This morning, I was asked what I would do in case of wanting to reconcile with an ex boyfriend. The person who asked the question specifically asked me what I would do if it were my life. I felt very flattered that they valued my potential to inspire them and I was challenged in a positive way, as reconciling with exes was a business I never really wanted to be in.

To be perfectly honest, I only wished to reconcile with an ex once in my life (only because I wasn’t interested in anyone else at the time, until meeting someone new a month later). This story had become my template for breakups, whether they were made official by myself or by the other side. I just believe that every end always means there’s someone better out there and I found them every time because I was open to meeting them. I truly believed that every breakup happened to me for a reason but in reality, this was just a mask for the notion that I never cared about anyone that much. Most of my exes were momentary fascinations I had consciously manifested short-term relationships with.

I decided to look at it from the end result – a basic LoA technique, looking at the world from the point of desire already manifested. I got an ex back – what does that make me? What do I look like? How happy am I? How do I feel? How has accomplishing this made me feel?

What I could automatically see was looking and feeling like a movie star. If getting an ex back is such a difficult task to accomplish, according to many, then why not feel better than ever and make it happen easily? Seeing myself as someone who had just done this, I felt invincible. I felt like a goddess. I felt so good in this imagined scenario that I immediately visualized mutual friends inquiring about the news, everyone asking how it happened and being so surprised, as if the world had transformed around all of them.

Soon, I dove into a spontaneous visualization of the flow of events. I listened to my heart and mind, believing that all the steps taken towards accomplishing this goal had truly come from the essential parts of my personality.

So, what specific steps did I take?

1. Meditation.

I believe in meditation, I love it and no matter how much I practice it, I always want more. In this scenario, I could see meditation helping me make peace with the mistakes coming from both parties that ultimately lead to a breakup (and keep in mind, it is never only one side’s fault). I already believe that continuous feelings of anger towards an ex pose a question of whether or not one really wants them back. How is it possible to love someone who does nothing but cause annoyance? Then, I remembered. When people seem to push our buttons, this is still a question of our peace, our happiness and our stability while they were just the utility that brought those aspects to our attention. If someone pushes my buttons, it means they have touched an unsettled aspect of my mind, heart and soul, leaving it up to myself to fix if I want to improve myself and my life. A scattered mind, which can happen after a breakup, cannot be of benefit in getting an ex back. In this case, meditation is a personally recommended way to focus on the love for two phenomena – oneself and the Universe.

Developing the feelings of trust in our abilities, trust in the Universe, trust in our powers and trust in our thoughts allows us to feel love for the infinite possibilities we can create in our lives.

2. Never surrender to loss.

Feelings of loss create more of the same, just like any feelings. We are all connected to each other, especially those we choose to gift our thoughts and feelings to.

However, I understand that the words your ex has uttered to you may have been hurtful and therefore, caused you to feel that you may have lost them.

You may be offended at your ex thinking or once saying that the breakup was your fault. Don’t be because simply by knowing that it is never only one person’s fault, you are already ahead of most people when it comes to understanding relationships. Their insecurities prevent them from admitting they have done something wrong but that’s their problem to deal with. By focusing on their thoughts, you are deflecting your focus from examining yourself while most likely fearing what you might find. Change this pattern of behavior today – we change our lives and the lives of others with love, not mind control.

All the while, you are forgetting that what we give is what we get. When your ex told you that it was your fault, they have projected the energy onto themselves of things gone wrong being their fault. This doesn’t necessarily refer to relationships alone; it usually means your ex already blames himself (or herself) for many things gone wrong in their lives. Everything is connected and issues translate from one aspect to another.

3. Locate your personal values. 

What are your main values in life?

To those who have adopted novelty as being one, wait for your ex to start feeling new to you. In this case, the period of communication cut off after a breakup will be both a blessing to you as well as your most reliable tool. After taking some time in absence from your ex’s life, they will feel new to you while at the same time, your absence will make you missed in their lives.

Novelty can also be translated to yourself. Do you wish to be a new and improved version of yourself the second time around? Are you doing it only because you feel your ex will like it or do you truly want to improve for you? If it’s for you, as it should be, become that person now. Since this new person is the one both you and your chosen person love, you can see how looking back from the end result will ensure that the new you receives the love you want.

If having security is something you seek and value, embrace your love for it and create security within yourself. Make your home your haven. Place all the security you want to feel in it – your home is a sacred place with nothing but happiness in it. Turn your home into your perfect world of love in which there is only happiness and the reminder of how much you love the world. You have been blessed with such a wonderful home and you feel immense gratitude for it every single day.

