How to Regain Positivity When It’s Complicated

Many have been there – a relationship they desire to revive, improve or make happen while wrestling an interfering past or present with their (intended) partner is having trouble manifesting. The Law of Attraction believer in this pair knows that the Universe responds to us (this is LoA in a nutshell) so they try to believe in the relationship against all the struggle. It isn’t going well. The manifestation practitioner in this pair wants to think positive, feel good and believe…but is having trouble.

Therefore, the pair continues to be on two separate sides of the current reality. For the side that notices and wants to manifest a change of relationship, those existing feelings of a complicated past often interfere with any potential belief in the present.

It’s hard to think well of someone you resent. It’s also difficult not to shout frustration directly to one’s face. It’s natural to want to show someone you’re disappointed. They didn’t meet your expectations.


When it comes to using LoA to regain positive feelings for the person we want to be with, we have to simplify. When we do, your person feels good with you and you with them.

This cycle of goodness will have to start with you feeling good about them first, since you’re the one manifesting the (change in the) relationship. It was your conscious idea to manifest this relationship so somewhere deep down, you believe that it must be worth having.

And how do we start it?

The first (and therefore, crucial) step is to stop believing every little voice in our minds that speaks of our person’s ill intent. Doubt in the possibility of a relationship usually comes from the belief that our specific person is working against us or engaging in actively negative thoughts about us. If we believe that, how can we feel good about them or manifest a relationship with them?

Together with having confidence in yourself and the ability to manifest anything you desire, this step can make everything easier. Don’t get me wrong – confidence in yourself is still the most important step because without it, you can’t believe in any miracles happening for you. Next, when you get out of your head and realize that you are the one imposing negative thoughts on the actions of your specific person, you will have a much easier time manifesting their love for you.

Your specific person is simply living their life. If they distanced themselves from you in the past, your mutual energy wasn’t creating enough attraction for you on their end. Maybe you had a negative reaction to their general honesty and things soured between you. Or maybe you did everything right but expected them to not appreciate it, leading you to the wrong moves of your own such as putting pressure on them or expressing yourself in an attacking, critical manner. Could it have been possible you felt cheated out of being treated the way you deserved and lashed out? Even if you were right, lashing out will never lead to results or personal satisfaction, not even a sense of relief.

It’s easy to think someone is avoiding us or trying to distance themselves from us. Even if they are, you can reverse it with inner acceptance and, interestingly enough, accepting the current reality as it is. Whatever your specific person is thinking right now, accept it and then say, “Now, things are changing. He/she is coming around.” Admit where things are because you’ll see that it’s not a big deal. Own up to your part because this actually makes you a bigger and stronger person. And then reverse it!

It’s important to talk about why you lashed out or currently have negative view of the person you want to be with (or your shared history – same thing). Either lashing out or fuming on the inside every day happens because you’re acting from your need. You didn’t decide and feel that you have love – you feel the need for it because of the assumption that you don’t have it.

These inner feelings might be hard to imagine if you’ve never practiced the Law of Attraction for a relationship. At the same time, they start with a decision. With determination. By feeling that what you want is important enough to be a presence in your life instead of just a possibility.

Taking away the negativity from your end of the reckoning with the past will make more of a difference than you think. Self-confidence is the cornerstone of a successful manifestation and a confident person knows that they don’t have to be perfect. They aren’t any less amazing when they make a mistake…but only if they’re aware of it.

Taking the negativity away from your own mistakes allows you to take the negativity from your specific person, allowing you to manifest your desired relationship as a result.

Published by Nina Grdic

Life coach, writer, lifelong traveler, music lover and confidence/positivity/Law of Attraction expert.

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