Without Self-Confidence, We Cannot See Our Partner Clearly

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How to be confident

Imagine this scenario. You are attracting a relationship. You have positive expectations for a few days. Then, something happens – contact, a date or a conversation – and it’s not as much as you would like to receive. It’s not a proclamation of love. It could be an expression of personal frustration by your partner. Whatever it is, it sets you off into a downward spiral; suddenly, you become frustrated with your person (and their frustration).

Suddenly, you don’t see a person you desire anymore. You see a person who is standing in the way of you and your desire, a desire of a happy relationship with that person.

It’s like you’re fully engaging with two entirely contradicting realities. One features a person you know they could be, a person you want them to be, with the feelings you want them to have. The other displays a person that isn’t anything you want, except in certain moments, who doesn’t engage with you in any desired ways.

You might wonder where it comes from. You might already know it comes from fully engaging with two contradicting realities, as mentioned, which isn’t the way to attract your desired one alone. However, this jumble of energy and emotions also comes from another factor, the one of



The current reality can only upset us if we already feel unsure of ourselves, unsure of our ability to manifest or keep our desire or unsure whether or not we’re good enough and deserving of our desire just as we are. It always comes down to those three factors, and you can see how all of them relate to self-confidence.

When we don’t love ourselves enough, any imperfect statement from our specific person is going to hurt us. Our lack of self-love will make us think it’s about us and not them.

When we don’t love ourselves enough, we will allow the words of others to impact us, especially when they aren’t flattering. We will feel belittled instead of dismissing these statements as untrue, coming from an individual hurt with their life or considering them objectively from a place of self-improvement and growth.

People struggle. Life has been difficult for many, and even in happy relationships, they must face their insecurities. However, if your specific person’s thoughts about you are positive, they will seek out your company because it makes them feel good.

In order to accomplish this, you must ignite your specific person’s positive thoughts towards you, and can do so in the following ways.

  1. Think positive things about them. To yourself or out loud, celebrate their attributes. Give them compliments in your mind and visualizations, and feel those compliments for them. Think about how beautiful they are and why they are a good person. Because when you do this, even though you can’t see it, your specific person will start to think about you. They will begin to think positive thoughts of you, and reach out to you. Enjoying those positive thoughts will also make your affirmations of having a wonderful relationship together believable, and your confidence will grow. You will be able to trust the Universe. This is how energy works!
  2. Send them heart energy. You will already be doing so unintentionally every time you think positive thoughts about them. Your heart energy can also be sent intentionally, by focusing on the warm feeling around your heart and sending it to the person you want to be with. Your questions about the current reality will settle, and you will be able to increasingly enjoy your visualizations of the desired. You will start to feel that this desired scenario is truly possible.

If this post strongly resonated with you, you are probably not wondering how to visualize and believe but rather how to feel good about a person towards whom you are harboring strong resentment. Whether their behavior made you feel bad about yourself or ruined their image in your mind, you have to take these ideas seriously.

  1. If they were brave enough to express the feelings they carry around inside, it would probably make you cry. When insecure, hurt or hopeless, a person lacking self-confidence lashes out, ignores you or fears what life may bring, they are carrying around unimaginable pain and anxiety. They probably struggle with being themselves every day. They’re afraid. If you are dealing with an individual whose reactions ruin your confidence, this is the truth 99% of the time – you are in love with a person who lacks confidence themselves.
  2. Feeling compassion for your specific person will increase your understanding of them – and compassion is rapidly felt when you love yourself! Loving yourself will ensure that you see the things to love about your specific person instead of the traits to disdain – see how it all begins and ends with our self-perception?
  3. You must reiterate your self-love every day. Give yourself compliments and it will be easier to think them of your specific person. Know who you are and know that everyone’s actions are a result of their own problems, and you will be able to feel compassion about your specific person. Love yourself, and you will be able to visualize the two of you together, trusting that this relationship is yours already and the Universe is bringing it to life.
  4. Even if you only have insecurities in one area of life, they should be resolved and your self-confidence rounded out. This will help your happiness, life and manifestation.

Published by Nina Grdic

Life coach, writer, lifelong traveler, music lover and confidence/positivity/Law of Attraction expert.

3 thoughts on “Without Self-Confidence, We Cannot See Our Partner Clearly

    1. Hi Alice. I noticed several of your comments this morning, including the long one you mentioned. Thank you, and I so love that everything helps but with very long and detailed inquiries, you are welcome to email about booking a coaching session for the transformation of your situation.


      1. Dear Nina, of course I understand.

        As lately I have already spent a lot in paid services online for my situation I currently cannot afford to spend any more. Nevertheless, yours as others answers to longer and detailed message in the past (such as “Gretta” etc is helping) ❤

        I am learning to understand that 'letting go' is about letting go of the past and not the future.
        And most probably what is hindering me is my attachment to the past (the feeling of hurt and abandonment etc)

        I am also learning that focusing on the now IS like focusing on the past, as the now is a product of the past, and that I therefore should tend to my vibrational reality and feel as what I want is already here, or better yet already happened.

        I am learning that the reason it's often recommended to go general is because there is often resistance in the focus of the specific, as we notice the lack of it at the same time. And so, this is probably why many tell me to not worry and to focus on the relationship I want rather than it having to be with him (also many tell me this cause they don't want me to expect too much and thus get hurt – which besides being a common belief we learn from young age is probably a reflection of my doubt and fear). But having faith and being open about who the Universe delivers.

        Through you however, I have come to understand that it is possible to focus on a relationship WITH a specific person when you don't do it out of an obsessing and needy state. And this has been a game-changer for me as I now have gone from hope to belief. I feel much more confident and relaxed now. Like it's a done deal rather than me having to make it happen.

        However, I wonder, does the Universe deliver what we really want or also what we think we want?


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