My twenties were a time when I had become confident in manifesting a lifestyle (all about that here) and became more open to creating relationships.
The only question was, did I prioritize them as much as my lifestyle?
I remember the day I decided to start. I was 22 years old, watching The Holiday and Cameron Diaz-played character Amanda Woods had reminded me of myself. She was a successful person with a great lifestyle who was closed off to true love. She had never prioritized it – not until opening up to its beauty and a true connection. She met a man who made her see what love can do – I decided I didn’t need a man to start believing.
I had never been the same since.
A significant part of my newfound relationship openness rested in deciding to not be afraid of possible break-ups. If we have any fear of getting hurt, we can’t manifest our desires. We will always be blocking ourselves. Law of Attraction dictates us to be open to our desires, and be prepared to dive into them with 100% conviction of wanting to experience them. Another important part rested in deciding to not be afraid of not getting what I want because I know that I will get it. However, fearful thoughts still came uninvited so I came up with a solution. Whenever they came, I said “No!” And that was my way of not engaging.
Fear can happen. Fear can be uninvited. If we don’t engage when it comes, it will leave. You can be fearless by not engaging, even if frightening thoughts appear.Tweet
Now, you’re on your way towards thinking like a person who is open to relationships. They don’t have to be the scariest thing in the world.
Relationships can start and end but if lasting love is our goal, we will keep going until we find it.
HOW (NOT) TO MANIFEST SOMEONE NON-SPECIFIC USING A LIST OF QUALITIES
Two years had passed since The Holiday moment, and I wanted to meet someone special. This wasn’t going to be my first serious relationship – that one had come and gone, and I was ready for another. I had created a manifestation list in my head, having included on it many qualities I intended to see in a partner.
I also forgot to include the opposite of many things I specifically didn’t want in a man, and ended up with someone who had a large number of qualities and a lack thereof. I never manifested a generic description of a partner again.
This might sound like the scariest thing in the world – exactly what I said relationships didn’t need to be. It was a good lesson.
When looking back on how it happened, I realized that people can form personality traits for various reasons. Someone could want to be emotionally open but currently putting up walls because of a previous bad break-up, and engaging in romance with them means you will have to witness that wall coming down in both great and difficult ways. That wall containing hurt was never dealt with for the sake of self-confidence and happy future relationships. You will have to be both their partner and their therapist, which isn’t always a mark of a healthy relationship – especially if they want to enmesh and live in co-dependence instead of trust.
Instead, you want an emotionally open partner who wants to thrive with you! One who wants to be open and there for you without feeling threatened about your past or theirs. One that focuses on the future with you and not their own past.
I only went with “emotionally open.” I should have been much more specific.
Law of Attraction can only return our requests as specifically as we make them.Tweet
So, my first non-specific person I manifested a relationship with wasn’t the perfect fit. However, I did consider why he wasn’t, and why I attracted someone with both positive and negative traits.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?
When manifesting someone non-specific, I suggest being specific about all the faucets of their personality that make them attractive! What kind of traits, energy and qualities in a potential partner do you find attractive? In your mind, what does your perfect person have? What kind of energy does your perfect person exude?
I didn’t think about those things.
When combining someone’s qualities with an attractive personality on your manifestation list, make sure to create a person you actually want to be with. More people could be loyal than permanently romantically attractive to you specifically.
The following is a quick LoA lesson.
For months before this manifestation materialized, I talked to friends about wanting to attract it. However, I’m using “want” loosely here – I fully intended to attract it and decided I would.
Don’t try to manifest your goal – intend to! You don’t have to feel strong all the time but you can still choose to believe. Belief creates, even when we don’t feel like it’s there.
I intended to manifest this relationship, and later find a lasting love. I found both, exactly when I was ready for them.
And we decide how much we’re ready for.