1. C or Nina

    I included you in this C because I think you might find this interesting from the quote you gave me the other day, the Abe one.

    As you know I keep saying how stubborn he is and I really focused on it the last few days to see if I could find how he might be mirroring me or vice versa.

    Well, I found it. My stubbornness is coming from not wanting to use the loa for this to happen between us. I remember hearing, “I want it to be natural.” These were the exact words that he said to me years ago when he thought that the way we met was not natural.

    I can feel huge resistance to wanting to use the LOA for this to happen. I want him to like me ‘on his own’ without the need to feel like I had to do something to make it happen. I want to do it my way. (That’s him to a T!!) You probably remembering me saying, “it’s always on his terms!” Well, that’s pretty much what I am doing also. I want it done MY WAY without the use of the Loa. I just want him to like me like a ‘normal’ person would.

    I can feel my own stubbornness and I say the words he does also. He said why isn’t the Universe making us come into contact with each other if it’s meant to be? Does he not realise we are crossing paths everytime we speak??

    If you have any suggestions I would personally love to hear it.


  2. We talked about meeting. I said I wanted to plant some trees. He said yes plant more trees and not fake grass. I asked when we would do it? Now silence again and not reading the messages. He only responds if it has nothing to do with emotion or an us.
    I must be somekind of masochist! I don’t know any other normal woman who would tolerate this kind of abuse. I’m tired of getting so happy to having to feel like this again. How exactly do you ignore someone’s behaviour when they act like that? It’s been 4 years why can’t I just get one fucking break please!!!!


    1. Hi Gretta,

      I think Nina’s post from today is the answer. The reasons you receive the same behavior from him is because you expect it.

      I have a similar issue where the belief gets challenged each time and that I get hurt by his actions and that makes it hard for me to do my affirmations and feel good about my situation. Sometimes, when I say “he loves me”, my heart actually hurts from sadness.

      As to your comments regarding your stubbornness to using LoA, I’ve struggled with feeling guilty about it. Not because it’s work for me necessarily, but I feel guilty that I’m trying to influence him against what he has told me he wanted (to find a relationship with someone else that he feels more a connection with)

      Nina had told me to focus on being the one that makes him happy. So that I don’t feel guilty

      I’m still so impressed with how much you have progressed with this guy. How long ago was it that you were in zero communication pretty much. You are amazing Gretta, you don’t need to feel bad for wanting him despite his behavior. Trust me when I say, I know that feeling you are expressing, but focusing your thoughts on that current reality will not move you closer to what you want

      If you decide you want to let him go, that is your decision and totally up to you. But as long as we go back and forth with our thoughts, we have not made up our minds and according to Ninas posts on this topic we have to make a decision and stick to it til we see what we want in our reality.


    1. Hi Gretta,

      Love, love Sex in the City 🙂

      If you feel like you’re a masochist, and focus on that, the LoA will bring you more opportunities to feel like a masochist.


  3. Hi C

    What is scary is that is how he talks and acts to a T and all I can see is myself in her. I can barely watch it.

    I don’t know what to do anymore. I really need someone to tell me you need to do this from now on. Such as don’t contact or don’t reply or just become feelingless or something. I am lost and don’t know what to do. I now can’t muster up any feeling to see anything good coming from this or even just to walk away and permanently erase him from my mind.

    In the second phone call we did speak like normal people for 10 minutes but as usual he throws in some stupid comment. I try to focus on that normal 10 minutes but its now to hard again.

    I don’t know what to do. Nina pic below says in order to manifest a relationship fast you must only feel love.

    How can you love someone who keeps rejecting you and comparing you to other woman? There is nothing more damaging then someone comparing you another person.

    I must have to become completely delusional to ignore what is happening.

    I don’t know what to do.


    1. Hi Gretta,

      I am totally one of those girls from the video like at some point I thought pain was normal which is so wrong and opposite to LoA.

      I do realise this which is why I have walked away from such a state although I still seem to like guys who are not 100% sure about me. I don’t know when that will change! It shows its such common feeling with people.

      Anyway I am trying to suggest you may be you should just give yourself a break a big break. This should come to your mind on its own only then you will follow it with all you heart. It may just happen in an instant when you look into your mind – may be try looking at your thoughts like an outsider without judgment. You will be able to change other’s mind about you only when you can do this with your own mind. There’s nothing as powerful as belief everything needs belief. Believe in yourself.

      You need to cleanse some of the negative thoughts from your mind. It is not as easy as I am saying it but I have been following it myself for months now. I have not been in contact and it is helping me – at least I am not in the premises where I am being let down.