I cannot stress the value of the perfect home too much, especially to those who see it as an extension of themselves. Everyone wants the perfect home and a mission to create one will lift your energy more than you can imagine. To those valuing security, a home you need only yourself in is going to take you straight to heaven. Over the years, I advised even the most couple-oriented people to start enjoying their own company in their home and sooner than I thought, they started to cherish it so much that even I was baffled. This comes naturally to all of us. You could be next.

When locating our personal values, we are able to express them on our own, without anyone’s help. Then, not only do we feel complete but others are lining up hoping to be the ones to complete us.

4. Be aware that everyone is equally valuable. 

You may be idealizing your ex right now, thinking he or she is better than anyone else in the world. However, nobody is. The only measure we have to go by is being drawn to and by love. We are drawn to those who emit love and happiness and we draw specific individuals to ourselves by feeling love for them. This is why it’s difficult to attract an ex one still holds a grudge toward.

The men I drew into my life rapidly were those I thought to be amazing. Not better but amazing! I was attracted to their minds, hearts, points of view, sense of humor and charisma. I was drawn to the “it” factors they possessed which made them different from others. The factor of amazing was caused by the love I felt for the individuals they chose to be instead of things such as personal validation factor, their social status or their level of financial wealth.

But what makes a person amazing?

That is different from one case to another.

What drew you to your ex in the beginning? Was it their kindness? Was it the attention they were giving you? Was it their ability to speak their mind, their confidence or how much they cared about you?

Was it the surprises they were throwing you?

Was it excitement?

Surrendering to those feelings will automatically make you remember what kind of person you were when you started your relationship. If you wish to create this exact reality again, you have it easy! You already have everything you need to focus on, fill with love and see everything unfold.

However, if you only wish to use these feelings and memories as a starting point, you may. Just remember that being allowed into one’s heart and soul will show you they are a complex person who wants love, just like everyone else. Everything you are feeling, they feel, too. We have all been hurt at one time or another therefore your ex isn’t superhuman by any means. Relax about them as much as you are relaxed about everyone else. You can attract them back just as easily.

5. Feel love for the millions of options you are offered in life, whether or not you wish to take them. 

Here’s a little abundance mindset exercise I created.

Take three of your exes or those that meant a lot to you. With each, remember the time you felt the happiest. With one at a time, remember this feeling and you will notice that you have relaxed automatically. Reliving these experiences brings you great happiness.

Now, imagine all three of these situations happening on the same day! You probably can’t without feeling a little suffocation for all these people coming at you all at once. You wouldn’t have time to deal with all of them; you would, however, think they were lovely and caring which would only prompt an even greater snowball of love and attention from them. This shows you how much we actually receive when someone gives us their feelings and just by changing your mindset and sending feelings of love towards the ex you want to see return, you will change the energy between you and open the path for the two of you to come together once again.

We communicate with each other through our feelings, whether or not we utter actual words to each other or see each other face to face. Communicate to the Universe that you are grateful. Once you realize there are many things in the world that could make you happy right now, you will release the attachment from what you now see as the ultimate and only happiness.

6. “I always receive even more than I asked for. Thank you.”

When I realized that feeling massive amounts of love for something or someone combined with relaxation, detachment and trust brings even greater results than I ever imagined, I turned this into my own personal mantra. Just thinking of it makes me smile and whether or not it was consciously manifested, this happened to me more times than I can count. I would definitely use this in getting an ex back, as I would remember that sending such a significant amount of love towards anyone and anything ensures magic happening all around.

Right now, you may want an ex back and in love with you. But what if he also asked you to marry him? What if she told you she loved you and wanted to live with you?

You may want your ex to be completely devoted to you, in love like never before. Anything can happen when you trust – what you wanted plus some amazing surprises.

7. Beware of the reality created. 

Every aspect of our reality is something we have created ourselves. When it comes to manifesting exes back, fears may come up. The only thing you must remember is that any kind of fear equals creation.

If you fear that your ex can’t love you back, you are creating that reality. If you fear other suitors coming their way, that’s also something you might be creating. You have to trust the Universe and know that your dream goal is yours already. If I should manifest an ex back, I would only accept the option of us being madly in love and only wanting to be with each other. I would think of us as soul mates, caught up in this amazing love we never want to let go of.

When one’s heart opens, they don’t even think about how things will manifest. All they see is how happy living their dream makes them. And since feelings of love create so much faster and more powerfully than any other, this dream comes to life.

I truly hope that those of you who wish to manifest getting back together with an ex will find inspiration here.