions come from fear and the sense of absence of their desire. Also, they focus on making the contact now instead of focusing on their end goal, manifesting that contact instead of their end goal.

When contact is made out of the sense of absence of one’s desire, the absence of that desire perpetuates.

The other person doesn’t respond for whatever reason but the one that initiated contact interprets this as he/she pleases, creating unpleasant scenarios in their mind. Instead of trusting the Universe, trusting their desire belongs to them already, they reach out wanting to see proof and instead showing they don’t believe in having their desire already (otherwise they would not feel the need to see any proof of it).

When initiating any kind of contact, one must do so out of sheer enjoyment and no expectation. Just like attachment to the end result prevents it from manifesting, attachment to see specific results from specific contact prevents the said results from manifesting. In some specific situations, one will know that initiating contact will bring them results and it does. However, if the motivation for initiating contact lies in wanting to escape the feeling of NOT having the relationship yet, don’t do it!

When initiating contact, you have to feel good about yourself. You have to be convinced you add value. It’s that simple.

The feeling of having one’s desired relationship is the most important thing one needs to achieve. Once that feeling is present, relaxation follows. Trust follows.

When you follow the manifestation steps named here, it is easy to focus on the end result and remember why it doesn’t matter who makes contact first – all that matters is living in the awareness of having your relationship already.