      My thoughts are with me and I am using them in the right ways. Its been quiet sometime I haven’t been in any contact. I am trying to regenerate my feelings, thoughts by just keeping myself away from such people.

      You should try and take him off from every equation of your life for now! and please don’t focus on ‘for now’ as it gives you hope. You should convince yourself that this not temporary arrangement.

      I don’t know how to explain this well but it will help your mind to differentiate between your desires/feelings/goodness/badness etc.

      You should start with fresh mind and focus on that. If we revolve our actions around a person it will manipulate our minds if we take that out of our entire being we will know what we are. If you can do this for few months, your desires will follow you.

      I’m sorry if I have failed to explain it but really hope this makes sense.


  4. Hi Gretta and all.

    Don’t feel bad, Gretta. I was seeing a guy for about 6 months. I thought it was going pretty good. He had a young son that I didn’t have a chance to meet. About a month ago, he told me out of the blue that I can’t meet his son and broke up with me. A few days after the breakup, I see he is already with someone else and she has since met his son. Now, how am I not supposed to not take that personally and not feel like I am lower than pond scum?! I have been trying to heal my broken heart and non-existent self esteem but it has been hard.

    I don’t know if I caused this somehow. I hope I didn’t because I am really hurting and don’t want to ever be hurt like this again.


    1. I would say don’t visualise anything. Just give yourself a big break and stay happy! Take him out of your mind for few months. Everything will fall into place.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. He text last night to let me know he is working on himself with Pono. That he can see how I feel and started asking himself the question, “How can it get any better than this?”


  6. Yes he has taken on a positive suggestion to work on his stubbornness and he has acknowledged my feelings.

    First time ever. 🙂


  7. The last 2 times I have held myself back from reacting badly towards him and he has text. I’ve learnt not to jump to quickly because that is how he is. He doesn’t respond straight away. Ive also learnt not to get too happy as not to fall down to hard. I have also learnt not to read into it if he doesn’t answer something I ask because getting that text last night shows he IS doing something / thinking and that is how he does things. Ive learnt with him (although it doesn’t look like it on here) not to react anymore. Even tho I have been coming on here and being so upset I was still sending love, energetically and through text. I wrote down how i was feeling last night and text him saying I love you xxx xxx xxx thinking it was gonna be my last message and i was going to pull out and then he text that. I used his full name and middle name and surname (haha) then I got that text.


    1. Gretta,

      Did you actually text him that you love him? Just wondering if you are at that level now. It is good that he is texting you so often.

      My guy is still very sporadic. Usually, he will respond (eventually) if I text him but he rarely texts me first. I want him to text me first. Show an interest. I know I am probably showing lack because I am always checking my phone and then get sad when I don’t hear from him. It is so hard to imagine being happy he is texting me when he is not. I don’t know what to do.


      1. Bea

        Yes, i told him multiple times through messages in the last week. He had blocked me again on FB and then unblocked me after the phone conversation. Even tho I was coming on here and being so upset and frustrated I was still sending love energetically (the best I could) and through messages. I was just saying exactly how i felt in those messages. I recall 2 times nearly sending him a upset message but I stopped myself and reversed what I had been doing in the past to the complete drastic opposite end of the scale and just kept sending him NICE things such as “I hope you are having a good day!” “I trust You” “I love you” I even sent some lyrics from the song Everything Comes Back To you by Narry Storan. Not all of them just the parts I liked. Have a listen to it on youtube.

        I don’t think if I didn’t take some kind of action that he would even be working on himself or considering it.

        I feel better now. I have not heard from him today but i don’t need to. He will come around in his own time. There is a Abe video on youtube called “if you want it before the other person is ready, this is what happens.” have a listen if you want.

        He is still texting even after me sending messages like you see above and i can’t see someone who doesn’t feel SOMETHING taking you off block or sending you messages back unless there was something there for them also.

        I will be taking a back seat now tho. x


    2. It is really great to know that the moment you decide to pull out he texts you! That’s so LoA style 🙂

      Yes we always tend to react too quickly. It is better to remain detached and just believe in self. Love will find you.


    3. You know what to do and you did it. You accepted him one personality trait at a time and acceptance and positive feelings are essential to making LoA work. Keep believing xx


      1. Hi C,

        I haven’t been in a relationship for a long time and I am in my mid 30s. I had known this guy for couple years now but we have only met few times. I anyway felt that connection with him. He blocked me because of various reasons which I cannot disclose on here unfortunately. I will give you my private email for details later. He wants to meet me now and has been in contact non stop. I have become way too stronger and I feel so relaxed.

