I’ve talked about the benefits of focusing on ourselves when manifesting anything, including a relationship, many times over the years. Ultimately, I tailored my personal approach to manifesting relationships based on prominently being aware of my own confidence and focus.
What does that mean?
Let’s start with a significant difference in focusing on the other person instead of ourselves.
HOW IT STARTS
When we want to be with someone, we tend to think about them. And at first, we like it! So why should we focus back on ourselves during a time when we so want to know and therefore investigate the feelings of our desired partner? And what does it mean to be focused on them vs. ourselves?
At first, we naturally focus on the person we want to be with, and how they feel about us. After all, we were told to “choose someone who shows how much they care,” which prompts us to figure out whether the person we want “cares enough.” So, we analyze our potential partners’ level of interest through their actions. Can’t we just keep doing that? Can creating our own reality be as easy?
Yes. It can.
But the problem with focusing our desired person’s level of feelings starts with one unanswered text, phone call or direct message that will immediately prompt us to think they’ve lost interest. We will begin to live in worry, our energy will reflect living in fear that they’ve lost interest, our interactions will become uncomfortable and suddenly we’ll be telling ourselves and our sympathetic friends that it all “just fizzled out.”
Believe it or not, there’s a way to avoid creating a relationship based only on the current state, never taking it further. And it doesn’t begin with worrying and not feeling good enough from the very beginning.
Self-confidence means knowing you deserve an amazing story with your special person. A lack of confidence means you expect the manifestation to be difficult or impossible.
Self-confidence means being okay in your life until your manifestation happens, because it’s going to happen! So, why worry? Knowing that it’s a done deal is enough. Self-confidence is what allows you to believe in your manifestation even before it arrives, and that belief is exactly what makes the manifestation happen!
Focus on you. I focus on myself every day.
HOW TO LIVE ON A HIGHER VIBRATION
Even if you have no contact with the person you want to attract just yet, you have to start by affirming their interest because of your qualities. You must literally affirm to yourself that your person is very interested in you, and you must live your life happily in the meantime. You are now living happily to attract even more happiness. Work on the knowing that what you want is within reach – this is self-confidence and self-focus. When you and your level of trust are enough for you, miracles and manifestations start coming together.
You have to believe in yourself in this way and believe in the Universe to create all the opportunities you need to become a couple. Same goes for your person’s current lack of interest – it doesn’t matter because you can awaken it!
If you begin to analyze your desired partner’s thoughts but aren’t on the receiving end of their affections just yet, you might worry that they aren’t interested and you should move on. However, revived interest in you from you will manifest interest from your desired partner, too.
If you encountered a situation where a period of communication or dating fizzled out, it is especially important that you revive your own interest in you! A lack of current interest from your desired partner does not mean you cannot completely blossom in your own eyes and theirs. You can develop so much self-love that you’ll end up forgetting this fade in communication ever even happened. And if you do remember, you will think it was the most insignificant moment in your life because you weren’t at your best anyway.
Before manifesting your relationship, you must love yourself enough to know that you deserve to be in it! If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect to believe that someone you deem special could truly love you? If you don’t love you, you won’t believe that your dreams could possibly come true. This is why you must be enough for you to love first; otherwise, how can anybody else?
WHAT SELF-LOVE IN A RELATIONSHIP MANIFESTATION MEANS TO ME
I am enough for me to love.
What does that look like?
I know and nurture daily belief of I believe in my intelligence and my ability to dazzle people. I believe in my ability to get what I want, and expect to be treated the way I deserve. This exact approach makes me value the wishes of other people as well as myself, and allows me to avoid taking things personally. It allows me to avoid over thinking, which is one of the biggest blocks to living a positive lifestyle! And it all starts with valuing myself.
Because I know this about myself (and if we stick to it, belief becomes fact), I expect the best treatment from my partner. I expect the value I hold in myself to be reflected back to me in my partner’s words and actions.
At any time of manifesting any relationship – professional, friendly, romantic or otherwise – my self-love allows me to affirm these relationships, know that they’re happening yet enjoying the best parts of the life I already have.
I’m happy now, before manifesting my latest desires, because I love elevating others through my work to becoming the amazing individuals they were born to be, and having the lives they were meant to have. I am happy to nurture my health and appearance, and teach people how to do the same. In addition, I love coaching on self-confidence, setting boundaries and showing others how to treat you. I have to finish planning an upcoming trip. I have new things to write about, restaurants to go to, friends to have fun with. I have concerts to see and my vegan and sustainably made luxury wardrobe to continue curating. I have those things to do because I enjoy them, they amuse me, and I have ways of making them even more fun. I can dress up for dinner. I can turn my knowledge of vegan apparel into another business. I can organize a fun outing with friends. I can be grateful for having so much already!
The happier I am about what I have, the easier it is to attract more.
If you say “Things that nice never happen to me,” you aren’t happy about what you have.
VISUALIZING FROM MY OWN POINT OF VIEW AND THE AWARENESS OF HAVING MY DESIRE
Here’s my overview of focusing on myself and my own feelings when manifesting any desire, including a relationship with another person.
When I visualize, my experience of living my desire is in the forefront of my awareness.
Visualization is about how I feel having what I want – how I feel being my now-husband’s girlfriend (before we even began dating, of course, as I manifested our relationship), how I feel seeing him express his love to me, how happy our loved-up interactions make me. I would affirm he was completely in love with me and visualize us together because it made me happy.
I blossomed in my own eyes by imagining my life even happier with my new relationship in it. I insisted that it had to manifest and didn’t accept any other outcome.
Yes, I affirmed that I made him the happiest he’s ever been, and visualized him completely in love with me…but I visualized specific scenarios that made me happy. I visualized us traveling together because it made me happy. I pictured us living together because it was what I wanted. Today, we live in our first owned home – a unique house that feels like living in a vacation property – and we love traveling together.
I didn’t visualize scenarios I didn’t want to experience, so I didn’t visualize us apart. I visualized us together. I visualized doing the things he likes, and how happy I made him by participating. When you love someone, you also want to make them happy. That’s how much goodness feeling good about yourself attracts.