        I have read you other post on here. Its so disheartening but trust me C if you could put same sort of energy/ feeling on positive irrespective of your current situation it does work! All you need is that will power and faith in yourself. Its very difficult but once you get the hang of it you will know. I would say start doing some yoga and do things which interests you. End of the day I realise its more about us than the guys or the love we are looking for. Why can’t 40+ year olds be happy and have family. Its just your thoughts are clouded with negativity. Once you become detached to the outer world and dwell within you will get everything you want.


      2. Thank you N,

        It seems like Gretta focused on love & heart energy? What did you start doing that you felt made a difference?


      3. Hi C,

        Right from the day he blocked me I knew that I should stop worrying about it. I tried to forget about him which didn’t help. I tried to contact him on multiple occasions but its didn’t help. All I am doing is separating my love life and myself. I am trying to make my own world. I have become more spiritual and reading lots of yoga books and focussing on good energies wherever possible. I have stopped being with friends who I don’t really enjoy being with not that they bad but I am just different so I doing things on my own even if it means to be alone. I have been on my own no family or friends but this is extreme situation I know. If you focus more on God/ or anything which you love unconditionally will help bring that detachment and thoughts will regenerate. So there’s no one method that you may want to follow. It all depends on the person. Just focus on your thoughts and self belief is the most important thing. Then comes unconditional love which should literally bring out positive energy throughout your body which can happen when your thoughts are focused. Love to be shown to anything you want. Just don’t do things as routine but put your energy and heart into it.


      4. C

        I have just browsed my other answers from few days ago. Its funny when I wrote them I was obviously following them. My desires have followed me. As I said – this ‘lack of’ should in no way bother you. When you are with the person show him all the love and affection but when on your own show the same love to yourself too. Do not work on yourself to get him but do work on yourself to bring out the best for yourself.
        I really hope in a few days time you will back on here to tell us how it has worked for you 🙂 ❤


  8. Hi everyone,

    You’re all having such great results! I imagine you are happier than ever to have your guys contacting you.

    I know how you feel, C. I find it hard to send my guy love and feel good about us when he is wishy-washy with his contact and on other dating sites. I feel like I am just fooling myself and giving myself false hope when I visualize us as a couple. We have seem each other more but it is all my initiating the get togethers and texting, etc. It worries me that he won’t contact me if I don’t take the initiative. I am growing tired of doing all the work and chasing him. I want HIM to want ME. Is that so much to ask? I know he enjoys my company when we are together but why does he feel the need to look elsewhere also? Why am I not enough for him?

    This is not making me feel good.


    1. Hi Bea,

      I know you feel bad that he is not contacting you, but at least you are still getting some contact. I haven’t heard from my guy in 3 weeks, and the last time we spoke his answers were very short, and even if I was trying to engage in conversation, he just answered in a couple of words.

      Send him heart energy and love when you are together, and don’t expect anything or wait for him to change. Just believe that he is yours and you have everything you already want. Trust me, its the worst thing you can do, because the energy you give off when you are together, is not the energy that is conducive to a relationship.

      Seeing him is a good thing regardless who initiates it, as long as it makes you happy. You can send him loving energy in person 🙂


  9. C,

    Thanks for the advice. I definitely send heart energy and show my love and affection for him when we are together. I can feel his attraction to me when we’re together, but once I leave, it stresses me out because I am not sure if/when I will see or hear from him again.

    I understand what you are saying about it shouldn’t matter who initiates the contact but I feel I am doing all of it. It would make me feel so good if HE would contact me and ask me out. Does that make sense? I want to back off and see if he steps up but what if he doesn’t?


    1. I understand how you feel 100%, but the good thing is that you are together in close physical proximity.

      Why don’t you start visualizing that he is contacting you? Maybe you already are, but if you’re anything like I am, you are having a hard time letting go. Sending you good energy too Bea.


  10. Yeah, I visualize him contacting me but like you said, I have a hard time letting go and “believing” it will actually happen. It has been this way for so long I guess I have a hard time believing it or he will change.

    I want him to show he is interested in seeing me without me having to always do the leg work. I am not sure what or how to visualize that.

    Any ideas, Nina? ❤️


    1. Hi Bea,

      I was blocked for about 4/5 months and to be honest all I wanted was for him to get in touch with me. He jokingly said something on the lines that the universal higher power had made him to contact me.
      I am sure you will share us your success story soon 🙂


      1. Hi N

        That sounds amazing, so happy for you 🤗, how did you inspire him to contact you?ie, what type of affirmations were you using and how were your feelings throughout? Did you have any resistance when you were blocked?

        I am hoping to share my success story as well !

        Lots of love and light


      2. Hi Jeanie,

        Please see my posts above C. I didn’t do any affirmations all I did was to try and forget him. Either ways that would make me happy and that was the stage I was at.
        And yes you will to.. 🙂


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